Why is DS like this to most other children, I'm getting really embarrassed! HELP!

[CrapBag]

DS (3.2) is generally a lovely little boy, he has nice manners and my friends often comment on how calm he is and how he gets on and plays nicely.

However, apart from the friends that he does like, he is very 'funny' with other children. He doesn't seem to like anyone younger (apart from his new born sister). When is sees other children out and about, he hisses and makes faces at them and shouts NO! at them for no reason at all. He gets on very well with his friends but yesterday we took him to see his new nursery and he didn't like it when a boy came over to the garage that he was playing with and sat there. He hissed and made faces until the boy went away. Then after he threw a car at him (I was mortified), but later when a girl came over to play, he was fine with that and told me this morning that he liked her (it isn't specific to girls or boys either, just certain children).

We have been going to groups since he was 5 months as I wanted him to be ok with being around other children as I am a SAHM and he was an only child until 8 weeks ago. He has also had one creche session of 3 hours a week from the age of 1 so he would be ok with being left somewhere without me there all the time and so he could socialise, I know there are a couple of boys there he is friends with as he mentions them often.

Why is he doing this and what can I do? I am getting really embarrassed when other parents must think I have a really rude child on my hands but generally he just isn't like this.

Some of this sounds a bit familiar. My DS1 (now 10) had selected friends but when he was out and about he either seemed to find other children mildly threatening or annoying. His interest, at that age was in playing with the toys, and he did not like to be disturbed.

I also had a baby around this age and I wonder if some of it is to do with control - wanting to be in control and assert himself. Just after the baby was born DS1 was very very angry - I remember him rampaging through a toddler group like a dervish, pushing people over (he was not an aggressive child at all, in fact, tended to be on the receiving end).

I don't know about advice - I just wanted to say that this character trait of DS1 - liking his own company, his own space, and playing in a very imaginative way in his own world, has persisted, but he's not a social pariah.

If toddler groups are going wrong, take the pressure off and don't go for a while. And try not to worry - this isn't your fault.

DS was the same. He is 4 now and is over it . Nursery will help get him past that, worked with my DS although it took a few months. Don't worry he is not unusual :)

Just thinking again - maybe the new baby has something to do with it. He's a lovely boy, he loves his sister but has some mixed feelings which he knows he can't take out on her - so he takes them out on other children. Again, normal.

Thanks. I don't think it is anything to do with his sister as he has been like this for a long time but it seems to be getting a bit worse.

Glad to hear that others have been through it too. He does like to play on his own but he also likes to play with his select friends, but they have to be of his choosing.

Hoping that nursery will improve the situation.

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So he does sound a bit like my son. The really tricky thing is to alow him his feelings and opinions, whilst also instilling manners and consideration for other children's feeling.

Just hold on to the fact that you know him to be lovely, and try not to worry what other people think of him. He'll get there !

Nursery will help. You may even find that he does this sort of thing less when he's not with you.

My dd who is 3 sounds like your boy!

Likes her friends and is very protective of them and her personal space.

I too get embarrassed I teach her to say no politely but she still can get agressive.

I'm hoping she will grow out of it too or at least no one will bully her at school!