How does your 3.5 year old react when they are told off?

[Crusoe]

Hi
I am interested in how other children react to being told off as I am concerned my Ds's reaction is unusual.

When being told off (in a calm not in anyway aggressive manner) my ds doesn't like to look at me and will deliberately turn his head away (eye contact at other times is good). When asked to look at me he will but seems very reluctant to do so.
He always tries to find something to fiddle with, eg buttons on shirt and if he can't will start twirling his fingers or swinging his arms.
He seems to always need prompting to say "sorry" in a nice voice but will then spontanously give a hug and a kiss.
He then has to reinact saying "sorry" in a nasty mean way telling me that it is not right!

He seems different to friends children of a similar age who seem to show more shame and remorse. My ds doesn't seem to get upset about being told off. I am worried that this might be a symptom of something more or is it just a phase or my quirky boy.
Any thoughts or comment very welcome

Love C

I get a sarcastic soreeeeeeeeeeeee from my 3 year old ds. Or a really whiny one while refusing to look at me. Or he stamps his feet and says he doesn't want to say it.

He's just stubborn and stroppy and I can't think where he gets it from.

Though I would hate to be "made" to say sorry so our DS's are probably just rebelling, and quite right too!

Sometimes he shouts "no" at me sometimes he throws something at me and sometimes he tries to hit/kick me. He also sometimes just says sorry and gives me a hug and a kiss. I would say that I get the latter 50% of the time.

It all depends on his mood really. If he is not in the mood for, well being told off, then he also won't look at me. He'll do his best to avoid eye contact.

He is also a stubborn stroppy 3yr old, I blame his dad

My ds (almost 3) avoids eye contact when being told off to. Most times he will say sorry and give me a hug, but then go back to doing the thing I'd told him off for...so obv.not really remorseful!

Mostly he looks at me, does a faux wibbly lip "mm mm mm mm" type thing and then opens his mouth wide in a similarly fake "wah-ah" noise. Sometimes he will actually cry properly, but mostly when I have shouted for whatever reason.[bad mummy emoticon]

He also doesn't get the idea that just saying sorry isn't quite the point - the point is to stop doing the "bad" thing!

When I'm trying to explain why he mustn't do the "thing" again, he won't look at me though - until told to several times.

When he hurts me he always says "sorry" and kisses it better, asks "all better now?" then promptly does it again! (usually playing with a mole on my arm, which he sometimes catches with his nail - ouch!)

He is 3.4 btw.

Thanks everyone it sounds like my ds is pretty much like your 3 year olds. I guess its all an age thing. He is the youngest child in his nursery class and just stands out as being different sometimes but he is almost a full year younger some of the others so of course he is different.
Note to self : stop worrying!!!

C xx

DD Aged 2.8 won't look and me and sometimes even giggles when I tell her off.

Mine won't look at me either - or she stares at me in such an appealing way that it makes me laugh (not good!). Quite often she dives under the table; remember my niece doing the same.

yes avoid eye contact

Sounds normal to me. It's avoidance/denial.

DD has a different approach entirely...

DD, my milk appears to have disappeared.
Has it?
Yes, do you know anything about it?
Yes, Raphael the ninja turtle came in looking for pizza and was distracted by fighting the bath monster. This made him hot and sweaty and he needed a drink.
So?
He drank your milk.
Is that really what happened?
No. I drank it I'm sorry, I should have asked. I'll get you some more milk There really was a ninja turtle here though. It was awesome.

If I'm really cross and she knows she has done something bad she might cry. Otherwise she either looks sad, hides her face or does a good impression of not listening!

SoH very funny! Do you manage not to laugh?

SOH - wow! How do you keep a straight face?

My DD (3.5) does a mixture of most of the above. Guess it's all normal.

I've had a lot of practise at keeping a straight face. If Raphael isn't stealing my drinks, Alex and Solly (just 2 more of her imaginary gang) have upended most of the storage containers looking for supersonic radar doodahs to power them back to base camp.

I like that she has such a vivid imagination. She does always acknowledge the truth in there somewhere and always rectifies the problem/tidies up/refills my drink so I let it go but I do worry about what will happen come school. Preschool parents evening was a revelation. She was put on a chair once to think about whether or not snatching a toy back from another child was the right thing to do and when asked a few minutes later what she thought, entered into a spiel about how she had thought lots of things and yes she shouldn't snatch even if he snatched first because she should make better choices but also she had enjoyed sitting on the rocket chair and flying to Planet Spaghetti for a few minutes and did they know that there was a hidden booster pack under the chair.

I should be worried shouldn't I?

SOH I wouldn't worry. At least she thought about the snatching before she went to Planet Spaghetti

Show, she sounds fabulous! love it
She will probably grow up to be the next J.K.Rowling and make her fortune, then be able to keep you in milk and cookies for the rest of your natural. :)

I think she sounds wonderful, SOH. Just wonderful.