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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

25 month ds. non verbal

34 replies

cheekyprincess · 04/04/2011 21:37

Does anyone think I should be concerned by this? My ds is clearly very bright (everyone thinks that about their dc though!) And physically very advanced. But the child says nothing. He makes uh uh noises and can, to be fair, say a handful of words (off springs to mind) but none are clear.

We were thinking that perhaps we have made things too easy and now he just doesn't try. But he's getting so frustrated now.

Is it time to call in the hv?

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lulabelleg · 04/04/2011 21:47

My DS was exactly the same, we started getting a few people saying things and hv was itching to refer to a speech therapist. When we saw his paedeatrician (for other things) at about 28 months he said 'he's a boy don't worry'. He was absolutely right, its now a year later and he chatters and sings away. All children move at very different speeds and I was really put off by his peers who spoke amazingly well so much earlier, but he's doing all at his own speed.
It has been commented many times that I didn't let him get a word in edgeways

Original poster

cheekyprincess · 04/04/2011 21:59

Lulabelleg. thank you! Guess I'm paranoid as his half brother has aspergers but he shows no other signs for that. Had his hearing tested so not that.

Did you do anything to encourage your ds? So many questions but they've all gone right out of my head!

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lulabelleg · 04/04/2011 22:12

I'm sure you'd know if there were other signs. We really didn't try much, we read books a lot with him and it was clear he understood what the words were and knew what we were saying. He also started signing from watching a lot of something special (purely educational obv ), infact he still pops out the occasional sign. He said practically nothing at all and then just suddenly started building up words quite fast about 30+ months. Its lovely to hear him now singing little rhymes he learns at pre-school, not so lovely to have him boss me about grrr. Time passes fast, I bet anything you will look back in 6 months and think why did we worry.

tryingtoleave · 05/04/2011 05:04

At two, I think it is time to speak to your hv. There is probably nothing wrong but you don't want to be in the same situation in 6 months or a year and wishing you had done something earlier.

Children here are referred to speech pathologists at 18 months if they don't have 6 words.

LukeyLou · 05/04/2011 07:31

You are not alone! My 24 month DS has only 7 words, but appears to be totally fine in every other respect. He had his 2 year check with the HV yesterday, and he's being referred for SALT now because it can take months to be seen. HV said by the time we get an appointment it might not be needed, but better to be in the system now if there is a problem than to be waiting months further down the line.... He's also being sent for hearing tests - standard practice with any SALT referral.

Might not be a bad idea to see your HV just to get the ball rolling should there be a problem. It is a worry though, isn't it!?

lingle · 05/04/2011 11:08

He's frustrated (a good sign), so I'd roll up my sleeves and learn how to help him.

"It Takes Two to Talk" , published by Hanen but available more cheaply from Winslow publications is an excellent, positive, totally non-scary book that I would recommend to anyone whose child is not talking at 2 (in fact, it ought to be handed out in the maternity wards). It can be shown to partners and mothers in law without triggering any "are you saying there is something wrong with this child?"- type family arguments (a distraction you can do without). It will help you develop the best techniques to help him (so he will have similar advantages to what he would have if his mum was a speech therapist)

Try ordering it from your library first, then go to Winslow's site failing that.

I had two late talkers - one blossomed all by his sweet self in his third year (though I now realise that I'd worked out quite a few It Takes Two to Talk techniques myself), the other not till his fourth year with lots of help (mainly from me). The It Takes Two book is suitable even if you are quite happy that he is developing normally (it's nice for a child to be able to talk, after all).

In terms of the NHS, get his hearing tested.

lingle · 05/04/2011 11:09

sorry, just seen that you already did the hearing test!

Original poster

cheekyprincess · 05/04/2011 12:19

Thanks all. Waiting for hv to call back and will get on that book. So desperate for him to talk. He won't even say mummy. I am um. :o

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atmywitssend · 05/04/2011 13:09

My DS didn't speak until 2.6 - then the floodgates opened all of a sudden and I'v not had a minute's peace since then. I agree about It Takes Two to Talk.

MegBusset · 05/04/2011 13:14

24mo DS2 is just the same, at his two-year development check the HV referred to audiologist and SALT. She reckons he may have a physical problem making some of the sounds but then could just be a late developer, doesn't hurt to get on the waiting list anyway. I'm going to check out that book too.

willowthecat · 05/04/2011 13:20

Does he communicate effectively despite speech delay ? Pointing, Gesturing, Sharing attention and Imitating ?

Original poster

cheekyprincess · 05/04/2011 13:47

For the most part, yes. Although now he wants to communicate mire abstract wants, it is getting more difficult for me to decipher him. Hence the frustration..

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willowthecat · 05/04/2011 13:58

If he can communicate at that level, then there shouldn't be a problem but you have nothing to lose by asking HV/Paed for a detailed assessment of his needs.

lingle · 05/04/2011 20:17

MegBusset, It Takes Two doesn't help you if the problem is mouth muscles/tongue muscles, that kind of thing (so it wouldn't help with things like blowing out candles on the birthday cake, that kind of thing). But using the techniques would help with other aspects.

pink4ever · 05/04/2011 20:23

My youngest is 23 months and only has a handful of words(yes,no,mum,dad,bye) and I am not concerned one bit! He clearly understands what we are saying,can follow instructions(to put his shoes/jacket on etc) and will go at his own pace.

Original poster

cheekyprincess · 06/04/2011 16:29

He can blow out a candle. Don't think its a muscular thing. Wondering if we made him lazy and now he is frustrated and almost given up. He tries a few words but they are half hearted. He's stubborn and easily distracted. Much prefers running around like a loon to playing with flash cards, snap, word games with me. I assumed it would come so easily to him. He loves reading and the little action songs we do. He obviously knows them because he does the actions, just not the words. same with animals. He can make almost any noise, but not name them. Grrr!

By the way, that book is expensive!

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lingle · 06/04/2011 22:38

flashcards are probably not the way forward. go to the Winslow site for the less outrageous price of £32 for the book. it was the best money I ever spent, and is generally recommended on this site.

If £32 isn't an option, ask your library to order it?

Original poster

cheekyprincess · 06/04/2011 22:49

I was considering hunting in the library, then buying if it seems helpful. I don't care about a price tag for success, but there's only so far I can get dp to stretch without 'hard evidence'!

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tryingtoleave · 07/04/2011 07:30

I've seen lingle on a few threads, and her advice always seems good - I would try the book she suggests.

A child can have language delay without having any other problems (my friend is in this situation with her four year old). So you don't need to stress about ASD but on the other hand you don't have to ignore the language delay just because it is not associated with other issues. Best just to try to find the best way forward to deal with it.

And don't blame yourself - it is not likely to be anything you have done. And I wouldn't label your child 'lazy', either. That is unlikely to be the cause.

EllenJane1 · 07/04/2011 21:47

Have to agree with the Hanen book recommendation! Expensive but excellent. My DS1 was a very late talker, at 3 only had 30 words or so. Late reader also. He's now 13 and although English will never be his favourite subject he's in set 2 at secondary.

His brother, DS2 has high functioning ASD, so I did wonder if there may be a genetic link. DS1 is NT, though if a little bit geeky.

MarioandLuigi · 08/04/2011 11:13

I can second the 'It takes two to talk' recommendation - I have both that and the other Hanen 'More Than Words' (and I did a course with our speech therapy department).

Both have really helped us. My son was non verbal at the same age and now we have made realy progress with the help of these books. He still has alot of Echolia (copying what he hears being said) but he talks non-verbal. I would buy them again (think I paid about £85 for each book) in a heartbeat.

theDudesmummy · 08/04/2011 12:40

Hi there, I started a thread on exactly about ten days ago (and I updated it today so it should be near the top, it is called "22 month old with speech delay". People were very supportive to me.

I second the recommendation of the "Two to Talk" book, I have had it for just over a week now and it is a great resource, easy to use, unthreatening and does not label children or make you feel bad about where your child is in the journey. It works with stages of development of language skills without the usual "your child SHOULD be doing so-and-so by such-and-such an age" (which is what turned me off another recommended book "Babytalk"). You realise from the contents, tone, and the pictures of "Two to Talk" that it can be used by many different people, from those with a child with a very severe developmental problem, to those with a minor speech delay. Somehow that made me feel better, less pressured, more like we are all on a journey and we are moving forward at our own pace.

lingle · 08/04/2011 14:01

I remember DH saying exactly those things dudesmummy.

TheVisitor · 08/04/2011 14:07

My son spoke his own language until just before he turned 3. I was Merhum, not mum. When he did start, it was like a light switched on and he very quickly became articulate. What helped him was going to nursery and having to learn to communicate with others. He did have one speech therapy session, and they never called him back. In his case, he was far too busy doing other stuff to talk.

Original poster

cheekyprincess · 08/04/2011 14:42

Thedude - I'll check your thread out, thanks!

VisItor - I've heard many people say that, I just wish he'd hurry up! Ds is definitely busy doing everything else.

Does anyone know if over stimulation can aid a delay? Too much going on to talk. I need this book!

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