Sucking to sleep

[whizzylala]

Am I being mean to try and stop my 1 week old sucking to sleep? He is DC3 and i spent sleepless nights and tears with my others until they found their thumbs at 6 months. I just want to try and stop the cycle this time but am wondering if i am being a bit mean so early on. Do all babies do this or are mine particularly sucky? He is already getting fretful at night if he wakes and isnt sucking but does sometimes fall asleep in the day on his own still. Not giving a dummy and not keen to. I am giving lots of cuddles etc of course to make up for it. Also what are thoughts on swaddling, he seemed to like it begin with but not sure now.....
THANKS.

For a one week old, or any newborn, sucking is a powerful comfort thing - it's developmentally appropriate that a new baby becomes so comforted by this that he falls asleep as a result...I am mystified about why there is supposed to be something wrong with it! It's nice for them - it's not a 'habit' any more than anything else newborns do is a habit.

Most new babies suck themselves to sleep, and often need to suck in order to fall asleep. If you are happy giving cuddles - because you recognise your baby needs that comfort and contact - then why would you not be happy with the sucking???

Because whilst it is fine now, how do you prevent them needing to do it all the time as they get a bit older. ie at 4 months they wake in the night not hungry but needing to suck to get back to sleep, I found this totally exhausting and now have two others to care for during the day so can't just kip. I don't mind him falling asleep after a feed it is the need to suck at other times to get off to sleep I am hoping to prevent, which is a common problem people try and deal with at a later date.

at a week old nothing is set in stone and it never is for the first few months, they change so quickly at this stage, i would let him suck if thats what he needs, its instinctive.

if you dont want baby having a dummy then you could try guiding hands/thumbs to their mouths, my ds4 was sucking his thumb by 8wks so it doesnt take them long to learn (he was tho sucking his thumb in the womb at 20wk scan)

my dd now has a dummy, not all the time and bizarrely she doesnt need it really atnight, just for daytime naps, she is 16wks and re swaddling i swaddle my dd, she def settles better swaddles and really now it is a 'cue' for her to go to sleep and she likes it, tho apparently health visitors dont recomend it now

i think at that age you just have to go with the flow and see what works :)

I let all three of mine suck to sleep althoughi had DD3 in bed with me. Your LO has been in the world one week! Sucking is her world.

Why not give it a few weeks and try a dummy?

Meeting normal needs - to suck to sleep - does not mean these needs will continue. Not meeting these needs does not train the needs to go away - it just causes distress as you have found.

If you go with the flow at the moment, then life is likely to be easier.

He's a week old. Cut him some slack :) :) :)

If there are concerns at four months then you can deal with them then !

oh and i meant to add that current research shows that sucking on a dummy (or i guess a thumb or a breast) whilst sleeping reduces the risk of cot death, babies suck for a reason!! let the little one do it :)

says i who currently has 16wk old dd in a ring sling, who is intermittenly snuggling into me, sucking her dummy or leaning out to have a nose around and give me a big grin whilst i get on with doing the washing up, tidy, mning etc

i really do think they are only little once and you do have to go with the flow and do what works xx

Ok so I am mean! It goes against my instinct I just know what possibly lies ahead now and it was so hard before. What I struggle with is hecfallsxasleep feeding but wakes when out down for the sleep, my nipples are just too sore to keep latching him on again.

I had three under 5 and can totally sympathise with your need for sleep and little chance to catch up. I was also anxious about how I was going yo survive and meet everyone's needs.

In the endi put DD3 in a sling, I co-slept and did everything I could to make life easier. Remember the baby is a person too and you have to make room for their needs too. It's so hard to do but your other two will adjust and all will be fine.

or i did have, she was getting sleepy, you know when their eyes go glassy, so i took her out, swaddled her and put her and her 'snuggly' comforter into the pram and she is now asleep, the trick with her seems to be catching her at the right moment of sleepiness, so she is awake enough to know she is being put down, but that she can see that i am nearby (and hear me i tend to hum to her) andthen she will go off, sometimes with, sometimes without the dummy.

other times not at all and i stick her in a moby wrap and walk about, i think that in the first 4mths sleep is such a constantly changing variable, ie the amount of it they need and what you have to do to get them to sleep. the main thing is to find the easiest thing to do, imo thats what works with least fuss fromthe baby :)

once they get older say 3mths i think you can start trying to establish more of a wind down bedtime routine, but really up till then i would just go with it and make sure you rest as much as you can (hard i know with other children)

but my ds4 is currently napping, the baby is now asleep and dp has taken the elder three to the park, so i am going to follow my own advice and have a little sleep (have a chest infection)

btw i understand your worries about nto wanting baby to suck to sleep all the time, my first three would only ever sleep at the breast and it was exhausting but they do grow out of it, maybe with a little help along with way, but i dont think you need worry about it at such a young age :)

Do you have help at the moment? Can you go yo bed and get bf established? You need to rest while you can.

If it helps,I and friends found feeding the third one really difficult. We all think it is because little time yo rest. Also we realised we had high expectations of what we and the baby could do.
It's been a week! Give yourself a break.