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8 y/o DD - no respect for material objects

7 replies

KitKat84 · 19/03/2011 20:34

My DD is 8 and has no respect for anything. She is heavy handed with stuff, has no patience and doesn't listen when I ask her not to do something.

She has been told repeatedly not to open her window, she has to stand on her windowsill to do it and it's danergous. Despite being told she will do it over and over again. Last month she did it and slipped off the windowsill pulling down the curtain rail. I put a roller blind in instead and told her again to not touch the window. Today she managed to break the chord on the roller blind and then pull the actual blind off the roller. She said she did it whilst trying to open the blind but there is no way she could have caused that much damage unless she was standing on her window sill and pulling on it. Plus the fact her window was open was a bit of a giveway!

Today she also swung on her cupboard door and ripped it off the hinges despite being told countless times before that doors are for opening/closing and not for swinging on.

She has also drawn on the outside wall with chalk despite being told specifically not to about 3 minutes before she did it. She knows she is allowed to draw on the patio with the chalk but not the walls.

The list goes on and on. She breaks her toys, her brother's toys, her toy box, her fairy lights ....

I really don't know what to do. Do I replace the things like her blind and toybox? Do I fix the cupboard door? Or do I just leave it all as a consequence for her actions?

I don't think she does it as a deliberate (to be difficult or nasty) thing but it has to be deliberate to some extent because at 8 years old, she knows perfectly well what "don't touch _" means.

Are there any words of wisdom to try and get her to respect her things a little bit more?
I got really cross with her today and I feel a bit guilty but there's only so much I can take and I definitely cannot afford to keep replacing everything. I threatened to take the money out of her savings account to replace it and she started crying and saying she was sorry. I know she is sorry for breaking things but she still doesn't do what she's told. I feel like I am talking to a brick wall.

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nannyl · 19/03/2011 22:38

no suggestions about the rest but can the window be locked closed? or fit a lock to it etc...
she sounds clumsy and wouldnt want her to fall out the window while standing on the window sill.
You can tell her that you are doing it and why... she clearly wont do as told so now you are treating are insuring she cant.
Perhaps when she is more careful andc shows respect for property lock can be removed or unlocked?

KitKat84 · 19/03/2011 22:47

She wouldn't be able to fall out, if she stands o nthe window sill she can just about touch the handle with the top of her head and can lift her arm right up to open it but unless she develops spider man like qualities (!) it is impossible for her to climb up to it. The danger is more her slipping o nthe window sill andfalling into her bedroom hitting her face on the way down which I think she did earlier when wrecking her blind.

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KatharineClifton · 19/03/2011 22:56

If you permanently locked the window she wouldn't be at risk of doing that though as there would be no point her being there.

As for replacing or fixing things - why would you if they are going to be broken again? I wouldn't.

KatharineClifton · 19/03/2011 22:56

Does your DD do anything like like ballet to improve her co-ordination? Is she dyspraxic?

KitKat84 · 19/03/2011 23:02

The window has been locked in the past but she doesn't need an excuse to be there. I am not replacing her fairy lights or any toys she breaks but what about things like toy boxes and a blind/curtain for the window? Do I make her sleep without a blind in her room?
Her issue is mindless destruction of things that have cost money, I'd rather she didn't break/ruin the rest of the stuff in the house.Confused

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KitKat84 · 19/03/2011 23:06

She does sports after school once a week but finances can't stretch to anything else (especially if she keeps breaking everything!)
I don't think she's dyspraxic, the symptoms don't match and I'd have thought it would have been picked up by now.

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Bellola · 19/03/2011 23:22

Does your DD get pocket money?

If so then my suggestion would be that she uses it to replace the broken blind and cupboard door. This worked with DS (7) when he broke his bedroom door.

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