School referring 5 year old ds for his behaviour. HELPPPPPPP

[nomadwantshome]

Ds is a very active, confident little boy. He has always been a bit of a hand full. We have relatively good periods but recently it's been a bit of a nightmare. Specifically I have to be really strict with him as he just spirals out of control. He runs off, fidgets, fights with his ds, wrecks things, doesn't listen. I can tell him not to do something and he'll almost immediately do it. It looks like he's not even listening or he thinks it's funny. I know he does some naughty stuff just to get a reaction out of me. I have to ask him to repeat what I've said.

We've moved to a new area and they started in a new school this January term. He's been sent to the head master 3 times and been on red countless times. Its usually for fighting in the playground. Today he was strangling a girl in year 1 and she has marks on her neck. There was no reason at all for this attack. I thought up until today that it was him settling in maybe. He didn't have all these problems at his old school or nursery.

It cant be that he doesn't get positive attention as I lavish it on both of them. Whilst dd is very receptive to discipline, I struggle with ds. We've tried a number of things but banning him from something he really wants seems to be the most effective. In any case, I'm dog tired of it all. It just seems like a daily battle.

I spoke with his teacher and she said that she was concerned with his behaviour and told me about the referral scheme. So hopefully we will get somewhere. Anyone got any experince?

Hopefully they will have some good strategies and solutions, it sounds exhausting for you.

My ds1 (now 15) has ADHD and his behaviour sounds similar. Our problems really started when he went to school - he didn't handle the transition well which may be what has happened with your son changing schools. I know a few parents who think their children may have sn but don't want a label but for me getting a diagnosis made all the difference. He has been taking Ritalin since he was 7 but will probably stop once he has finished his exams. He is a lovely, kind young man, high achieving and very musical and never gives me a bit of bother which is more than I can say for many of my friends sons who were such lovely little boys! Hope your assessment helps you both and remember he probably can't help his behaviour.

All the best, let me know how you get on.

Don't worry about the referral .. they won't find anything that isn't there. Who is the referral to, did they say? My son has ADHD and was diagnosed aged almost 7. 5 year old boys often behave in this way and to be honest, he would have to be pretty bad to get a diagnosis at all. Symptoms have to be present in 2 or more settings ie: home and school and have been present constantly for at least 6 months before the age of 7. How is he getting on learning wise at school? Does he have friends? How was he at nursery? There are so many reasons he could be displaying this behaviour ... insecurity, fear, learning difficulties, hyper activeness, attention deficit and so on and so on. Or it could just be his personality combined with being immature for his age. I think you would know in your gut if your ds was somehow 'different' from his peers ... I did and always had since my ds was a toddler.