Children's knife and fork use - need advise as I'm becoming obsessed!!!!!

[PureBloodMuggle]

DSs are 7 and 4.

Neither uses a knife and fork (properly) to eat dinner with. I've been trying to encourage the elder on for ages now and we don't seem to be getting anywhere. He seems to find it very difficult to figure out how to hold both implements and managing to use the fork to secure something whilst managing to cut a bit off successfully is baffling for him. He opts for pick it up with the fork and bite bits off option (that's with the fork in the opposite hand that it would be when using knife and fork - says it's too awkward with the fork in the other hand).

I'd say I'm part to blame as I didn't really think about it till last year (d'oh) and it's notable that the 4 year old is going to be more able than the 7 year old (mind you it's worth noting here that the 7 year old has difficulty (not major though) with fine motor skills) I also blame the molly coddling annoying overbearing MIL, who minds them regularly, (trying to change this situation) and STILL cuts up their food, into teeny tiny pieces, for them before it hits the table (she utterly refused to offer then anything but mush until they were over two as well but that's another issue I still haven't managed to get over!).

Anyway to cut a long-winded moan short, anyone got any helpful tips on how to teach / encourage proper knife and fork use?

I need advise before my head explodes as I'm fairly sure I used them as 5 so I know it's not exactly out of the age ability (I was no child progeny I can tell you!!!) Mind you I had hot dinners, stood over by evil over strict dinner ladies, at school back in the UK, but it's only pack lunches in Ireland)

If it's any consolation my DS (9) still has a struggle at times. My DD (6) often opts for fingers much to my annoyance. Her problem is that although right handed, she does an awful lot of things left handed (eg cutting out) and gets very confused as to which implement goes in which hand and says they don't feel right in either hand! I think it is just practice and patience.

It is a consolation Seeline as it lessens the panic I've left it to late / they'll never get it feeling

OK "panic" is a bit over the top!!! But I'd just like my only nagging reminder at dinner time to have to be 'don't speak with food in your mouth'

My dds are the same age as your boys and are only just beginning to use their cutlery reasonably well. They're both left handed though and I've left them to figure out how to use knives and forks comfortably for themselves.

I've had 'helpful' friends (of mine, not theirs!) reach over the re-position the cutlery in their hands. Drives me daft.

My children (10, 7 and 3) can use cutlery... but often will choose not to. #2 is missing her left hand which impedes the use at times. Both the older 2 have been through stages where they want to use it, and stages where they don't.
As long as they know when they "must" try and use it (eg when visiting) I worry less at home.
I'm fairly ambidextrous and I still find it difficult to decide which impliment is best in each hand. I can do it equally well either way round.

OK so I can be a little more relaxed about it - he's not going to enter adulthood unable to use a knife and fork

DD1 is 9 and still can't manage as well as i hoped she would by now. She holds the cutlery like a chimpanzee- it's like she forgets every time how to hold them. It's mainly the knife she has problems with.

I have this too - dds are 6 and 4. Am getting really irritated by the whole finger-eating thing. The cushion is a great idea though, rubyruby. Will try that.

My DD is nearly 10, she does have a set of cutlery but often picks food up with her fingers . For me the best way to teach her how to use it was to stand behind her with my hands over hers.
She is tiddly rather petite for her age so she still has a special fork and a random knife with serations. Our cutlery is too heavy and too big for her.

DS struggled with cutlery, we were advised to buy this for him by an occupational therapist and it worked - there are really obvious places to put your fingers.

DS1 (8) & DD2 (7) were both quite good until this year when they have a teacher who has encouraged them, so they both say, to hold their knives like pens. It is one of those areas where I'm a bit shy to say the teacher is wrong and have simply resorted to "Well THIS is how WE do it and how I would like you to go on doing it."

I've wondered about having a quiet word with the teacher concerned but don't want to cause offence and I feel it's a bit like regretting their having been taught to use words like "toilet" or "serviette" at school, more a matter of social expectation and habit than real importance and, anyway, I wonder if it's perhaps a good thing if they grow up not minding so much about table manners and language as we were brought up to do!

(Hollow laughter) DS (12) still uses a fork in one hand and fingers from the other hand. Good luck :-)

cat - ds was always getting told to say toilet not loo, which drove me potty! I would definitely write a note to say look, you've confused them, we do it like this at home, but then, i am quite bossy keen to instil good table manners, correct speech, etc.