8 month old struggling to settle to sleep...advice needed

[Nancynew]

My dd is 8 months and struggles to settle herself to sleep in her cot, and cries a lot if she is put in awake. I know I need to break the habit we have got ourselves into of me bf'ing her to sleep then puttinng her in the cot. After reading a book on the topic, I tried standing next to her after having put her into the cot awake (and well fed!). This worked a couple of times, but no luck since - screaming despite me talking, patting her etc - or am I just being wimpy? i hate her crying so frantically. She still wakes several times a night. Any tips to help her settle (I am doing a consistent bedtime routine of bath, story, feed, story). Or just encouragement, or advice on how long it will take to work really appreciated. I would love to be able to sleep for more than 3 hours at a stretch!

Hi nancy, it's tough isn't it.

This may not be what you are looking for but i'm gonna lob it in the pot anyway!

You say you know you know you need to break the habit of bf'ing your dd to sleep...but i just want to say you don't have to!

Obviously if you want to for your own reasons that is understandable. But don't worry that she'll feed to sleep for the rest of your life...she won't (though it may feel like she is at times!).

Not everything a lo has to learn is something we need to teach them...lots of things just come with time.

As i said though if you want to stop it that is reason enough.

Incidentaly i also love three hours plus sleep so i co sleep with ds (13m) as i find nothing gets him back to sleep quicker than a boob in the mouth. i know he'll grow out of it.

Hope you find a solution that works for you anyway.

Its hard, but I think they do it when they are ready regardless of what you do!

FWIW, my DD only started sleeping reliably through the night and settling herself at about 20 months. Now it's so easy - story, cuddle, little song, into bed, "goodnight" and out I go while she is still awake and off she drops. She is old enough now to call down for me, she has lots of words and I think this means she can think to herself while in bed and doesnt get distressed being alone in her room.

My DD was like yours at 8 months - she could go from whimpering to full on screaming and throwing up in no time - and even at 18 months I still had to sit with her while she dropped off. I thought I had done it all wrong. But they get there when they get there. DD now sleeps like a school age child.

I would just keep doing the routine and keep responding to her needs. I think it will be easier for you later if she learns that she can rely on you.

Thank you both so much. I was worrying that she would never learn to sleep without the breast, but feel reassured that she will in time. I will persevere with our routine but not worry too much about giving her the breast to fall asleep for the moment. To be honest I get more sleep like that, despite the frequent wakings, than trying to settle her without with all the screaming! Thanks.

Paradoxically my DS won't drop off with us in the room. It's bedtime routine, bottle (used to be breast til 8 months) then cuddle and bed. He often has a wimper, sing or chat but always drops off within 20 mins.

Hes 13 months but been like this since about 5-6 months.

Good luck!