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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

3 week old will not sleep on her own!!!!

24 replies

preggos · 05/04/2011 19:38

My baby is just over 3 weeks old and no matter what we try she will not sleep on her own in her crib. Every night she ends up in bed with us and even then we don't sleep because she kicks about so much and because we can't sleep in our normal positions. Does anyone have any tips?

OP posts:

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K999 · 05/04/2011 19:39

She's only little. Try not to be so caught up with this. Where does she sleep during the day?

raedrenn · 05/04/2011 19:40

Swaddle and put her in a moses basket with rolled up towels either side. She likes to feel enclosed and safe, a crib or cot is to big at that age. Try a heartbeat teddybear too. Otherwise, I suggest a bedside cot. However, she is only 3 weeks old....

nethunsreject · 05/04/2011 19:41

Give it time! 3 weeks is nothing, honestly.
You could take turns sleeping with her so yuo get some rest.

jzhmum · 05/04/2011 19:41

i used to put the moses basket on my bed next to me with my hand in it....then this was uncomfy...so i put my tshirt i had been wearing over the mattress (like a sheet) so baby could smell me. Just make sure its well tucked in or put it on like a pillow case.

K999 · 05/04/2011 19:42

Yes, I forgot! Swaddling is excellent!!

mrsravelstein · 05/04/2011 19:45

swaddle. then wait about 6 months which would be a more realistic time to expect her to sleep on her own for any length of time

Again · 05/04/2011 19:46

She's been completely enclosed in your tummy, allowed to sleep whenever she feels like it, with a constant supply of food. This is all new to her. It will pass, but for now, just try to sleep when you can and enjoy being beside her. Cuddle in, rub her naked feet (my dd loved that but ds not keen) and smell her lovely little breath. I know it's not easy, but completely indulge her at this age and take breaks.

D0G · 05/04/2011 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Samsmummy2011 · 05/04/2011 20:04

I will probaly get shouted at for this but our son was the same he would not sleep in his moses basket but would fall straight to sleep in our bed, We decided to put him in his cot and see how he goes, intorduced a routine to him bath, changed, fed and bed by 7. He does cry but we listen to the moniter and go upstairs every 10 mins to check. Ultimatly he does not need anything except a cuddle (which he gets!) but this also gives me and my oh some much needed time

nethunsreject · 05/04/2011 20:07

Oh, yes, samsmummy, you wouldn't want a 3 wk old baby to get in the way of your rest, would you?!

CC might be fine for older babies, but not little ones.

Take turns!

Iggly · 05/04/2011 20:09

samsmummy that's a bit sad leaving a baby that's a few weeks into this world to cry like that. 10 mins is a long time for a baby that tiny.

preggos its normal for your baby to be like this. They need security which comes from you - they've been inside for 9 months so 3 weeks outside isn't much time at all. It's bloody hard but it gets better. Do try swaddling.

I actually coslept for the first few months aftertrying in vain to get DS into his moses basket. Now he sleeps in his cot no problem and has since 4-5 months.

LauraNorder · 05/04/2011 20:10

samsmummy

OP she's only 3 weeks old cuddle her as much as she need. There is some very good advice on here and generally on the internet about co sleeping. First 6 weeks is hard work at least it was for me. It does get easier

Congratulations btw

Flisspaps · 05/04/2011 20:11

Three weeks ago she was still inside you with all the warmth and comfort that entailed - it's normal for her to want to sleep with you still, rather than on her own in the moses basket. She has no idea that she's a separate being from you yet.

It's inconvenient, but it's what you sign up for when you have a baby :) Make the most of it (I know, seems ridiculous right now) because before you know it, she'll be moving out

LauraNorder · 05/04/2011 20:11

FWIW I also co slept with DD2 for the first 3 months. She now goes to sleep in her own bed every night at 7pm without a fuss - it does get easier.

Samsmummy2011 · 05/04/2011 20:19

I think i have been mis-understood, ds is older than 3 weeks, we are not doing cc, he gets a bit unsettled as his cot was a change of scenery to him I would not dream of letting him cry un-controllably! Sorry if my post was written to cause shock and offense

jzhmum · 05/04/2011 20:21

Co sleeping isn't for everyone....and CC is not for everyone either...relax try a few suggestions and catch up with sleep when you can...
Everyone always up-tight about first baby but it goes so fast...dont worry too much about what you do in terms of routine til the baby is about 1.

Iggly · 05/04/2011 20:23

How old is your ds samsmummy? I couldn't leave DS until he was about 15 months - before that he'd really cry. Now he grumbles but is ok! It's amazing when you can tell the difference.

RitaMorgan · 05/04/2011 20:28

In the first few weeks I had ds in bed with me and dp slept on the sofa - that way there was enough space in the bed to get comfy and dp got enough sleep to take over during the day so I could rest.

kitkat1000 · 05/04/2011 20:33

not read all thread but think you're expecting far too much - i have 3 dc and none fell asleep on their own til 6 months and i was so overwhelmed with comforting them before that, that i could never have tried controlled crying or anything like that before that age! Even when i tried controlled crying it didn't work - 2 hours later my dd would still be crying. For me the only important thing was getting sleep and if putting dc in our bed or rocking to sleep halved the effort and got us all a good night sleep then great! By 7 months all settled by 7pm on their own.

Again · 05/04/2011 21:42

At this point you need to be building up the trust between you so that she knows that you are there whenever she needs/wants you. In time that is what will help her become more independent. Do whatever it takes to make her comfortable and your time will come again

drunkmonkeyhungovermonkey · 05/04/2011 21:45

I had similar with my DD and (I know some will passionately disagree) but she was such a sucky baby that a dummy did wonders and allowed her to settle

virginiasmonalogue · 05/04/2011 21:47

DS is 9m and will still not get out of my bloody bed co sleeps still.

megapixels · 05/04/2011 22:06

That is quite normal OP. Isn't it easier though if she sleeps with you because at this age they feed throughout the night? I know it's tempting to want a good night's uninterrupted sleep but I'm afraid it's not realistic while the little one is this age :).

littlesez · 05/04/2011 22:31

Unsure why this is in the behaviour developement section? but anyhow please ignore suggestions of any kind of crying controlled or otherwise at 3 weeks old thats obviously what NOT to do.

I just used to cuddle or feed my Lo to sleep then put her in her moses basket. Sometimes we co slept but she didnt always sleep very well like that.

swaddling is a good tip too some babies like it some don't

at 3 weeks old try not to worry your LO is still so so tiny x

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