18 week old never sleeps properly, I'm going mental, any advice?

[katekitkat]

I have got myself in a right pickle. My 18 wk old dd2 is a terrible sleeper. She will only settle if I lay her on her stomach with her dummy in and pat her back. For naps she just sleeps 45 mins but often stirs before then and I have to resettle her. At night I put her down at about 8 and bf her and sometimes put her down asleep and sometimes I put her down awake and pat her to sleep, she then normally stirs at least twice, sometimes more (three times already tonight), and I pat her to settle her. She wakes at 10.30 for a feed but often through the night wakes evey 45 mins. If I leave her she cries. The very most I ever get out of her at night, and this is only occasionally, is 2 and a half hours at a time.

she is exclusively bf and my mum thinks I should try her with formula but I just have a feeling it isn't hunger as she does it even after a massive feed.

I literally feel like I am going mental and feel such a failure, I am doing so much wrong on trying to get her to sleep I just don't know where to start. DD1 is just turning 3 years old and sleeps in the next room so I can't let dd2 cry. With dd1 we kind of did the baby whisperer and she wasn't a great sleeper either but no where near as bad as this. I just don't know where to start to try to change things, can anyone offer any advice, or comfort?

I had a similar problem with DD1, who was a very small child. At the advice of a consultant peadiatrician I was advised to introduce solids at about that age. It was like someone flicked a switch in her and she became happier overnight, and started sleeping (for about six hours). The advice has now changed to allow for solids from four months.

I also did baby whisperer with both DD1 and DD2, but not until DD1 was about 15 months (when she went backwards). DD1 now goes to sleep on her own for 12 hours straight through (if no nightmares) DD2 does about 10hrs (at 11 months). Both were exclusively breastfed and never took a bottle.

Stick with it and good luck

We were in a similar situation with our baby of the same age and had a lot of luck with getting my DH to try to resettle our baby during the night. At the start he was spending a few hours a night walking around with him before going to work the next day, but a few weeks on, we're now getting a 5-6 hour stretch, fingers firmly crossed.

Also, check the symptoms of silent reflux if you haven't already - dummy and only sleeping on tummy make me wonder if it that's a possiblity. Also only sleeping on tummy can sometimes mean that wind is a problem I believe.

Don't think formula will help from our experience (we had the problem even when giving a bottle of formula in the evening), but a bottle of EBM in the late evening if you can cope with expressing, might at least make you more confident that it's not hunger for a while afterwards.

No chance of DH settling in the night, that just isn't going to happen apparently he needs his sleep too much!

Wind - that is the other problem she is very windy and it wakes her up. I thought it as because she has a bad latch but perhaps it is the stomach sleeping.

The thing with the baby whisperer is that she doesn't offer any advice about how to sort out your baby's sleeping problems when you already have a dd1. There is no way i can embark on a routien of pick up put down for hours on end when I look after dd1 full time.

I think I will try to phase out one thing at a time, perhaps swaddle first and then sleeping on her back perhaps and I am going to think about weaning to. I know at some point it will get better but with the waking day and night every 20 mins or so I just am constantly tense and then I just crack and feel over whelmed.