7 year old crying lots in class but happy at home

[catclarks]

Wondering if anyone out there has any ideas here. DD1 is nearly 8 and everyday I pick her up from school and she is happy as Larry. Everything is great, the occasional typical fall out with the other girls in her class but nothing more than that according to her. She does seem genuinely happy and oozes confidence. The other mums think she is a delight and very pleasant.
At the last parent?s day the teacher mentioned she had been crying a lot in class over silly little things. To be fair her best friend, who was really good for her had just moved away. The other girls in the class are all lovely and they seem to be a close group, however they have paired off. DD1 has always been emotionally younger than the others, although her teacher mentioned that she thinks DD1 is emotionally age-appropriate, whereas some of the others are slightly older than their years. When I asked DD1 why she was getting so upset, she couldn?t give me a reason and said that she would try and count to 10 before getting upset.
So as far as I was concerned (and according to DD1) everything was fine, until today. Had another parent?s day, and it turns out whilst she has some good days, generally things are just as bad as they were. She?s crying on a daily basis, and is also quick to tell on others. Teachers are now getting frustrated at the situation. I just don?t know how to handle this one. I?m hearing one thing from DD1 and a completely different thing from the school. I think if it continues, she?s going to end up alienating her friends and I desperately don?t want her to lose her confidence.
Anyone have any ideas about what to do/say before I talk to DD1. Thanks

you should ask her if she's being bullied, it could be the reason and telling on others could be a way of revenge without realizing it. school would remind her of her best friend so that could be why too, can she / does she talk to her friend on the phone or something once a week? or even see her?

my first best friend left when was in year 9, i knew her under a year but we basically lived in each others houses of a weekend and did everything together - even swapped clothes, make-up, jewelery and when she left and i went to school I was hysterical. still miss her now.. like shes my sister.

Maybe seeing her and spending time with her mate that moved would help, try getting her into an after school club that she likes, she'll be able to make friends there. My brother has ADHD and through primary school he was a trouble maker and always in trouble and had hardly any friends by high school, but he joined after school clubs and it calmed him down as he didn't feel forced to do something he didn't like.. instead he had something to look forward too

hope it helps xxx

Thanks Angel. I really don't think she's being bullied. I have asked her and she says she's not, and her mood when I meet her at the school gate is generally always happy. She does have a love/hate relationship with one of the boys in her class. But things seem to be okay with him just now.

You're right about her missing her friend. They were so close. On the same wavelength and spent their entire time laughing together. Unfortunately she's now a 4 hour drive away so quite difficult to catch up regularly. I think part of the problem is that she desperately wants to have that close friendship and wants to be the popular one but isn't.

She's always so enthusiastic when she sees any of the girls from her class but unfortunately that enthusiasm isn't always reciprocated which is really hard to watch. It really is a unique group of girls in the class. They genuinely like and watch out for each other, and the teachers up to now have always commented on that. My gut feeling is that the tears started in order to get attention from the other girls but I get the impression they are getting fed up with that now.

She already goes to swimming, dancing and Brownies which she loves. I just need to get through to her that if she carries on the way she is, she's going to end up losing her friends which would break my heart. The question is how to get that across to a 7 year old!!

Bump

Toughasoldboots, no they don't think it's a communication problem at all. She's not at all shy at approaching people and can talk for Scotland. She can turn the tears off in a second so they think it's purely an attention thing.

Speaking to her on her own, you would think that everyone is her best friend. I just need to get her to open up to me about how things really are. But she does live in her own wee fantasy world sometimes, so perhaps she doesn't really see there is a problem. As you say, it's very hard to witness.

Unfortunately the one girl who isn't paired up with someone else in the class isn't necessarily the right person for her. Think they have a bit of a fiery relationship. (I just need to persuade her friend to move back, and problem solved )

I'm just not sure how to speak to her about it without really denting her confidence. Have you spoken to your DD about it?

Bumping for any early evening advice