15 week old randomly waking in night but doesn't need feeding

[babyworries]

Hi

I?m hoping you can help or reassure us that we are doing the right thing.

Our baby is 15 weeks old and 7.2 kilos. She is on a pretty good routine during the day ? but is still waking randomly in the night. She feeds pretty much every 3 hours (but can go longer if she has a longer nap) and sleeps every 2 hours during the day ? either 4 x 45 minute naps a day or most days now we can manage to get her back down for one of her naps and make her sleep an hour and a half She is a very content baby and we can set our watches by her needs to feed and sleep.

Her bed time routine is 6pm bath and asleep between 6.30 and 7pm. We dream-feed her around 10.45 pm and then hope that she will sleep through till 6/7 the next morning.

She is breast fed and has 1 bottle of formula at her bedtime routine (usually takes about 180 mls) and then a bottle of expressed milk at the dream feed (usually takes about 220 mls)

She used to wake around 4.30/5 for a feed and then go back to sleep till 7am ? but the last 5 or 6 weeks her waking in the night has been totally random ? from waking at 1am with several more wakes till 5.30 (rarely can go longer than 5.30 am before a feed). I did get into breast feeding her on and off during these earlier wake times thinking she must be hungry but realised a few weeks ago that she wasn?t and would be suckling or taking small amounts each time I picked her up. This was also exhausting me so we are now trying something different.

We are both not working at the moment so my husband has taken over sleeping in the room with her during the night so I can get a good night?s sleep. We have done 4 nights now where he rocks her back to sleep or the last couple of nights just lets her cry (which is now only a minute or 2 before she settles herself again) but she can wake every hour on the hour from say 2 till 5 or last night she woke at 4 and then every half hour onwards. He is bringing her in to me to feed as late as possible ? earliest so far is 5 and latest 6. If she comes in at 5ish I feed her (she has a 20 minute feed from 1 breast so she?s not starving) and then goes back to sleep with me until 6.30ish depending on what time she came in.

My question really is ? is this going to work and how long should we keep it up as every night seems so different. Also not sure how long my husband can keep doing this for?

She might have a growth spurt, their appetite is not static. Some days I eat more then others, sometimes my appetite increases. She sounds like an excellent sleeper and I think your asking a lot of a 15 week old baby. I wouldn't advice CIO on a baby this age, if she needs to feed she needs to feed. You can't spoil her even if she wants comfort.
I think your dh should have a bottle in the room.

Also would not let them cry at this age, think its only advised from 6 months? They are not developed enough to know you are still there I think.

Yes appetite changes a lot (growth spurts, illness you might not be able to see) so don't be sure you know she isn't hungry. And comfort is just as much a real need for such a tiny baby as food.

Of course you need some sleep but I'd just feed her if she doesn't go back to sleep with rocking. Just my personal view, you have to do what you are happy with.

my ds is 14m. The other night he wouldn't settle even with bf. I brought him down stairs and he made his way to the kitchen...and pointed at the bread bin. He then ate a slice and a half of heavy homemade, wholemeal, ie very filling, bread and butter and loads of grapes.

Even at his age not being hungry one night doesn't mean he isn't hungry the next. No doubt the same is true of your dd, 15wk is still very very young.

Personally i would feed her. We co sleep so i can feed ds with barely waking! He'll grow out of it one day and at the moment this is the way we all get the most sleep, so i'm happy.

Hmm, I'm not so sure. We have a 16wo who sounds almost identical in terms of daytime food and naps, and he can wake anything between once and 4 times at night. Last night was 4, the night before he woke just once at 2am to feed. How quickly does he settle back with your partner? A hungry baby won't go back to sleep without a struggle surely. If he settles back quickly I'd say its more likely to be wind, a big sneeze or something completely random. Sometimes there seems to be no reason at all. Obviously if he screams and won't settle try feeding - but at that size I wouldn't rush to it every time he wakes, especially if you know he can go much longer. Just my experience anyway.

Sounds like the 4 month growth spurt. I'd feed her. If it is the growth spurt she'll likely stop of her own accord.

Your baby sounds like an amazing sleeper, even with the current wakings. I'll not go into what mine was like at that age.

I'd feed her - CIO is way too early at 15 weeks. She may not actually be hungry, she's stimulating your milk production for her big growth spurt in a week or so. If you don't respond, she won't have enough milk when she needs it.

Hi

We are not using CIO - I agree she's too young. We are just letting her settle herself which usually means she cries for a little bit - no more than a minute or 2 and then goes back to sleep - sometimes for 2 or 3 hours more. All the books say to not go straight to picking up and feeding as you might be surprised that they can settle themselves back to sleep, which she does. Also they all say that at over 5 kilos (which she is well over) then physiologically she is fine to sleep through the night. I've tried feeding here at these random times but like I say she doesn't eat much and is just in (mostly in) and out of our bed all night, which isn't great. I've loads of milk right now - more than she needs so my milk supply isn't an issue.

Wow, did you read that bit of the book to her? So she knows she's physiologically able to sleep through, because she might have missed that bit.
maybe she wants comfort?
maybe she's due a growth spurt?
maybe she hasn't read the same books as you have so is only going on what her own body is telling her?

why do people have to be so aggressive - maybe you should grow up. Like everyone else I'm just trying to muddle through - and work out good sleep habits for my little one. If you don't have anything constructive to say why bother posting - maybe you have quite a sad life to want to be so negative to other people who are just asking for support.

I have to laugh at the idea that getting to 5kgs means they don't need night feeds Maybe once they're over 6 months and eating 3 meals a day, but at 15 weeks it's pretty ambitious especially in a breastfed baby.

In my experience between 4-6 months they need feeding more frequently as they are bigger and need more milk to sustain them. My ds was sleeping 8 hours a night from 2-4 months, but needed at least 2 feeds a night from 4-6 months and 1 feed a night from 6-8 months.

There is a big growth spurt/sleep regression around 4 months, so you're probably hitting that - lots of babies sleep goes haywire, they're making big developmental leaps in the day and all that brain activity effects them. If co-sleeping gets you all more sleep for the moment then I'd do that personally.

there are no easy answers, agree with you about aggression baby worries, but try not to get too tied up in routines, its normal for babies at this age to forget how to sleep through, my latest addition has just been through it, feed her she needs it, also is your room dark enough for her, this little one has to sleep in the dark with no covers? seriously? growbag and blankets were combining to keep him awake, it will pass, if it helps ds 1 and 2 were not great sleepers til they hit the eighteen month markxxx youb are doing a great job

I think the thing is babyworries, that being able to do something, ie sleep through, one night or even for several months, doesnt mean that the lo is ready to do that all the time.

My friends lo slept through from a couple of weeks, but hit the four month growth spurt/sleep regression and woke up, needing a feed,for many months after.

Babies change so much, and not always moving in the same direction...darn it!

And that's why lots of people take issue with the idea that a book says "babies do x"...because they don't! Ok a few randomly do, their parents write a book about it, and the rest of us get to feel bad that our lo won't do what they are "supposed to" and therefore we are bad parents.

We just don't need to be made to feel that way (not when we can just come on mn and get attacked by mothernight eh?)

There are lots of things babies have to learn that are not things we can teach them, imo sleep is one of them. It just takes patience (and matchsticks to prop your eyes open during the day)

Is your lo in the same room as you? At this age they don't know that you are coming back if you are not there. Imo for that reason it's important to reassure them...even a hand through the bars of a cot or a shhh. Eventually they realise you are always there from them and will be able to relax. You can't spoil a baby at this age.

Try not to let peoples attitudes get to you. It's easy, once you gain confidance, to forget that once we all had doubts and uncertainties. I held opinions on babies and parenting when ds was born that are a million miles away from those i hold now. We all learn by experience and hopefuly by listening to the experiences of others. Not by being shouted at...

Ramble over