My 11mo has started with the tantrums already - what to do?

[redvelvetmooncupcake]

DD is 11mo and has started throwing herself face down on the carpet and screaming if I stop her doing something dangerous/destructive/whatever.

I am saying "No" firmly and gently removing her from whatever she shouldn't be doing, then she does the chucking self on floor and screaming.

If I ignore her she calms down quickly and then I pick her up and give her a cuddle and something "legal" to play with. Does this sound a reasonable way of dealing with it? I don't want her growing up to be a Violet Elizabeth but I'm conscious that she's very young still and don't want to be overly harsh.

Any advice or book recommendations gratefully received :D

Sounds like you are doing the right thing to me. My DD started early with the tantrums and now doesn't have them when other toddlers do. I used to just make sure she was safe then walk away from her until she calmed down. Better to get it sorted now and not get it all later. Good luck

I would use distraction at this stage rather than saying No and ignoring her - just go straight into steering her away and offering something else.

I do go for distraction in the first instance but she's a bold little person who knows her own mind and isn't easily swayed once she's decided she wants to empty the bin or whatever...

I only ignore her once she's face down on the carpet and screeching, up until then I attempt to divert her - sometimes she just doesn't like being diverted!

cheekeymonkey that's something to cling on to! Hopefully she'll be the same. Actually one of my friends has a lovely just-three yo son who is very chilled out and reasonable now but was permanently cross and red from 10m or so til about 2.5 :)

My dd1 was like this, started before everyone elses....
At 3 hers have also ended before everyone elses...
:)
BUT she now negotiates and pesters instead...

my 15 month old is like this. If you try to distract her by giving her something else to play with she throws it across the room or hits you in the face with it. DD1 was never like this

I think you are doing the right thing already.
My ds started tantruming at 12 months. Not mega ones but throwing himself on floor and wailing. I found ignoring it worked well. Its sometimes a bit embarrassing, he used to do it in shops if I wouldn't let him explore the store room and I'd have to just stand there and ignore him until he got up and then we'd go do something else.
He's 18 months now and although he still has little tantrums from time to time they are less frequent and no worse than they ever were so I think ignoring is probably the right root to go down.

Thanks all, I'm ashamed to say I lolled at "she throws it across the room or hits you in the face with it" as DP was on the receiving end of something similar with a toy rabbit the other day.

I've ordered some insight-into-the-mind-of-a-toddler-type books to try and help me understand what might help her calm down in these sort of situations and will carry on trying to see the funny side :)

I also ordered one about behaving well so your toddler will - me and DP are guilty of acting like we're in the playground a lot of the time, lots of ner-ner type verbal stuff and flicking each other with tea towels etc. We need to set a better example!

Negotiating and pestering sounds like it might be exhausting! I predict DD is going to be relentless at it (DP is a gobshite).

If all else fails my mum is a legend with unruly toddlers (oddly enough there are no tantrums for Nana )