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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DS2 has dropped his nap and nursery keep complaining to me that he is getting tired late on in the day - what do I do??

17 replies

ceebeegeebies · 31/03/2011 21:11

DS2 is 2.4 and we stopped his nap about 3 weeks ago because, whilst he was going to bed ok, he was getting up consistently at 5am and was wide awake.

I was clinging on to his nap (for the bit of peace and quiet it gave us) but even I had to draw the line at the 5am wakings so we stopped it.

He has been relatively ok without it although he does occasionally fall asleep on the sofa at teatime-ish (which I guess is normal).

Anyway, for the last few days, nursery have told me that he has fallen asleep whilst playing around 3pm-ish so they have let him have 15 minutes and then woken him up - which I am ok with as it doesn't seem to have affected his bedtime/wake-up times. Today, when I went to collect him, one of the senior staff said 'oh you have got a very tired and grumpy little boy today'.

Maybe I am paranoid but I feel they want me to say 'ok, let him have a nap after lunch again' by dropping hints etc. It is making me question whether he was ready to drop his nap (I am fairly certain he was and tbh we don't really have that much problem with tiredness when he is at home).

Do I just keep brazening it out? I don't know what they want from me??

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Original poster

ceebeegeebies · 31/03/2011 21:26

Bump - anyone?

OP posts:

evolucy7 · 31/03/2011 21:36

When does he go to Nursery? All day everyday?

Original poster

ceebeegeebies · 31/03/2011 21:37

He goes 4 (consecutive) days a week from 8-5.30ish.

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bringinghomethebacon · 31/03/2011 21:38

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Original poster

ceebeegeebies · 31/03/2011 21:40

Yes, I guess that might be an option but I think he would get very confused at nursery - they take them off to another room for their naps and the first few days he didn't go, nursery said he got upset (he is very obsessed with routine and hates change) so I think doing it every other day would just confuse/upset him more.

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evolucy7 · 31/03/2011 21:41

If 15 mins is ok, can he not be encouraged to just have that after lunch and ask them to wake him? A short nap might be enough for him not to be tired later?

Tgger · 31/03/2011 21:42

I would let him have a short nap at nursery- 30/45 mins/an hour, whatever you feel happy with and see if this makes a difference.

My DD is the same age and I'd much prefer it if she still napped- she naps at nursery which she goes to on Monday and Tues and then won't nap Wed-Friday at home and then if we're lucky she'll nap at the weekend. She gets increasingly tired and grumpy as the week goes on and generally screams at 4.30pm- she is much better with a nap .

It's quite a hard stage isn't it and nothing is perfect, but I think there is a medium ground between napping and not napping, they can nap some days and not others and this can make a difference. Didn't have the waking up problem, altho she had got a bit earlier (6.00 or 6.30 rather than 7).

Hope you find a happy medium.

Original poster

ceebeegeebies · 31/03/2011 21:45

Tgger we had already asked nursery to reduce his nap to no more than an hour but it didn't make any difference to his early wakings and the staff just moaned at me cos he was grumpy when he woke up

I don't remember it being this difficult with DS1....but, then again, he has a totally different personality and nothing ever phases him!!

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RitaMorgan · 31/03/2011 21:46

Having worked in nurseries, I have to admit it's horrible when parents insist we limit naps. No one likes having to wake a sleeping child, or stop a child from napping - Ofsted also take the view that it isn't in a child's interests to prevent them from sleeping, so it's a controversial point!

Has stopping him napping fixed the early mornings?

bringinghomethebacon · 31/03/2011 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

ceebeegeebies · 31/03/2011 21:49

Rita I have heard that before about nurseries but I have been using this nursery for years now and asked them to do it for DS1 and now DS2 and they have never said that they couldn't wake them up etc.

And yes, it has solved the early wakings - it is now anytime between 6.30 and 7 which is much more manageable

OP posts:

Tgger · 31/03/2011 21:52

Oh dear, feel for you, but it is pretty normal I think.

My DD can often be in a foul mood when she wakes from her nap even when she wakes by herself after 90 minutes or 2 hours. You do then wonder if it was worth it!

Did quitting the nap get the waking up much better then? Think you prob have to brazen it out- or could you try nap at nursery as long as he likes and no nap at home? It's much more tiring at nursery than home.

monkoray · 31/03/2011 22:06

i'm a bit confused. Why does any nap at nursery have to be after lunch? Is that just what nurseries do?
It occurs to me that if your DS is getting tired in the later afternoon wouldn't it be better for the nursery to give him a short nap as and when he needs one in the afternoon if he gets tired. That way he breaks the habit of an after lunch nap and will probably quite quickly break any afternoon napping to.

My DS only started nursery this week so i'm not clued up on nursery etiquette. The one DS goes to said he could nap when ever he needed to so i am surprised that the nursery in question seems to be less flexible.

RitaMorgan · 31/03/2011 22:22

monkoray - most nurseries don't have the space for older children to nap whenever as they don't have individual cots, they all sleep on mats on the floor after lunch. A child who wants to nap late afternoon probably wouldn't have anywhere to go but the corner of the room and it can be difficult if the children are being taken outside or have a specific activity planned.

jubilee10 · 01/04/2011 12:38

I would brazen it out if I were you. This phase will soon pass. My Ds3's nursery were letting him nap in the late afternoon when he was 4. I couldn't get him to bed and he was waking in the night. I asked them to stop and got all sorts of excuses however they seem to be managing it!

Original poster

ceebeegeebies · 01/04/2011 15:21

Monkoray I guess all nurseries are different and, at the nursery in question, they have always let under-1's sleep as and when but the expectation is that once they turn 1, they are gently guided into a routine of napping after lunch. I fully understand this as it makes it much easier for them to deal with and have always been quite happy with that.

I have now tentatively agreed with a 15-minute power nap if he looks like he needs it but then have to put up with them moaning that he has been grumpy since they woke him up - can't win can I?

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Mishy1234 · 01/04/2011 16:58

He may well be more tired on his nursery days than when he's at home. DS1 (3.2) still has a nap at nursery (2 days), but doesn't when he's at home with me. I would reinstate the nap on nursery days and say no longer than 1 hour and no later than 2-2:30?

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