2.9 yo tantrums at bedtime - help!

[sasamaxx]

Would love some advice on this if anyone has any.
My 2.9yo has started crying at bedtime. She always went to bed perfectly before, has had the same routine for ages etc. Now, all of a sudden, she cries and cries - we are in and out about a million times between bedtime (7pm) and 9 or 10pm. It is an absolute mystery why she is doing this. She says she wants the door open, door closed, door open wider or that her bed 'spat at her' - any excuse at all and nothing calms her down. When we speak to her about it during the day, she says she 'wants to cry' in her bed or she 'likes' crying. We are totally at our wit's end - poor DS (5) has to try to sleep through it every night - poor wee guy must really struggle with it .
She also wakes up about 3 times during the night with various complaints.

Does anyone have any idea why she is suddenly behaving like this - we really want to get our nights back on track as another DC is due in a few weeks.

Does she still sleep in the day?

She does sometimes - not every day but will sometimes drop off in the afternoon. Even on the days she doesn't have a nap, the bedtime situation is the same .
I'm worried about how much sleep she's getting as she used to sleep 7-7 without fail, and now it can be 10-7 with several wakenings.

I think you need to look at changing the routine, doing something different at night to change the pattern of behaviour. She is probably picking up on your eagerness to get her to sleep because of th bump and is looking for reassurance.

I would say go for a 8 pm bedtime.

Ah right - maybe. Actually I probably have been acting a bit anxious about it all which won't be helping. Will try to think of some routine changes then to see if she forgets to create as a result - thanks!

Hi. We went through/are going through something very similar with DD (2.8). In particular she would drive us mad with the door 'No, NOT like that' and also started waking in the middle of the night, getting up and then refusing to get back into bed - it would take absolutely ages to sort her out. She would also say she liked crying in bed when we tried to talk about it. I think she actually liked the attention and the behaviour was sparked by the arrival of a baby sister, and also the move from cot to bed - unfortunately these 2 things happened around the same time.

Things have improved now, and I'm trying to think what exactly made the difference... we didn't fundamentally change her routine, but I think it was moving her to a different 'big girl' bedroom that began the change. The door is no longer mentioned and the middle of the night stuff is massively reduced, though still happens occasionally.

Not sure whether that helps, but I really wanted to say I know how you feel. I found it incredibly stressful, especially when we were exhausted with a new baby too. Hope you manage to sort things out.

Thanks upsoearly - that does give me hope.
It's so bizarre - I think it could be about the attention - particularly as she knows a new baby is on the way. Unfortunately, there isn't another bedroom she can move to - wondering if moving her room around a bit might help.
Thanks

DD, 2.8, has been doing this on and off since her move to a big bed at Christmas. We'll have a fortnight of no trouble then 3 or 4 days of awfulness. She has just gone off to sleep now tonight!

Penelope Leach says that new odd extended bedtime rituals or rules can be because the child feels a bit pushed to grow up too soon and needs a bit of babying.

DD is usually better on days when she doesn't have a nap but it isn't always the case.

Now, I'd better go have my dinner, at bloody 10pm.

Oh no ensure - it's so depressing when your quiet me-time is all used up with this nonsense and the evening is nearly over
Tonight actually wasn't bad - we took her up at 8ish, there was a bit of crying/shouting and a toilet visit but only took her half an hour. Think the lack of sleep is just catching up with her and it will be back to the usual nightmare tomorrow. Interesting about the Penelope Leach stuff - she spent a lot of today wanting cuddles and to sit on my knee - she fell asleep on me in the chair etc. I carried her in a sling on my back to the shops today (for the first time in ages as I've a bad pregnancy back) - I wonder if that made any difference. Will bear the 'babying' idea in mind - thanks!
Hope your DD's bad nights become more and more rare

My DD 2.3 has been going through this since just after Xmas, taking ages to go to sleep, frequent wakings etc, settling her finally was getting later and later and i was spending all evening up and down the stairs. I am 39 weeks pregnant as well.

Turns out it was nearly all nap related, she dropped them compltely about 3 weeks ago (talk about shocking timing) and bedtimes are now very brief as she is so tired (as am i without mine!).

However, she is definitely more clingy generally and wanting lots of cuddles and is still waking up upset every day or so and needing lots of cuddles and reassurance, so i think its definitely a case of a couple of things interacting at the same time - poor little mite!

Wow, I thought I was the only one with this problem. My 2.9 DD has had bedtime behaviour problems since we moved her to a toddler bed at 1.10 to make room for her DS.

ATM, she goes into meltdown every evening regardless of how much sleep she's had during the day. A few days ago she even climbed over the upstairs stair gate so I now have to leave it open and she seizes on the opp to come all the way downstairs.

I have tried everything - Supernanny's stay in bed technique, stern words, reward stickers (poor thing just screams through her tears that she doesn't want a sticker), sitting in her room - all for prolonged periods but nothing seems to stick - and I am at my wits end.

Like ElfandsafeT, I am now also planning to ditch her afternoon nap altogether and perhaps go back to basics with evening bedtimes; staying with her and gradually moving out of her bedroom....

Not sure this helps.

PS apologies if post is too long - it's my first one!

elfandsafeT thank goodness you've cracked it - you sorted it at 36 weeks then? That gives me another 4 weeks to get it sorted lol. Think I will def try to drop naps properly to see if it helps. Have been giving lots of extra cuddles and affection and the last couple of nights haven't been too bad. I know it's just a stage - probably nothing I do will make any difference anyway
bedtimedarling sorry you're going through this too - it's murder.
Sounds very similar - think we might need to baby her at bedtime too for a while.

Loads of ideas ladies - going to try EVERYTHING to get this sorted