4 Year old boy

[hedwig06]

I wondered if someone could give me their opinion on my DS.

He is 4, goes to nursery full-time, (state).

He has already been classed as gifted & talented. He is the youngest of 4.

BUT he is very very hyperactive and naughty??? I have been called into nursery a few times, due to his behaviour, he won't stand anyone taking a toy off him, he scratched another boys face for trying to do this and made him cry, he pushes and shoves, he runs EVERYWHERE, even his group teacher constantly says slow down, for everything, he's constantly falling over, tripping over, bumping himself, but he still won't slow down, a regular thing is for him to bump his head on doors as he rushes out, without opening them fully.

Another problem is his eating - he doesn't :-(

I was called into nursery Tuesday to say they had found him throwing his lunch on the floor under the table, and he admitted to his teacher he had been doing it for a while, so they have been praising him for eating his lunch, while in reality he has been throwing it under the table.

Today while we were waiting for nursery to open there is a small porch, where you can stand, and while we were standing there he and another boy told a third boy to put his hand into the letter box, and then my DS & his friend pushed it down on the 3rd little boys fingers until he cried and had big dents on his hand.

I didn't know where to look, I just told him off quietly and after getting into nursery went round to the hurt boys mum and apologised and made sure his hand was ok before slinking off home feeling like c**p.

Can I point out I am friends with all these boys mum, and she hardly spoke to me after this incident

I will point out he regularly hits and pushes me.

I am so exhausted all the time with him, he has been assessed for behavioural problems, and been found fine, just very bright, aged 1.5-2.

He has always been difficult, I am waiting for the time, he gives up and just starts acting normal and cutting me some slack, there is always something going on with him :-(

Thanks for reading all this.

hello there
i wish there was something apart from a little solidarity to offer.
my little fella is nearly 4 and also very bright. He is going through a horrible stage at the moment and i am totally lost.

what strategies do you have for punishment? I can't imagine how hard it must be to have 4. i have a 5 month old DD and when my DS is not asking me to play with him he will move in on her like a magnet and hurt her fingers. I know he is attention seeking but the feelings i have towards him when he does it really scare me.

have you tried giving him lots of mummy time? I find that when i make a real effort to spend time with just my DS and leave the baby with her dad his behavior improves for the rest of the day.

Its the defiance i can't cope with. What can we do? what punishments work.
I have no idea....
sorry i can't be of any help - i am going to search the posts for tips and if i find anything i will let you know
x

I think you need to ask for him to be re assessed. The nursery appear to have concerns re his behaviour as well. He sounds very like my son who is very bright and has ADHD.

It may just be that as the youngest of 4 he struggles to get the attention he needs - and bright children do seem to demand more attention. I assume he is in full time nursery as you work full time. Other parents won't be happy for him to play with him if he continues to behave in this way. It would be best to try and sort it out before he goes to school.

Generally I find punishments are not very effective. Rewarding good behaviour with attention/stickers works for me. If he hurts another child then they should get the attention.

Lallp,

Thanks for replying, you hit the nail on the head with the word DEFIANCE - lol
Everything, and I really mean everything is a battle, from when he gets up to when he goes to bed, he does the complete opposite to what he should do. I do try to spend time with him on his own, but to be honest he doesn't want to, he'd rather be with his big brother who's 8, and his dad when he gets home, so I'm fighting a battle straight away for his attention.

Jubille10,

Thanks for replying as well, I have thought about another trip to the dr's but, I'm not sure that he is showing many signs to be honest, but its another thought and all thoughts and comments are welcome :-)

Angi x