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Original poster

screaming baby - what I am doing wrong?

41 replies

MacMomo · 01/04/2011 21:56

13 week old dd (born 11 days early); EBF and co-sleeping. Started sleeping 7-8 hrs at around 7 weeks old (7 pm - 2 am) without any trouble. She had colic for a couple of weeks, which upset her. She has silent reflux, but it never seems to bother her much.

About 8 nights ago, she started screaming at bed time. Around the same time, she started getting fussy and refusing the breast. We thought it was a nursing strike, but she does feed happily quite often (though only small feeds during the day). She has also stopped napping during the day almost completely.

We still think it might be reflux, but the symptoms are not consistent.

She started off refusing her bedtime feed, but the last few nights she has taken an expressed bottle without too much fussing. However, afterwards she screams and screams and is completely inconsolable. She latches and feeds for comfort, but ... before she was refusing to go near the breast or the bottle. Tonight she had 5oz of milk (with Gaviscon) relatively happily, then screamed for 20 mins. She only calmed down after latching and taking another small feed, then passed out. An hour later she was screaming again, and again latched and took another big feed. This is a lot more milk than she ever had before. And again, sometimes when she screams, she refuses the breast.

Can someone talk me through what might be the problem? I am so distressed by hearing her so upset and not being able to comfort her. Sorry this post is so long, I am beside myself with not knowing what to do for her.

(I took her to the dr who confirmed normal temperature, ears, throat, breathing).

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thisisyesterday · 01/04/2011 21:59

:( i don't think you're doing anything wrong.
it's horrible when they cry and nothing helps.

i wonder if it is the reflux and it's kicking in when she is laid flat??

Albrecht · 01/04/2011 22:05

Oh my, I do sympathise. Its awful when you don't know what to do for them.

Could be the reflux - do you keep her upright after a feed?

Or could be overtired - do you try and encourage naps? We found dancing like an loon with baby in a sling works most of the time with our very reluctant napper.

ds screamed a lot (I don't mean crying, I mean screaming so you think your face is going to melt) and it seems to just be his way Confused. Getting a referal to a paed and discussing with lots of breastfeeding counsellors reasured us that it wasn't physical pain, which was something.

Original poster
MacMomo · 01/04/2011 22:11

Well it could be but she is happy on her back for lots of the day. She also seems to swallow the reflux without making a noise and isn't fazed by hiccups and possetting. But like you say, it could be the reflux so I'm giving her gaviscon and keeping her upright for 15-20 mins after the feed.

I should also say - I'm swaddling her as she has crazy waving arms and her hands torment her face constantly. But she hates being swaddled. So tonight I didn't swaddle her but she has woken herself up 5 times in 2 hrs and it must be because she isn't swaddled.

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Original poster
MacMomo · 01/04/2011 22:13

Yes, we try and get her to nap after no more than 2 hrs including swaddling and taking her to bed, drawing the curtains and having quiet background noise. She will feed to sleep for about 30-40 mins max. She used to sleep in the car and sling, but no longer.

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Albrecht · 01/04/2011 22:58

(Hi again - sorry I never look at posters names!)

Sounds very similar to ds re the swaddling, car etc. I have to say we are just muddling through with him. Have you heard of Dr Sears ideas about Fussy / High Needs babies here

allyfe · 02/04/2011 02:23

Sounds very much like silent reflux. Why do you say symptoms aren't consistent? My daughter had it really badly and would be okay after a feed and then 45 minutes later would be in the worst pain. We often had to hold her uprigt for 1.5 hours after. That didn't stop the pain but it did lessen it considerably. She also slept through at about 7 weeks till 9, but didn't again for months. Reflux gets worse until about 5 months when the volume of milk consumption is at It's worst. With my second, the posture change test (e.g. hold them upright until they settle and then try try holding them vertically in your arms to see how long before they cry) was nowhere near as clear but he was uncomfortable during and right after a feed more than my daughter. His silent reflux isn't as bad as my daughters.

A long post to say go to the doctors because it sounds like you need something stronger than just the gaviscon.

allyfe · 02/04/2011 02:31

OH and my daughter was also happy oo her back for lots of the day. The acid is worst at certain times of day so her response is not going to be the same. ANd whilst she may feed for comfort, the extra milk will ultimately make it worse because more acid will be produced.
Saying all that, I hope for your sake and hers it is something other than silent reflux!

KickArseQueen · 02/04/2011 02:35

Hiya, don't know whether this may be useful or not, all 4 of mine went through a phase that sounds similar, I found it helped to wind part way through the feed.

Straight after the 1st let down if you are b/feeding or about a quarter of the bottle.

I'm sure they were gulping air in at the start of the feeds and if I waited till the end before winding I couldn't get it out! If I winded part way I could get it and they then finished the feed and were more settled.

If that doesn't work then go back to the docs - agree with allyfe you may need something stronger. Good luck, hope all is well!

ilovemountains · 02/04/2011 04:05

If she has stopped napping during the day at 16 weeks she could simply be massively over tired. Babies at that age need far more sleep during the day. Waking up after 45 mins is also relatively common in babies who are struggling to nap, as they frequently go into a different sleep cycle then.

ilovemountains · 02/04/2011 04:10

Sorry, just realised baby is 13 weeks, not 16 weeks. Overtiredness can cause babies to stop feeding and then feed loads. They can get so tired they don't know what they want.

hillee · 02/04/2011 04:54

OP don't know if it helps, but my DD was diagnosed with reflux at around 12 weeks. The paed told me that with some babies it tends to appear at around this age. And it did seem to be much worse at the 2pm feed and then around 6.30pm - no idea why. The Dr put her straight onto omiprezole (sorry for the spelling), and it really sorted things out. As with most refluxy babies, once she could sit up and started solids, things got much better.

GotArt · 02/04/2011 05:14

Could be overtiredness but if she's already been through a bit of reflux, maybe just take her back in to have her checked... can't hurt. I say overtired because at 13 weeks, she most definitely should be napping. When DD couldn't/wouldn't sleep, I would plop her in the stroller and go for a walk, or in the car or just turn on a load of laundry and sit on the washer with a book to read out loud. I also got a sling for through the day because she just wouldn't lay down by herself (there was some external factors going on too with noisy uncle living upstairs) but would sleep for an hour or more while I puttered about vacuuming. It was tiring, but we got through it.

I bookmarked that Dr. Sears article because the first paragraph just sounded so familiar!

PenguinArmy · 02/04/2011 05:29

Have you tried eliminating dairy or other food stuffs from your diet?

Gem2981 · 02/04/2011 08:32

Hi symptons sound similar to my 12 week old who has Colic and silent reflux, tried all the usual items but eneded up getting referred to a specialist, they prescribed ranitidine, first 1mg, then 2mg but wasnt making a difference then it was upped to 3mg, we were using aptamil 1st but then changed to aptamil comfort and that combined with the 3mg ranitidine is now like having a totally different baby!

Original poster
MacMomo · 02/04/2011 10:36

Thanks for the help, reflux seems to be the consensus. She was such an easy baby for the first few months! She is still quite happy to be left alone for periods of time, and held by others. She doesn't peep during doctor's examinations, or osteopath massage (she was refusing to turn her head to one side ever, now fixed) so I don't think she is fussy by nature, and she seems to swallow down the reflux silently so much of the time.

Yes, I came off dairy for 3 weeks when I detected the reflux at 6 / 7 weeks but just seemed to have grown out of it. Have today stopped it again and also cut caffeine.

So now I just need to convince the dr. He knows nothing about bf or reflux, so that's going to be hard work. He is familiar with domperidone for lactation (bf constant made him prescribe it for my friend). What medication should I expect him to prescribe?

OP posts:
allyfe · 02/04/2011 13:38

Ranitadine in the first instance. IT can take a while to work so try for a week or so. Good luck.

Original poster
MacMomo · 03/04/2011 20:58

allyfe thanks - can you explain the vertical reaction test you mentioned in your earlier post?

Also - what is the difference between ranitidine and omeprazole?

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MapofTassie · 04/04/2011 06:19

This is a very good website dealing with all things reflux.
Have a read of it and go armed with lots of info to the GP.

Original poster
MacMomo · 04/04/2011 20:46

Saw the dr today who advised that we up the Gaviscon intake. When I said dd was so constipated as a result of the Gaviscon already taken daily (3 times at the moment) that she was now crying with passing wind, he said she wasn't constipated. I said that I couldn't give gaviscon 6 times a day as she screams at the syringe and refuses to take it. He said give her bottles - all her feeds in bottles. When I tried to explain about how that would impact on breast feeding he just looked blank (his own 7 mo wasn't bf). I asked for Ranitidine and he said he was nervous to prescribe it for an infant but looked it up in his book and decided it was ok. I am a bit frustrated - Ranitidine might not be the answer but sure he should some clue? I felt like I had gone to Tesco and bought cough medicine.

Oh well, at least I got the prescription, will collect tomorrow. Interestingly, and perhaps connected - she came out in a hideous rash across face, scalp and neck over the weekend which is turning into eczema. I wonder if there is an allergy in this whole thing after all. Have come off all milk protein and caffeine just in case.

Thanks everyone for your help, advice and links to resources.

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Original poster
MacMomo · 04/04/2011 21:55

I should also add: the un-constipated baby then spent an afternoon crying while passing a giant poo.

And also - dr said to give her orange juice. Is that a treatment for reflux?

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ponjii · 04/04/2011 22:07

Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. I don't have any experience of reflux but by dd1 frequently refused the breast when she was overtired and my ds has just got over a nursing strike at 9 months. I know that yours is probably reflux related but just wanted to say that when my two refused the breast, I used to wait until they were asleep (usually after screaming to sleep as they refused to feed - horrible), then pick them up and put them on the breast. They would then often take a really good feed and stay asleep. Might be worth a try next time your dd refuses to feed.

TeddyMcardle · 04/04/2011 22:15

I had this with ds, he was 6 weeks prem and had colic and silent reflux.
Have you tried infacol? Gripe water?
Ds was constipated and in the end it was movicol that solved it but only a doctor can diagnose.
IT IS NOT YOU! You are doing a great job. You can try a sling or a walk in the pram during the day to get them to nap, it really will work. I walked for miles each day to get ds to sleep but when he was over tired it was all that worked for us.
A baby bouncer on vibrate is good. White noise can help, shushing in their ear is effective.
Tigger hold which is facing them away from you with your arm around their chest and the other holding beneath. Up and down stairs another one that helped us. Rhythmic patting on back and talking in a low voice.

If all else fails then putting them down and going outside got me through it.

Albrecht · 04/04/2011 22:56

Ahhhh bloody doctors!
Right the orange juice is for constipation. Not sure if it works but I know it has to be fresh, not from concentrate.

Had the same problems with ds screaming at the syringe, told we should bottle feed, blah blah (only ever got him to take a tiny bit of Gaviscon and yes it did make him constipated). Got refered to a paed as really didn't feel the doctors knew much about reflux and weren't convinced thats what his problem was - she agreed with us that it was unlikely. I'd recommend seeing a specialist if you aren't happy. Took a few weeks though.

deedee321 · 06/04/2011 18:44

So sorry to hear this MacMomo, doctor sounds clueless, my friend who is a paed consultant says gps really are hugely hit and miss with infants as they require specialist knowledge to diagnose and help a lot of infant conditions.

No advice to give, but can imagine must all be quite emotional and stressful seeing her in that state. Hope she gets some relief soon.

Original poster
MacMomo · 06/04/2011 21:03

Thanks deedee I don't know what I'd do without this website; a bit of sympathy and support goes such a long way :)

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