DD is in yr7. Bit of background - she really struggled in the first half term in secondary, didn't want to leave her primary and her friends, but she struggled gamely on and is now happy and settled and doing well. She is in the top set for everything and a really hard worker. HW is normally done the night she gets it or soon after and done well with minimal input from DH and I. She is a perfectionist and hates being given a poor mark or being told off.
This weekend she was at the riding stables all day on saturday helping out and she had an hour long hack too. Then I let her friend stay over afterwards. That was my fault.
Consequence was that by SUnday night she was dog tired - to the point that she was crying over her history hw. I told her I'd help her but she didn't want me to. I told her to leave it and explain to the teacher. She cried even more at that. I managed to persuade her to go to bed but she was trying to carry on in bed. I turned her light off and told her quite sternly to go to sleep. Cue total hysterics and sobbing fit to break her heart. Nothing comforted her and she couldn't sleep.
This took place over about 2 hours. I kept DH tried and failed to calm her and persuade her to go to sleep too.
In the end I told her she could stay at home today and finish her hw then. It was the only thing I could think of to calm her down. DH didn't approve, and I agree it wasn't ideal, but I honestly didn't know what else to do.
I know that long term the solution would be to ensure this combination of events doesn't happen again, but what would you have done instead? And how do I make her more laidback - we are far from pushy parents, in fact DD is a bit of a surprise to us!