Almost 4 year old dd2 trashing the house in temper for the second day running. Surely this is not normal?

[DooinMeCleanin]

She has always had an unusually bad temper. I thought it would get better once she could communicate better, but it's getting worse.

Yesterday she had a tantrum because dd1 crossed the road before her. Dd1 is allowed to cross roads, dd2 had to wait for me.

She snatched dd1's cheese snack out of her hands and threw it on the floor. I took her snack off her and gave it to dd1. That was all it took to start a MASSIVE violent tantrum during which two bowls were smashed, the washing basket was thrown down the stairs and her bedroom drawers were thrown accross the room. It went on for an hour before she calmed down enough to reason with and for her to apologise. I made her clean up the mess she had made herself, which she did without argument.

Today, the TV is broken. She wants to watch a DVD on the PC. I told her after lunch as they are not allowed to eat at the PC desk. She threw her toy washer at me and slammed the door repeatedly until I carried her to her room to calm down. There is no reasoning with when she gets like this. Trying to talk to her only infuriates her more. She is now throwing all the drawers around her room again.

I can physically restrain her of course, but this makes the tantrums last longer. I only do this if she is attacking dd1 or a cousin.

This cannot be normal for a pre schooler? AFAIK she has not had an 'episode' at nursery, but they do describe her as 'wilfull' 'spirited' and 'someone who likes to do their own thing'

I had a charge who did this

he went mad and would want to throw / ssmash / break everything he could get his hands on.

it didnt last long at all (a week or 2 max, but at the time seemed for ever)

he was put in his room and not allowed out until he had calmed down.... and placed every single book back on his book shelf, and the covers / pillow on his bed / and his clothes back in the drawers / and the things that lived on nappy changing unit (cloths / muslins / nappies) back.

also many of the books mysteriously went into big brothers room as did heavy things he could damage.....

it didnt last long, especialy when every time he had to pick everything up!

Thanks Nannyl. I do make her pick everything up and apologise before she is allowed to come back down stairs, which she does without too much fuss.

I hope it does just last a week or two. Dd1 has already moved all her electrical things out of their room incase she smashes them.