Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

Won't poo - holding it in - 4 1/2 yrs old

13 replies

merlin · 30/03/2011 19:21

Hope you lovely ladies have some advice for my friend!

Her DS seems afraid to poo! He just holds it in for as long as possible, but then has 'accidents' where a little comes out. He then refuses to sit on the toilet or says there is no more to come. Continues with what he is doing and in no time at all has another 'accident '.

She is having to change hime 3/4 times some days and is at her wits end and worrying about him starting school in September.

His nursery are not being the most supportive and have appeared to not have noticed sometimes when he has had an accident - she has picked him up and he has pooed! Of course, that could have just happened as he was waiting to go home.

She doesn't know how to tackle this without making him more paranoid - and luckily I didn't experience this with my two - so hope someone can pass on some much needed advice!

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

mommmmyof2 · 30/03/2011 22:18

I haven't really got much to offer sorry, but read it and couldn't not reply.

Only thing I can think of is maybe he has had a bad experience and now he is scared to go, or just doesn't like going through embarresment.Has she asked him as I think he would be able to talk to her at his age.

Maybe a trip to the gp for any tips, hope she can sort it out though.

Original poster

merlin · 30/03/2011 22:36

Thanks Moooommy. I'm not sure if she's asked him directly - think she doesn't want to make any more of an issue of it then it is!

Tricky one - as you say hopefully GP may help.

OP posts:

BestNameEver · 30/03/2011 22:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mommmmyof2 · 30/03/2011 22:40

Yeah maybe just asking him as he is playing or something, not making it a big issue.It is a hard one though.My ds is 3 and won't go at playschool becasue he thinks other children will watch him! eventhough they are little I guess they still have their own little problems.

TomlinTowers · 30/03/2011 22:49

We had a similar problem with DS when he was 3 - wees were OK but he held in poos until he was in the bath (yuk) or had his night nappy on.

We found a brilliant story about Little Poo - basically all about how Little Poo was lonely in DS's bottom, and wanted to go home to Mummy Poo and Daddy Poo, and how DS had to help him by pushing him out and sending him on the water slide back to his family. We talked a lot (away from the toilet) about how nice it was to see our family, how much we missed DH when he was at work, etc etc. Sounds really twee, but DS really started empathising with the Little Poo and wanted to help him.

We then just resorted to plain bribery - if DS sat on the toilet and sent 10 poos home without a fuss, then he got an accessory for his Thomas train set. He went and chose it from the toy shop, and I put it away in the cupboard with a chart on the front. Every time DS did a poo without fussing on the toilet, he put a mark on the chart. He didn't lose any marks if he fussed or anything, just loads of positive reinforcements. It was difficult for the first three or four times, but by the time we got to five and above, he had forgotten all about the problem because it had just become normal to him.

Would also suggest that if your friend's DS is getting a bit constipated or if his stools are hard/dry then it might be hurting him to go. I found a half dose of lactulose really helped DS, as if he did a poo that hurt it would really put him off.

HTH

Pachelbel · 30/03/2011 23:00

Sometimes if a child has had a particularly large or hard poo, it can cause a slight tear in their passage, which will have hurt initially but can also make future bowel movements painful as the fissure can re-open. This is obviously distressing for the child, and can lead to them withholding their poo.
A trip to the pharmacy or GP for some suitable laxatives may help to soften his stools and make it less painful for him to go.
I've also heard good things about the poo story, so that may well be worth a go too.
Your poor DS, I hope you find a solution soon.

may08 · 31/03/2011 11:09

We have just gone through this with DS aged 3. He would go for 4-5 days without going but used to be rolling around on the floor in agony holding it in. I spoke to the doctor who was brilliant and said it is very common and they normally stop themselves from going if they have had constipation or maybe just a hard poo - it only has to happen once and then its hard for them to understand it isnt going to happen everytime.

On advice from the doctor we gave him lactulose and sennakot so in the end he couldnt hold it in, we had a few accidents and to be honest we spent most of the winter indoors (not much fun!)because DS refused to go out (he couldnt hold it in when standing up) but I'm pleased to say we have pretty much got over it now. When he finally went on the toilet we gave him lots and lots of fuss and treated him to a small piece of chocolate, he still had a few accidents after this and it was several months before I could convince him that it was ok to poo in someone elses toilet but I just wanted to share this experience with you so your friend can see that it is really common and they do eventually get through it. Good Luck!

deaconblue · 31/03/2011 11:10

water, water, water. I make ds drink lots more than he would choose to do. I also send him to our ensuite for a private "try to make a poo" session before his bath every night.

annieapple7 · 31/03/2011 12:17

Hi Merlin
I am a bit of an expert on this. My son now 7, has the same problem. It sounds like he is chronically constipated. He poos himself because by holding the poo in, it becomes hard and dry and hurts to pass. But the new poo coming through just comes out around it and he can't hold that in. Take him to the doctor - he will need plenty of fluid, fruit and veg, but also sennakot and lactulose. I wish your friend luck!

DeWe · 31/03/2011 20:29

One of mine was like this. I echo the advice to take him to dr.

Three years down the line and mostly better but still have movocol 2-3 times a week and if shething throws them off then can have small accidents.

Original poster

merlin · 31/03/2011 21:18

Ladies - thank you all so much for your comments and ideas. I have passed them on to my friend who is very grateful! She also saw the GP today who has given her some things to try and discussed with the HV too.

I managed to find the Poo goes to Pooland story too and printed it off for her - and her DS loves it!!!!

Thanks again!

OP posts:

chocotwit · 01/04/2011 15:14

I would definitely go for movicol rather than lactulose and sennakot, senna gave my son terrible tummy ache, and lactulose made him gag. The movicol breaks up the stool and makes it less painful for them to "go"

harvalp · 01/04/2011 15:33

Lactulose with some Elderflower cordial concentrate added removes the odd taste and the gagging should go away. It's good because it's easy to adjust the dose to get the right 'consistency'.

Flip