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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

What do you do if you think your child may have a problem?

26 replies

rickman · 25/10/2005 22:51

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Blossomhowl · 25/10/2005 22:52

Rickman - It really depends what kind of behaviour your ds is displaying really. Without knowing anymore it's hard to tell. How old is he?

Original poster

rickman · 25/10/2005 22:53

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Blossomhowl · 25/10/2005 22:55

Only if you want to Rickman. Behavioural problems are so broad and can have so many different causes iykwim. I am here though if u need to talk!

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rickman · 25/10/2005 23:00

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Blossomhowl · 25/10/2005 23:10

Have school mentioned anything? That's usually a good indicator of how things are.

Blossomhowl · 25/10/2005 23:11

Oops sorry you mentioned school. Maybe have a chat with his teacher when they go back?

misdee · 25/10/2005 23:12

rickman, i think my dd2 has problems, and because the docs wont listen i am hoping that pre-school will either pick up on it or declare her normal (which would make me a neurotic mother)

ScummyMummy · 25/10/2005 23:17

Could well be he's being a boy rather than anything more worrying.
Are his school very concerned?

rummum · 25/10/2005 23:23

Rickman.. have you tried fish oils.... I reckon they worked for my kids, also cutting out sugary and crap food worked as well...
What about his Pre-school or nursery, what did they say about him...

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rickman · 25/10/2005 23:44

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rummum · 25/10/2005 23:52

I'm a firm believer in mums know best so follow your instincts...
Have you had parents evening yet?

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rickman · 25/10/2005 23:58

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rummum · 26/10/2005 00:00

How old it he??
what year is he in??

Did the teacher say how they were going to help him?

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rickman · 26/10/2005 00:04

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rummum · 26/10/2005 00:08

he's still quite young...
not to sure of the teacher's method of getting him to write... he has to sit outside the classroom. what did you think of that idea?? does it work...

Original poster

rickman · 26/10/2005 00:13

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rummum · 26/10/2005 00:17

Will bump this in the morning for you Rickman...

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rickman · 26/10/2005 00:20

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rummum · 26/10/2005 00:23

try not to worry too much... I know how things go over in your mind in bed instead of sleeping...
Some one will come along tomorrow with some good advice I'm sure...

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rickman · 26/10/2005 09:53

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binkie · 26/10/2005 10:06

There are quite a few little boys like that, rickman - mine is not unlike yours, and there's a thread going on elsewhere about how relieved some of us are to find others. Think I would say two things:

definitely do take up any help or suggestions that come your way (SENCO observation, ed psych consultation, etc.) - it'll be source of perspective and ideas even if (as is most probably the case) it won't tell you anything conclusive; and
from comparing my experience to others', if there is something really really troubling (Aspergers may be in your mind) I think you would be feeling much worse - altogether at the end of your tether with him, rather than in a state of hearing alarm bells. My ds (who's 6.5) has caused us lots of school problems, and is capable of being amazingly silly, disorganised and immature, but he's never made me climb the walls. And I think that's the difference.

Hope that's helpful?

coppertop · 26/10/2005 10:07

My ds1 (5 and in Yr1) also has trouble with writing. His Reception teacher explained that at that stage it was hard to tell whether it was because of his SN, his age or because he is a boy and boys tend to find writing more difficult.

He's now in Yr1 and still finds it hard to write things down. He can form the letters and will even verbally spell out the words but finds it hard to put anything on paper. His teacher has explained that she needs to have something on paper because the staff have to collect evidence of work throughout the year but has taken a very different approach to your ds' teacher. When the other children are given jumbled up sentences to put in order and copy, ds1 is allowed to just glue the words on to his paper rather than write them out. It takes the pressure off him, gives him a chance to prove that he really can do the exercise, and also gives the teacher the evidence she needs. If he needs motivation to write, eg in spelling tests, he is allowed to go and sit with the teaching assistant and sh gives him the extra time and encouragement he needs to get the words on to paper. Threatening to send him elsewhere by himself would have no effect on him whatsoever.

It sounds like it could be worth speaking to the SENCO and maybe even asking to see the Ed.Psych.

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rickman · 26/10/2005 10:18

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sunnydelight · 26/10/2005 10:19

Lots of boys find it hard to concentrate, and many continue to run around like maniacs far longer than you would think necessary, so you may be worried about nothing. However, I'm a great believer in identifying any problems sooner rather than later so they can be dealt with. Some of the stuff you describe (in fact everything other than highly emotional) applied to my son at that age. He started getting extra help for reading and writing by year 2, but wasn't finally assessed as dyslexic until he was nearly at the end of primary school. I was so worried about him by the beginning of year 5 that I moved him to an independent school that didn't follow the national curriculum thinking that the smaller classes and less pressure would help, but even at that stage everyone was swearing that he "just needed some extra help". When he was finally assessed (privately) the school he was at promised lots but basically did nothing; then when he went to (state) secondary school it was implied that all his problems stemmed from the fact that I had sent him to an "alternative school" (completely ignoring the fact that he was mainstream for the majority of the time). He is now at another state secondary school that believes in supporting kids within class rather than taking them out to LSU (learning support unit). There is at least one extra adult in every class he is in, which is not only great for him and the other children who need help, but as the support is available to any child who asks I find it also stops the resentment caused when your child is perceived to be "draining resources"! Of course I am not saying your child is dyslexic - you need a competent educational psychologist to do a proper assessment - but it does seem like it may be worth pursuing. You can ask for an assessmsent to be done through the school, but if they aren't particularly concerned you could be waiting an awful long time (if you get there at all). If you can afford it I would have him assessed privately - at least you then know what you are dealing with and can try and access services accordingly.

binkie · 26/10/2005 10:34

Here you are rickman, other thread - it is around the issue of AS, though, so may be less relevant.

I think my sense that you would be climbing the walls applies to ADD too, though.

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