v clingy 6 month old - will she just grow out of it???

[jellybelly75]

My DD2 is nearly 6 months and is v v v clingy to me. She is ok with DH most of the time, but sometimes even screams if I hand her over to him. But as for trying to leave her with anyone else, or even if anyone else attempts to pick her up (or even talk to her!) she goes ballistic :( Maybe its my fault for not really having left her with anyone up until now, but as I am EBF (she wont take a bottle), I havent really been able to leave her for any length of time.

Its worrying me that she is soooo clingy. Even with my mum and dad, close friends that she regularly sees, she just screams if I attempt to leave her.

Will she just grow out of it? My other two were nowhere near this clingy, but maybe the fact they would take bottles and didnt rely on me for every feed did help? I dont know if DD2 may get better when I stop BF her?

A close friend (who had the "pleasure" of looking after a screaming DD2 for 45 mins this morning while I popped out to see Mothers Day assembly :)), said she would be happy for me to leave her again with her and suggested we should maybe do it on a regular basis to get DD2 used to being left. I just feel awful (for both of them!) leaving her screaming :(

Anyone got any tips? Is it just a phase or should I try and do something about it now to stop her getting worse??

Many thanks
xx

i think gradually getting her used to it is the way forward. your friend's offer sounds great. try just leaving thev room for a minute and then coming back in cheerfully and sitting nearby but not picking her up from your friend. act very relaxed. then increase length of time etc. she will watch you to see if everything is ok; dont mirror her fear. it sounds pretty normal to me but like you say, you need her to develop confidence around others by some gentle encouragement.

Does she cry when you leave the room? If so, it might just be separation anxiety stage. Mine started with it at about 6 months too but she's already better a few weeks on. Try playing peek a boo with a towel (you hide your face behind it, then peek out and say hello and/or put a face cloth in front of her face, then remove the face cloth and say hello). This helps them understand that you are there even when they can't see you. Also, always use the same words ("Bye bye", or "See you soon" or whatever) whenever you leave the room then say hello or whatever greeting you usually use when you come back in - this helps them learn that will be coming back when you leave the room, whether it's 5 minutes or an hour later. I was worried my LO would cry when left at a local council pool creche but she never does now - she did only on a couple of occasions and even then, only for a minute or two and was easily distracted by toys and other babies once I'd gone. It's quite unusual for them to actually cry for very long once you are gone from sight, as long as they are being distracted and played with by someone else. I'd suggest always using the same trusted babysitter/s so that your baby doesn't feel insecure and can get to know them, so that, given time, it will become much better. If you make sure baby is fed and happy before you go out, then you can be safe in the knowledge that they are actually fine, not hungry etc, even if they do cry as you leave, so don't feel guilty! You can also help make baby feel more secure by having the babysitter in your home as opposed to taking baby to someone else's house, so baby's in familiar surroundings. If that's not always possible, try taking along a familiar toy, blanket or other item.

Forgot to say, it means your DD2 really really loves you, and that you have built a really strong bond with her, which is wonderful - even though it may not seem like it at the moment!

So glad you posted this, I am in exactly the same situation! I dont know if it maybe has something to do with DS starting teething too, he wants to be cuddled and carried round 24 hours a day. He will not go to sleep in his own bed anymore, nor does he stay asleep if I put him down. He is okay with DH most of the time, so long as I'm not there. If I am there, he screams until DH passes him over to me.

Thanks for your replies :)

gourd - thats really sweet of you to say that it means DD2 really really loves me :) It does make me feel like I am doing something right if she cant stand to be away from me , but it would just be nice if I could hand her over sometimes and have a break, and also I wish I didnt have to keep apologising to everyone that she cries at if they dare to speak to her :(

allsquare - sorry to hear that you are having similar problems with your DS :( But it is good to know that it must be a common thing for them to go through at this age. Fortunately we havent had any problems with sleeping yet (touches wood), but we had a similar thing with the highchair today where she just screamed if we tried to feed her in it, and would only eat her lunch and tea sitting on my lap. I really hope its a passing phase, its really starting to wear me down. Today was particulary bad as we had my parents and DH's parents round and DD2 was not happy to see any of them, she wore herself out crying so much that she had to have a late afternoon nap :( Fortunately she was a bit happier after her nap, and by bath/bed time she was full of smiles for me and DH (but only when no one else was around to see it - little monkey!!)

xx