Any tips on how to break a fussy 4YO?

[upyourdiva]

My DS has been a fussy eater since he was 12 months and at one point stopped eating altogether and almost ended up in hospital.

I have tried everything teh health visitor suggested. Reward charts, serving up and starving if he does'nt eat it, bribery, no sncacks etc but nothing seems to work so about a year ago we gave up trying and letting him eat whatever he wants but now he is starting school in August and I don't want ti to affect him.

His diet is shockingly bad but it was either taht or starving altogether

This is a list of the foods he will eat-

Breakfast- Shreddies, Cornflakes, Weetabix, Toast

Lunch - Jam/lemon curd or butter sandwich

Dinner - Chicken Dippers, Fish fingers, French toast, Toast and cheese slice (sometimes), Potato smiles, Sausages, Cold Sausage roll, Yorkshire puddinng

Snacks - Breadsticks, Crisps, Sweets, Yoghurts, Cake, Cheese dippers, Banana, Raisins, Biscuits

That is literally every food he will eat. I know he is not so much fussy because he won't even try things, he just says they are yukky and refuses point blank to even try it.

So has anyone came across thhis before and how do you deal with it?

I am thinking of going down the serving only what we eat and not making any allowances but I feel so bad for doing that :(

Stop stressing - my DD1 lived on frosties, toast and marmite, cucumber sandwiches and fish fingers and spaghetti hoops for years - to be fair she would also eat roast chicken and croquette potatoes if pushed. She is now a healthy 29 and eats pretty much anything. And as you say - everything else was YUCKY.

Try and relax a bit more. You have most of the food groups covered there apart from green vegetables. I have known kids with even more restricted diets and they have ended up OK.

Have you tried involving him in the preparation of food. Also serving himself i.e. putting cooked food in dishes on the table and let kids help themselves. No pressures. Don't cater entirely for him seperately, but try and work things he does eat into your meals. Keep him involved in family meals so that he can try new things if he likes.

Also kids often eat differently out of the home - peer pressure can be a wonderful thing. You may find he eats better at school?

That sounds like hard work. I think I would make your family food and offer that. I would not offer any treats - crisps, cake etc as anything he does eat has to be nutritious. Take the emotion out of it - offer food and if he says no then accept that. Don't fill him up on sugary or fatty foods just so he has something. Water or milk for drinks and fruit for snacks. Bananas are pretty good. Raisins aren't great for teeth. I would avoid processed food as it is not very nutritious (nowt wrong with a bit in a balanced diet but his isn't balanced). Sandieiron's daughter's diet sounds OK. Some people have rated this as good. His basic message is "kids won't starve themselves, keep offering healthy (if limited) range of foods and it will all come right". He is a paediatrician so presumably a reliable source.

Good luck

Personally, I don't think his diet is terrible for a fussy eater - there's protein, carbs and fibre in there, plus fruit although not much veg and rather a lot of processed snacks.
Having endured a very fussy DSD and now a moderately fussy DD I would caution against trying to 'break' them, I think being confrontational about eating only worsens the problem.
DD simply knows what she likes, she is vaguely willing to try new stuff, DSD was awful and got really stressed and upset, so in the end we decided to simply back off. She has improved hugely over the last few years, still doesn't really like fruit or veg, but will eat a few peas and the odd peeled apple, but likes things like smoothies/fruit bars. But this has mostly been under her own pace - the biggest improvements have come since she's been at senior school and in more control of her choices.
I'd say keep feeding him the food he likes, but try to come up with some meals where you are all eating the same, keep meal times fun and don't be heavy handed with the praise or the punishment. I would also only try offering him new food which is similar to ones he already likes, even if it doesn't seem to get you further, but it may help build a little more confidence in him to try new foods. Even praising him for trying a new kind of crisp or cracker.
I think if you only offer him the same food as you you'll end up with an unhappy child and stressful mealtimes, I take it more gently.

Thanks everyone.

Sandie glad to hear that it's not just DS, sometimes it seems like everyone else's child is 'normal' compared to ours and we get a lot of comments about what others would do, mostly unhelpful!

Purveyor he loses interest in things very quickly and anytime we have tried to involve him he just goes off... hopefully school will help but I know at nursery he still does not eat.

Change I know his diet is not balanced in anyway, no veg, red meat at all and pretty much all processed! We were advised that method a while ago and did try it because we were told 'no healthy child will starve themselves',... 5 days later we were advised to feed him anything because if he did not eat something he would be drip fed in a hospital bed :(

That was a while ago now as I say so I am hoping that now he may understand that he has to eat, but will have to wait and see.

The other main issue behind it, I think is that DP is fussy too and will not touch any vegetables.