naughty friend!

[waiting4bambino]

Just wanted some advice on this - am going on holiday with a friend and her little girl, who's the same age as mine. Well, when both toddlers are together, they're continually fighting, and I can honestly say its usually instigated by my friend's child (i'm not being biased!!).
So they're continually being made to apologise to each other, and without sounding horrible, my friend's little girl is a complete grass!! She comes running to mummy with the slightest thing, and so my friend asks my girl to apologise for something i don't think she should!!
How will i spend a whole week with them?! My usual child seems to be replaced with a little savage, sometimes of her own accord and mostly because she is reacting to the other child. As the other toddler has tantrums too, my little girl copies them and lies on the floor!

Does anyone else have friends like these?!! It sounds awful, but although i really like my friend, i'm beginning to loathe her child! Help!

Just wanted some advice on this - am going on holiday with a friend and her little girl, who's the same age as mine. Well, when both toddlers are together, they're continually fighting, and I can honestly say its usually instigated by my friend's child (i'm not being biased!!).
So they're continually being made to apologise to each other, and without sounding horrible, my friend's little girl is a complete grass!! She comes running to mummy with the slightest thing, and so my friend asks my girl to apologise for something i don't think she should!!
How will i spend a whole week with them?! My usual child seems to be replaced with a little savage, sometimes of her own accord and mostly because she is reacting to the other child. As the other toddler has tantrums too, my little girl copies them and lies on the floor!

Does anyone else have friends like these?!! It sounds awful, but although i really like my friend, i'm beginning to loathe her child! Help!

Sometimes children just clash or bring out the worst in each other.

My suggestion would be to expect the worse, so spend lots of time playing with them, setting the tone of the play etc. Bring art stuff etc. Make sure they have lots of distractive activities - two of each. Boring I know, as you probably wanted to relax yourself. But as soon as they are happy playing something together step back. Step in when it gets tough.

Can you try and see if there is a pattern to when they behave badly together? Is it the first hour, as they get used to each other? (powerplay) Is it mealtimes (hungry)? Is it sharing?

Don't just go along with your friend demanding an apology - find a way to talk about it perhaps? You and your friend might have differing parental expectations.

In a few years time they may get on brilliantly.

Waiting I wouldn't book a holiday if I thought it was gonna be stressful for me or my children .... that probably doesn't help you at all, but I have been in a similar situation for a few years. I have a very good friend who has asked me on many occasions to holiday with her and her kids. Our children don't really 'hit it off' (too many clashes of personalities - 4 boys!!). So I have made a pact with myself that we do not holiday together as a family. I've been away on girly weekends with her and they've been great. However, as soon as the children come into the equation, it's a mare!! They are getting older, and I can see a day when we will be able to do it. It's probably too late for you in this instance, but you may need to chat with your friend and get it out in the open. Try and decide that you will both be relaxed and ignore 'low level' stuff. She probably feels the same way about your child ... you'll never know unless you talk about it. Good luck!

Thanks both for your opinions! I don't think i will talk to her about the actual subject, but i might bring up a sort of shall we have some holiday rules etc so that we don't get stressed out.. We'll see how this hol goes and if its awful, i may leave it a year or so before trying again...

On the subject of distracting them, that works at times, but to sound even meaner, i don't think her child is as intelligent as mine, and whereas I can reason and explain things in length with my child, you simply cannot do this with hers! I've even gone so far as thinking she may have ADHD! I would never suggest this to her mum for fear of offending her, but as we're having a big get together soon with some other mums and their children, I'm going to observe whether this child interacts well with other children and only clashes with mine, or if she does it with all of them...

Hey ho, we'll enjoy our holiday no matter what!