Please can someone help? My 5 year old DS has always been strong willed/challenging/spirited/whatever you want to call it. He doesn't seem to have much respect for authority. He seems to view everyone as being the same level as him, and will (very convincingly) argue the toss over everything. He wants to be in charge all of the time and can be very bossy both with adults and peers. Unsurprisingly he's finding school difficult as he argues with his teacher and the TA.
We try to be absolutely consistent with discipline at home. We try to reward and praise good behaviour. We try to model polite and respectful behaviour. We do expect him to be polite and well mannered and are complimented on his manners. We've been using strategies from the book "1,2,3 Magic" which initially seemed to work. From Nov - Feb he seemed to be behaving acceptably at school and was much more co-operative and (dare I say it) pleasant at home.
School have him on a reward system where he has to get three animal stickers on his chart each day in order to get out for his last playtime (he still gets first play and lunch as he needs to let off steam and get time to socialise). At the end of the day if he gets his animal stickers he gets a smiley star on our chart at home and a treat at home too (feed the ducks, go to park, favourite programme on TV or similar).
It's not working. He's arguing and demanding excess amounts of attention from his teacher at school (despite her telling me that he is the brightest in the class). He often tells her he can't do a piece of work without even trying then will have a tantrum if she doesn't help him, or he'll say he is too tired to do it. He's being more grumpy, stroppy and stubborn at home than he was a few months ago.
He has a fantastic sense of humour, is loving and affectionate towards DH, his little sister and myself. He is very bright and can be such lovely company.
I am so fed up of being called over to speak to the teacher at the end of each school day. I am fed up of constantly having to discipline him at home. I am fed up of feeling angry and frustrated with him. I just want to be able to enjoy spending time with my little boy. I love him so very much and really just want him to be a healthy, happy, well adjusted person. My job as his mum is to help him reach that point but I feel like I'm failing!
If anyone has managed to read to the end of this and has any advice I would really appreciate it. Thank you.