7 year old pushing away her only friend

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My seven year old daughter is very intense and this seems to be a bit much for other children at school. Since leaving nursery and starting school she has regularly been upset at no-one wanting to play with her at break time and swimming/dance clubs etc. I have seen the other kids giving her the brush-off so I know she's not exaggerating, but I can also see she tries to boss them around and tell them what to play.
She's a very sweet girl, arty, not academically very bright but likes school. She formed a good friendship with a very gregarious, slightly younger girl at school and the family have been collecting my daughter from school two days a week while I'm at work.
Suddenly my daughter has started to behave badly: last week she kicked her friend, yesterday it was hysterical tears, today she told the friend's father she didn't want to go to their house.
I suspect she is acting like this because she just doesn't want me to be at work, but I think if she pushes her friend and her family away like this she will regret it.
She has a brother almost three. They get on very well but sometimes she just won't leave him alone and he pushes her away.

Sorry to hear all this about your DD. Can you try to have some chats with her about her attitude and behaviour towards others?

It may not be because she doesnt want you at work. Maybe try asking her. If she wont talk about it, perhaps you can suggest she tries to draw a picture about how she is feeling. A picture of how she feels about you working, and a pic about her friends at school etc.
Are you firm and giving her boundaries, or are you too lax and let her get away with too much. From what you say its hard to see which.

Importantly it vital she knows she is loved and that you tell her so every day. Possibly at bed time etc. Praise her when she is nice to her brother, you and her friends. Give her strict boundaries when you witness her being unkind or too pushy with her friends.
Good luck , hope this helps.

Thanks Skifit, I think I will try the picure idea. She is arty, as I mentioned, so I think she'll respond well to that.
I have asked her how she feels throughout but, although she understands what she has done, she seems unable to make a link with or to articulate why.
Although I am a parent with strict boundaries and clear rules, she is so loving and affectionate it is a easy to give her lots of cuddles and praise.
Sweets or material treats are reserved for once a week though and the kids both seem to respond well to that.
I have told her that you cannot control other people, that they need to be free to make their own choices, and she does not seem to like that idea.

She sounds very bright to me.. Do the teachers at school say she is doing ok in school ? Does she habe social problems at school.?
You sound as if you are doing all the right things. Hopefully she will grow out of this intolerance of others, and be more patient with them as she grows older. It seems sometimes that girls can get very wrapped up in who is there friend and who isnt their friend, and the slightest disagreement with friends and they take it so much to heart. My DD used to get very embroiled with friends andwould fall out with them one week and best pals the next at school. She is now 20yrs and was a teen terror from hell, but is ok now. Boys dont seem to worry so much about who is their friend and who isnt.

Am away on holiday tomrw so wont get back to you till after 7th April.
Good luck!

She's got a great curiosity about the world and is very interested in "big" topics like religion but she's not at all academic. She can't count past ten and she's only just started to read. Her teachers have - finally - reluctantly admitted she shows clear signs of dyscalcula but are adamant that she isn't dyslexic.

She's imaginative and creative so she flourishes on her own but she's very group-focused and it's noticable from her role play (with toys at home) that she desperately wants to be a leader/controller and her peer group just won't let her.