Am I getting it wrong with my daily routine ?

[HaveToWearHeels]

DD is 18 months and I think I might be getting it all wrong as everything is getting a bit of a battle

7.30 She has 150ml's of milk when she wakes up
8.30 breakfast - which is normally a battle, I offer toast and cereal, but she usually ends up eating just fruit.

Lunch is a bit hit and miss depending on how much she has eaten for breakfast.
She sleeps from approx 12-2pm
If she has had a resonable breakfast she has lunch after her nap but she usually just picks at cheese sticks, mini chedders and fruit.

If she has not had a good breakfast I usually offer pasta, noodles or beans and cheese. she will then pick at this and ends up having more fruit.

4pm - snack of either a oaty bar, some raisins or a rich tea biscuit - which she stuffs.

We don't have dinner until 6pm due to collecting her from the childminder 2 days a week. We like to eat as a family but it is getting pretty strained and we are thinking of asking CM to give her her teas earlier.

She is usually knackered by 6pm and we have tantrums. Always home cooked dinner, like fish pie and veg, spag bol, cauliflour/macaroni cheese.
she eats a few mouth fulls and gets more irritable.

Bath and then bed at 7pm, usually after her bath she has perked up and dd and daddy have a little play on our bed and then she has her 260mls of milk and self settles in her cot.

Sleeps until 7.30 next morning.

What am I doing wrong ? Why are 75% of mealtimes a struggle ?

Should I give her dinner earlier ?
Should I cut down her milk ?
Should I feed her before or after nap ?

Suggestions please ?

• you could try giving milk in a cup along with breakfast
• my 2 have dinner around 5pm andthen me and dh eat later
• you could try giving lunch before her nap and then a snack when she wakes up

I used to play it by ear and sometimes ds had a snack before his nap and lunch after or had lunch first and a snack after. Is she still in a highchair? Have you tried having her on a booster seat up at the table?

She just may not be that hungry.

My ds had cut out his morning milk by 1 and he just then had the milk in the cereal. He usually (and still does at 2.8yr) wake up early but he knows he doesnt get breakfast until 8-8.30. So he might get a biscuit and drink (water, fresh juice) but thats it. Some days he is hungry so we can bring breakfast forward but he doesnt get breakfast until 8.30 on nursery days so we try stick to that.

I would imagine your DD isnt eating much breakfast as she is full from her milk. So if you are worried, I'd cut that as the first thing. Just give her cereal and that will have enough milk in it.

I'd also bring lunch to before her nap. It sounds like she sleeps perfectly both naps and at bedtime (lucky you!) so I wouldnt want to mess with that, but maybe offering lunch at 12 and nap then at 12.30? I do lunch as bread, cheese, fruit bits (although at nursery he does have a full cooked meal) and that will do him to about 4ish when he'll get a bit hungry and then its a snack of banana or breadsticks and dip.

We also have dinner at 6. which is a full home cooked meal. DS also still has milk before bed.

Your routine doesnt sound wrong - I think just cut out the morning bottle milk to start with and her appetite for food might return. But kids do go through phases. My DS can eat for England one day and ask for third helpings of dinner and then on other occassions wont touch it (like last night he didnt touch his pasta which he normally devours but happily ate a yoghurt).

I would also give milk with breakfast. If she is thursty you could give her water or watered down juice when she wakes, and start giving her a cup of milk with her breakfast. I think that snacks encouraged my kids to eat more at meal time - as if it was better for them to have a little food, more often.

I've always tried to get the main meal in at lunchtime. That way, if they're too tired later, you can just give a sandwich/ picnic meal later, and they've had a good meal already.

Your meals sound fine to me, just in the wrong order for a lot of toddlers.

is your DD losing weight/under weight? If not then she is probably just eating what she needs, at least fruit is healthy and she sounds like she's getting iron and calcium from the milk and cheese.

My DS has a big appetite but will never eat breakfast without a fight, so we've stopped trying. He doesn't seem any worse for not having it (he doesn't have milk either in the morning). I usually give him a snack around 11am and he has his lunch after a nap - by which time he's properly hungry and eats lots.
Unless she'd losing weight i wouldn't worry about it too much - you don't want to make meal times a huge deal as it could lead to food issues later on.

What do you mean when you say you have a battle with her at breakfast? My DD has milk when she gets up but then will often just have some fruit before nursery. Occasionally she will eat toast or share my porridge but she never eats much. I don't push her if she doesn't want it and she makes up for it for the rest of the day. I just think that if you start the day with a battle over food it will put her off mealtimes and everyone just becomes tense. I hope that doesn't sound unsympathetic - it must be worrying if she isn't eating much - but I think food can become a real issue without you realising.

Do you think some toddlers just aren't breakfast people?

Up until very recently my ds1 just wasn't interested in breakfast at all. He's 23months now and only just started eating half a slice of toast and half a banana.

He eats well the rest of the time though so I didn't worry.

I also agree with switching the meals around, I really do think having the main meal at lunch time is better for toddlers.

DD2, 26m, has just (sort of) come through a phase where she would only eat breakfast if it was mine, or her brother's left overs. Her own bowl (with same contents) was untouched. Oh and she eats breakfast at nursery, but that's later.
Rule 1: at 18m , she is just realising she can refuse, so let her, don't fight, if she'll eat fruit and drink milk then she'll be OK
Rule 2: consider what she eats over the week, if it's reasonably balanced, you're away!
I always keep a selection of snacks about, some toddlers do just snack. Favourites here: oatcakes and cheese cubes, marmite on toast, grapes, any dried fruit (much easier to keep in your handbag indefinitely...), breadsticks, "energy bars" (banana flapjack with finely chopped nuts, seeds and dried fruit)

How is she eating te evening meal, because they sound like meals that she might need help with but at 18m this can lead to battles. Maybe try to do things like pasta that can be just picked up and stuffed in?!

I would drop the milk as this might encouage a better breakfast and give a longer gap till lunch. Then later you could make the 4pm snack smaller, say just fruit, there does come a time when big snacks/milk cut into meals.

I would give her the milk when she wakes in the morning and only offer fruit at breakfast as that seems to be what she likes. I would give a good (earlier) lunch before her nap and a small snack (as you are) when she wakes. She could have milk with that too if you wanted. Then you can choose whether you all want to eat together or to feed her first (or at the childminders) and eat later yourselves if she is too tired. She would still have her milk before bed.

Most of all don't let it become a battle. Offer food and if not eaten clear it away. I fussed with ds's 1 & 2 and now they are fussy. I didn't have time to fuss with ds3 (4.8 y) and he eats whatever is put down in front of him without complaint. The school say they have never seen a child eat such a variety of things and have so few dislikes!

Have fun!

Ok, I haven't read all the responses but my message would be CHILL OUT!

They don't eat that much at this age- they don't need that much! They start eating more as they approach 2. If you want her generally to eat more then give her less milk.

Don't battle over food. It's not worth it. If you let her take the lead and chill out she will eat what she needs. Some days she may eat a lot, some days she may eat virtually nothing. IT'S OK!!!!!

Yes, I would definitely do tea earlier, 6pm is very late for a little one. I would aim for 4.30 or 5.

Hope this is helpful!

I think your routine is fine the only thing I would say is that imo 6pm is too late for the main meal, my dd would would have def been too tired to eat properly then, I would either go for main meal at lumchtime (midday before nap) or 4-5pm, then bath at 6pm bed at 7 pm!

Thanks all for your advise. She has been better this week. We have just been going with the flow and being more chilled out.