DD is 2.10 and currently an only child although I am pregnant and due in July.
She has always been a bit of a handful, some would call her 'spirited' but I feel like things are getting worse and worse and I'm really struggling to cope with her and enjoy time with her. God, I hate saying that. I am fairly sure that me being pregnant is not helping with my coping with her but I'm also aware that it is only going to get worse as I get more heavily pregnant and once dc2 is born so I want to try to either find ways of improving her behaviour or my coping methods sooner rather than later.
I basically feel like absolutely everything is turning into a battle at the moment and I can't think of anything that isn't, but I'll try to thing of some specific examples to illustrate.
- She refuses to hold hands when we are out and about and I end up either grabbing her arm and physically dragging her (eg when crossing a road, in a dangerous area or similar), wrestling her into the pushchair while she screams, fights and hits me, or picking her up while she screams, fights and hits me. Several times over the past few days she has slapped me very hard around the face while I'm carrying her.
- She will ask me for a drink, or snack, or something similar. I will go to get it. She will follow after me and just after I have made it she will start screaming 'MY DO IT, MY DO IT!!' Obviously, by this stage it is too late and I have already done whatever it is but she will have a full on meltdown, screaming, stamping and hitting. I do allow her to help whenever reasonable and encourage her to do things for herself. Usually I will ask her if she wants to do whatever it is and she will say no, then go mental 2 minutes later when she realises I have done it.
- Getting into the car. We currently have 2 car seats in the car as we regularly give lifts to a friend who has a little one the same age. Whichever side of the car we approach she will throw a fit and insist on going on the other side. If it is safe then I will let her choose but sometimes it's just not safe/practical, so I will insist she goes in on the safe side. She climbs in herself usually but sometimes she is mid tantrum so I have to physically man handle her into the seat. Even if she has got into the seat by herself quite happily she will then turn around, flip herself over and generally fight me in trying to do the straps up. She'll try to get her arms out, hit me and scream.
These are just 3 examples but it feels like a constant round of negotiating, cajoling, screaming, tantruming and battles at the moment. I know that a certain amount of defiance and tantrums are par for the course with toddlers but I just feel like we are at a whole other level and I don't know how to change it. What particularly worries and upsets me is the hitting. She has slapped me very hard quite a few times and it seems to be her default reaction to anything that she doesn't like. It hurts, it's embarrassing when it happens in public, and it makes me very angry with her.
Sorry this is so long but I am finding it very difficult to cope with her at the moment and to enjoy spending time with her. I'm a stay at home mum (lost my part time job in October) and she spends one day per week in nursery. Today was nursery day and I missed her and was really looking forward to seeing her after nursery but within 5 minutes we'd had the usual car battle and I was angry, stressed out and wishing away the time until bed.
Sorry this is so long but I'm really feeling at the end of my tether, I don't understand where I have gone so wrong to raise this beautiful little girl into a screaming, hitting wild thing.