My 16 month old is a hitter :( Help.

[SmethwickBelle]

I've read the previous threads on this on a search but really need to vent...

Not just once in a while, he's done it for months - it is like his way of saying hello, and its a proper swing, not just a gentle pat. He also does it when frustrated, in anger. Not to me, or even to his brother but always to other babies.

I am so mortified, it's got to the point where other mums are looking at me in disgust, and understandably so when their child is wailing due to being bopped as I haven't intercepted him (I normally do, to the point I am hovering over him).

We did a spell of taking his hand and stroking teddies in a gentle way and saying "gentle hands"...with lots of smiles... now we say a firm "NO" and place him away from the other baby and essentially ignore him for a moment and when he's gentle we try to reward the good behaviour (of which there is much, he is such a lovely child in other respects, it saddens me no one else sees it).

What else could I do? Please tell me he'll come out of this, I feel so low today, fed up with being "that" mum with "that" toddler...

Don't worry I'm often "that" mum too. You sound like you are doing the right thing telling him "no" and removing him from the situation. If you want to step it up you could try placing him on a naughty spot for a one minute time out to drive home the seriousness of what he's done. We use the naughty spot for hitting, biting and touching laptops with our 17 month old and it has been surprisingly effective. We don't do the whole take him back to the spot 100 times but at home we shut him out of the lounge for 1 minute, and at my friends house I place him firmly on the floor explaining why he's there, then place him back a couple if times if he gets up, before explaining one last time and giving him a cuddle. Not only does it seem to work in terms of stopping the undesirable behaviour, but the mother of the child who has been hit sees that you are taking action to redress the behaviour.
He will grow out of it. My ds hardly hits at all now but 2 months ago it was his way if communicating with other kids

Thanks for that - oh the looks I got this morning when he was at it at nursery drop off.... It is very reassuring to hear it can be overcome. I agree that the other parent needs to be reassured you're not letting the behaviour go, that's part of the embarrassment!

Yeah but you'd think they could give you a bloody break, it will be their little angel doing something terrible one day