4yr old waking up saying he's scared of monsters and wolves - ideas?

[Witchycat]

DS is 4yrs & 3 months. He has always been quite 'sensitive' but never had a problem settling on his own in bed and slept in his own room from 6 months with no problem.

Just this week he has started taking longer to settle at bed time and last night he woke up at 2am & after a fair bit of gentle questioning he admitted he was scared of monsters and wolves.

I told him monsters are just in stories and he seemed to accept it but telling him there are no wolves in England and even if there were the front door is locked seemed to make no difference.
The 2nd time he woke up he asked 'what if the wolves have keys? I told him again there aren't any wolves and said that even if there were they couldn't get our keys and even if they did their silly furry paws wouldn't be able to use them.

I tihnk part of this is just because he has more energy now it's half term so he's not sleeping as soundly but there's obviously an anxiety there too. School say he's settled in well (just started) so I don't think it's that. Any ideas?

Would this help?

Have asked him about school. He settled in far more quickly than I expected. He never liked being left at nursery but seems to enjoy school more than he did nursery. The only negative thing he's said is that on one ocassion some girls wouldn't let him play with him. He knows one of them from nursery but she has her own particular group of femal friends and they are all nearly a year older than him so sometimes she doesn't want to play with him. He hasn't yet made a particular close friend but seems to know everyone in his class and the teachers have said he gets on ok with everyone.

He does often seem to get upset that no-one will play with him - this includes me and his Dad at home. He doesn't seem able to think of his own games and play by himself at all but I'm not sure how many 4 year olds do.

Ellceel - that's really cute. Thank you for the link. I think I might try a cuddly wolf if I can't get to the bottom of what this is all about. Can't do any harm after all.

awww! wolfie!

awwww maybe he is worried about being on his own then (in the playground) and these wolves coming to get him are just an illustration of him worrying about feeling a bit lonely

Could you have a long chat about how we don't need to play with people all the time? Perhaps you could show him how to make up some games himself? Could you invite some of his school mates over to play in the next few days - it might boost his confidence.

Thanks Fox - will try talking to him about the playing thing and we're planning to go to a local activity centre on Friday with one of his class mates (although most of the times we've mentioned it he's said he doesn't want to go.

Maybe it'll settle down when he's back at school next week.

I think it's totally normal for 3/4 year olds to develop these fears. It's because they are suddenly much more imaginative. My ds has certainly become much more afraid recently - won't go upstairs without someone with him ('I'm frightened without my parents') and I let him have the light on, a storytape playing softly if it helps, and I sometimes caper about amusingly 'magicking' the offending frightening thing away by chanting something like 'All you naughty bears go back to the woods and don't you scare my ds who is good! I'll send you magically on your way, don't you dare come back today!' and then say Abracadabra bears are gone! Abracadabra happy dreams are here!' - it seems to work. And it cheers him up no end to see his mother capering about idiotically.

I wouldn't be surprised if it stops happening once he gets back to school and he gets completely exhausted again!

Good luck.

my friend tackled this problem by having a moster and wolf hunt (almost exactly same senario with her dd) and they brushed all the monsters out the house and all the wolves out the garden with a broom, worked for them!

Had a quick scoot round for you and as far as I can see neither Chester or Blackpool Zoo have wolves, neither does the Welsh Mountain Zoo in Colwyn Bay, 'fraid it might have to be a trip to Longleat to see them in the flesh!!

My dh has a can of 'octopus spray' (ds1 is terrified of an octopus in his bedroom....?), which he sprays each night to protect the room ds1 sleeps in. It's obviously just deodorant covered in parecel tape with a sticker on, but it works a treat!

Thanks everyone for all the ideas.

Lucyfercat - thanks for checking for me. I'm in Bradford so Longleat is too far. FlamingoLand is near and their website implies they have alot more animals than I thought. Might be a fun day out anyway - wolves or no wolves.

He was ok last night so I might just see how this plays out over the next few days. Thanks again everyone for the support and suggestions.

have you got the book Clever Polly and the Stupid Wolf? If not, buy it, he will love it. It's not a picture book but the stories are so funny, it's about a stupid wolf that wants to eat a little girl but she's much cleverer than the wolf and always outsmarts him. My DS (same age as yours) loves it.

Will look for the book Katierocket. Thanks.

Have come up with a daft spell tonight that seems to have really cheered him up. He has a magician's wand and is now dragging his Dad round the house saying 'From window to door and ceiling to floor, no more wolves anymore' and then 'ka-pow' while flourishing the wand theatrically.

I've told him the spell will last all night but he can do it again if he's worried and it doesn't matter if he forgets the words because the wand is magic and remembers the last spell it performed. Oh, and the spell can't be broken (because he asked if it could get broken if a wolf kissed the house - blame Sleeping Beauty!)

I don't know. If someone told me a few year's ago that this is what I'd be doing on a Friday night I wouldn't have believed them!

How about helping him to make a poster for his bedroom door saying 'No wolves allowed.' Have heard before that this has helped some children with nightmares.

Nail a crucifix above his bed and tell him that monsters and wolves are frightened of it.