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Worried - dd not making friends

3 replies

TimeforChocolate · 02/04/2011 12:55

Hope I'm getting this right, not posted before (apologies in advance if I'm in the wrong bit..)

Really struggling to know what to do. Got a dd in Year 5, age at which the friendship groups in her class seem to have settled into regular patterns, and she's not part of any of them.

There's nothing which counts as serious enough for me to have anything to speak to teachers about, just that she's told she can't join in with playtime games, doesn't get invited to any houses, parties etc, and sometimes comes home pretty upset about it all.

We've done the obvious and invited people here, but there's only so many times you can do that without a return invitation, before realising that it's not really working out. She tends to play with younger kids at playtime, and lots of them seek her out when we're walking to school etc. I think this is a good thing, but still leaves her a bit of a loner in class, and worrying when she moves up to secondary school and there's no younger kids around!

I'm not quite sure what she's doing to put other people off, or how to try and help her fit in without making her feel worse. Getting stressed!

Anyone have any words of advice? Would be much appreciated.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ragged · 02/04/2011 13:54

A lot will change when she goes to secondary; massive shake out. The big cheeses become nobodies & the wallflowers come into their own. Best mates since reception stop even talking to each other and new "best friends for life" get found.

At least, that's what everyone else tells me.
It might help if she does clubs outside of school, although probably not going to make friends there, but just as a social outlet while she's there.
I'd just grit my teeth and wait until she goes to HS.

Eveiebaby · 02/04/2011 20:19

Maybe as ragged suggested some clubs inside or outside of school. This might boost her confidence and give her more practice with friendships. Does she have anything she is particularly interested in?

TimeforChocolate · 02/04/2011 20:37

Thanks for the suggestions.

Hoping you're right about the new start at high school.. and in the meantime will persevere with finding out of school stuff.

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