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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Help! My three year old is asking about periods!

16 replies

missyfafa · 09/04/2011 19:35

My little girl caught me on the loo and started to ask some very difficult questions. Anyone had this problem and how did you deal with it? I don't want to scar her for life but I also don't want to lie or be too graphic either....

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

LawrieMarlow · 09/04/2011 19:40

I didn't see it as a problem. Just explained that once a month there is a lining that forms inside women and if they aren't having a baby, it comes out. Then I said that I used sanitary pads (mine were reusable just to add to the fun) to catch the blood as I didn't want it on my pads. Doesn't seem to have concerned DS (7) or DD (5).

Now I have a coil and no periods.

purpledragonfly · 09/04/2011 19:42

It's fine, I told my DD this when she was 2 and my DS was 4.

Something like...in my tummy is the babyhouse where you grew. You have finished with the babyhouse, so now it is empty, because you came out (of my vagina/whatever). Blood comes out sometimes because there is no baby in the babyhouse anymore so the blood is not needed. It's fine, it doesn't hurt. My kids are fine with this.

DD is now 3 and she describes birth in graphic detail!! The baby comes out of the vagina. If the baby can't fit out that way, the doctor cuts a hole in the tummy, lifts the baby out and sews up the hole that they cut.

I will be a bit if she repeats it all at nursery though! Neither of my kids mind about any of the above, in fact they both think it's rather funny. DS (5) has today asked me about the function of testicles - now that is difficult!!

Original poster

missyfafa · 09/04/2011 19:43

Thank you! That is a good, simple explaination...not like the one I was trying to dream up!

OP posts:

gemitygem · 09/04/2011 19:44

Im with Lawrie, dd aged 2 asked what tampax was today (was in the box, I wasn't using it!!), but I said its for Mummy when she is on her period. She just said ok mummy and that was that, no further questions asked.

I always remember my mum never telling me about stuff like that and boys knowing before I did which was horrible.

Original poster

missyfafa · 09/04/2011 19:45

Yes, I had the testicle thing today too! Manage to avoid it though.

OP posts:

Himalaya · 09/04/2011 19:49

Mummies bleed once a month. It doesn't hurt. The blood is there for if you want to have a baby. It helps the baby grow.

.... Something like that?

cheesesarnie · 09/04/2011 19:49

just answer the question.no more no less.id avoid lies and funny words-like babyhouse,sorry purple!
tell her it doesnt hurt you as she may be worried that blood=pain

purpledragonfly · 09/04/2011 20:04

It's not a funny word - it's a word that is literally describing what that organ does. DD was only 2!

Jezabelle · 09/04/2011 22:35

At 3 my DD asked how babies get in mummy's tummies. I would never lie to her. I told her that a little bit of mummy and a little bit of daddy get together in mummy's tummy and a baby starts to grow. Then she asked how the little bit of daddy got into mummy's tummy!! I was a bit horrified but just went with the honest approach:

"it comes from daddy's willy".

DD: "But how does it get into your tummy?"
Me: "Daddy puts his willy into mummy's minnie."

She found this a little amusing and moved on.

I had expected to have a frank conversation with her, but hadn't expected it quite so early!

If she had taken a deep breath and asked me why we breath I would explain the circulatory system to her (in simple terms - not sure I could manage the complicated bits anyway!) It's all biology. I reckon if you're DCs grow up not remembering how they found out about periods/sex, all the better. It's a sign that it wasn't traumatic for them, (unless it was so traumatic that they blocked it out I guess!)

Anaxagora · 09/04/2011 22:38

Watch this for guidance on what not to say.

ShowOfHands · 09/04/2011 22:43

DD is 3 and has known for a long time about periods and babies and birth. She is very matter of fact about it and her preschool keyworker informs me that when she plays dress up doctors she is very keen that they're medically accurate and has patiently explained to her teachers what a cs involves. Although, she does ask the odd question every now and then that makes me do a double take. She asked yesterday if the other sperm that didn't make it to the egg in time stay inside you or swim back out again. She was pretending to be Spiderman at the time and the question came inbetween 'I'm saving the day' and 'what exactly does radioactive mean mama?' I find the sex questions easier to deal with.

systemsaddict · 09/04/2011 22:51

Oh absolutely, far better growing up knowing about periods than having 'the talk' - I am still traumatised by memories of 'the talk' aged 10, it came as such a shock!

bessie26 · 09/04/2011 23:12

Blimey, they start these questions early! I didn't think I'd have to worry about it until DD was 4 or 5!

I definitely want her to grow up "always knowing" about stuff like this rather than having to have "the talk" when she's older so need to have a think about some good responses!

When I was a child I had a book (with very large clear font) explaining how babies were made on the shelf next to my Mr Men books! I must ask my mum how often I wanted it as a bedtime story!

cookcleanerchaufferetc · 10/04/2011 07:06

Oh my god, my DD is 7 and we have never had this talk ..... Should I buy her a book about it and discuss ......

heliumballoons · 10/04/2011 07:24

My DS (6) announced the other day how woman are like seeds - they grow babies inside of them like plants grow from seeds.

He ruined it by saying men can have babies too - turns out he was talking about my friends DH 'having' their DC's (as in being the dad). I did remind him he has a father too.

Great thread as I do think DS is getting to the point where he'll start to ask questions - I know now the honest and simple truth is better and less traumatic.

FriedEggyAndSlippery · 10/04/2011 07:26

I've been wondering about this as DD is 3.9. As a family we are not at all shy about all this, the problem is that she's terrified of blood (no idea why, we've been careful not to create any anxieties) so I'm not sure how to tell her what STs/tampons are used for!

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