2.5 yr old Screaming About Little (Little!) Things--Any Advice?

[HomeDaddy4]

I have been a home dad for 6 months now (started when our son was a bit less than two years old) and it has been really good for most of it. But lately, my son has been starting to srceam, flail his body, pretend to be a tornado, and generally go totally wild anytime I try to change his clothes. Or when I try to get him out of the bath. Or when I try to put his shoes on or ff. Generally, these small things he used to do without any problem at all. I have been remaingin calm, telling him it's what we have to do, and then trying to do it, but he starts screaming, the tears come, and he flails. I have been trying to give him choices, etc., but when his shirt gets soaked and he just can't wear it anymore, WHAT DO I DO?

Thanks for any thougt anyone can offer!

You carry on doing exactly what you were doing very calmly and never let him think the screaming has made a difference. He will eventually get the message and stop bothering. It could take days, weeks or months but do not falter or you will make the whole process longer.

yyy

and stop giving him choices, just say 'it's time to do x' or 'here is breakfast'

he is doing what two year olds do

Agree, it's perfectly normal behaviour for 2 year olds. It's a little person trying to assert themselves and feeling frustrated that they cant have their own way at all times! Stay calm - very important, showing him that strong feelings can be managed. Be firm - if you are saying 'no' about something, DO NOT (on pain of death) give in to the tantrum - that will just show him that screaming and generally creating is the way to get around you - not good! rod for your own back and all that.... For the most part, ignore any screaming etc - don't be tempted to 'reason' with him when he's hysterical - he's too little and too freaked out by this time to listen to explanations. And to be honest, he's too young for explanations, he won't understand what you are saying to him (I'm an SLT by the way). And most of all, NEVER EVER be afraid of saying no - your child needs boundaries, it makes him feel safe, even though it's hard for him to accept at his age. It sounds like you're doing a great job so KEEP GOING!

My DD had a very short-lived screaming for no reason phase. This is how we handled it...
DD2 (aged 2 and a bit) in the kitchen screams for no reason as loud as she can (ears ringing) and laughs
Me: please don't do that- it hurts my ears
DD2 screams again and laughs
Me: No! that's not nice
DD2 screams again, big smile on her face
Me: If you do that again you will go to your room!
DD2 gives it one last scream
Me: I put her in her room (for a couple of minutes)- of course she cries, then calms down, but then understand when I'm serious

This was repeated a couple of times before she got the message that screaming is NOT how we gain attention in our family.

I'm sorry to be basic but I do believe that kids need limits or boundaries. My DD2 is nearly 3 now. She is feisty and funny and adventurous and loud- but she knows when Mummy is serious and I think she feels safe that I make the big rules IYSWIM.

In contrast we have a friend who has a DC2 the same age. My friend is lovely but never says No to her DC. Her DC2 screams randomly for no reason, in public, at other kids, just because, whenever. I can take my DC to restaurants, weddings, social occasions, she can't, EVER! We no longer see her because my DC hate being screamed at by a nearly 3 yr old (as I do) .

You are the parent and you decide if screaming is a tool that should be used for language and communication and negotiation in your house.