2 year old DD clamping legs shut while nappy changing

[blanchedevereaux]

Looking for some advice on what to do with DD who is 27 months. She had a few bad cases of nappy rash at nursery about 3 months ago that we kept having to have words about and I think it stems from that.

When she has pooed she will not let me clean her at all. She clamps her legs shut, tells me to stop and that is sore and even though I can spend 5-10 minutes talking to her to try and persuade her to open her legs so I can gently wipe it ends up with me or DH having to force her legs open to get her even remotely clean.

I have tried asking her to wipe herself but she justs waves the wipe in the right direction really, tried wipes with no alcohol, cotton wool and water, standing up, or her knees, even getting her in the bath but it always ends in tears and with me having to be quite rough to get her clean. So we end up in a vicious circle when I think I am basically making it worse. However, I cannot leave her completely dirty and she just will not open her legs voluntary.

We are going to try potty training over Easter as my DH is off work for 2 weeks but I can't really bring it forward as I've just had another baby and I can't juggle both. Also, she is quite reluctant to tell me she has pooed atm as she is obviously dreading the nappy change that follows!

After she is clean and the tears have stopped she tells me that she knows she needs to open her legs to get clean but in the heat of the moment it all goes pear shaped again.

Any tips to help me get this situation sorted?

Not want to scare monger, but as she is at nursery could anything be happening there which has scared her?

how about washing her in the shower instead of cleaning with wipes

I would consider bringing potty training forward, it might not be as bad as you are thinking, dd was trained at 2 when ds was tiny and it wasnt too bad. I was dreading training ds and he was super easy

I realise its not always practical, but have you thought of giving her a bath to get rid of the poo.

I would also suggest having her bare bottom to get rid of the nappy rash. (I realise this is not great for your carpets.)

Have tried introducing the potty to her in a gentle fashion. Ie. getting her to sit on it while you do something nice like read a book.

Thanks for replies.

I do think it was the really bad nappy rash at nursery that did start it. I don't think it is more sinister than that but she is very sensitive to dirty nappies and at home we know straight away when she needs changing. However, in a room of perhaps 15 kids, maybe it wasn't as easy so we were finding she was getting persistent nappy rash when she was there. We have moved to a nursery closer to home when I started maternity leave and she is wearing pulls ups and using the potty now and actually telling the staff when she is dirty so now nappy rash isn't the problem.

She is pretty good at using the potty so maybe I should bring training forward, I don't think we can go on like this for a month. Shower and bath are good ideas. I'm nearly in tears too when she thinks I am hurting her.

Have you tried changing make of wipes--she may be reacting to something in them or just using cotton wool and water for a while?hope you get it sorted,

I wouldnt do a sit down bath, could cause an infection (and make the whole thing worse)

blanche, we have just encountered this with DD who is 2 on weds. She has been having v bad nappies and getting a rash esp at nursery. Its obviously sore at times and its causing her to dread pooey nappy changing even if not sore right then (iykwim). We stood her in the bath today with the shower head on really cool and I was amazed how well she coped - she even got the giggles when we swooshed it around . She's not much of a water baby so it was a bit of a last resort. I agree that the clamped legs and howling is horrid.
I'm going to leave cotton wool at nursery too and try that. The nappies are much worse there than at home. No idea at moment why!
Hope it gets better soon. Congrats on the new baby. I have no 2 due in 7 weeks and am v nervous of life with two!!