I'm tearing my hair out now about DD not eating

[been33]

DD is 19 months old and is just an awful eater, i've posted before and tried the things suggested like leaving food out for her and just leaving her to it at dinner time to feed herself - nothing is working and she is now eating even less than before - she has never eaten a piece of fruit, will only eat pureed fruit, has never eaten a veg, only when i mix it into spag bol, which she will sometimes eat, it's just got to crazy levels and I can't stand another dinner time. Does anyone know a feeding specialist I could try for advice and it's really getting me down.

Maybe speak to your health visitor for help?

TBH their appetites do slow down at that age, quite dramatically. Can you keep a record of what she eats over a week? Also try not to get stressed about it and give small portions so it's not to overwhelming for her. Do eat together if you don't already as she's likely to mimic your behaviour. Don't make a big deal of it otherwise shell start doing things (ie messing about) for a reaction.

You sound really stressed. I have been in yr position and worse and can only say that you should try to speak to a dietician if possible. How is yr DD's weight? My daughter was ill in her first year and this badly affected her ability to eat and it took a long time for her to eat good size portions. I managed to relax a bit by reducing her portions to just a couple of tablespoonsful of food, so barely covering the bottom of a baby bowl, because that was realistically the most she would eat, and then felt much better when she finished. I think maybe you need to go back to a "food is fun" level and try to set out a small piece of a few different things so she can explore with touch smell and eventually tasting - make it visually interesting if you can - and make sure you put butter or olive oil on foods if you are concerned about weight gain. Is she having too much milk? Is she very unhappy at mealtimes? My dietician was very clear that if DD wasn't enjoying meal or becoming upset, then to stop immediately. If you cannot find someone to talk to, then try a book called "meals without tears", by Rana Conway.

Important that yr DD is comfortable with sitting at table and at least interacting a bit with food and seeing you eat. Do everything you can not to force her or push her to eat. Let her choose what she picks up/tastes. It is so very hard to let a child do this on their own, I know, because I'm ashamed to say I forced her to eat on many occasions, out of frustration. Reducing portions and letting her go at her own pace, and offering regular snacks has all been helpful. I now always listen when she says she's had enough and assume that she'll eat larger meals at other times when she needs them.

Really feel yr pain and hope you find a way thru it.

Is she losing weight? If not, can you trust that she must be taking in enough calories and leaver her to it? My ds has only just started eating what I consider to be significant amounts, and he is 2.9.

The nutritionist Jane Clarke has written several books on food for babies and small children,and she has a private practice.She is really lovely.As your situation sounds so tricky and upsetting it might be worth paying to see her,or someone else. www.janeclarke.com/ here is a link to her website where you can find out more about her and her contact details.

how about letting her eat food that she likes? DS1 would not touch fruit or vegetables but loved cheese, bread, pizza, ham - basically anything that didn't have fruit etc in it. He is 5 now and will eat a reasonable variety of food, except fruit!