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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

breaking bottle habit in 5 year old

26 replies

frannyzooey · 18/03/2011 20:33

My five year old still has a bottle at bedtime and if he wakes in the night. What doesn't help is that his 3 year old brother has one as well so I will have to break them of the habit at the same time. 5 year old's first tooth is wobbly so it really is time to stop now. Have tried switching to water in bottles but we relapsed. Have tried bottle at storytime but they really need to be sucking away to fall asleep. I have the feeling that when the bottles aren't there they will cope, that they are only hanging on out of habit. Any ideas? I would like it to be a positive decision rather than a "throw bottles in the bin" move. Contrary to what you might think, the boys and I are all healthy, happy and well adjusted people! My 9 year old is really annoyed with the two of them though and I felt quite embarassed when 3 year old ran into the school playground with a bottle in his mouth this week.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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messytimemum · 18/03/2011 21:30

No advice i'm afraid, but will be watching thread with interest as is about time DD2 and DS got off the bottles.
Like you we just let them get on with it and weren't really worried about when they would give up (we're from the school of let children grow up at their own pace). And yes, we are all well adjusted, healthy and happy people as well, so obviously doesn't seem to do any harm.

Can understand the not wanting to throw bottles in the bin way, seems cruel doesn't it?
Wouldn't feel embarassed about your youngest DD, lots of 3yr olds still have bottles.

MakeAnotherCuppa · 18/03/2011 22:18

my DD is 3.2 and also has a bottle still at night and wakes in the night too.

DD gave her dummies to the easter bunny last year (worked very well) and this is the route we are taking with the bottles too, we have been telling her now for a few weeks and she is choosing a nice gift bag to put them in to leave for him! we have told her he will leave her a nice new big girls cup and shes very excited and asked for a charlie and lola one.

we are going to do another egg hunt in her grandmas garden,like we did with her dummies (as i dont want her to think her bottles are in our garden) she leaves the bottles on the door handle, we go in the other room to look for the bunny then we go back and 'oh look he's been'

I know DD will still ask for her bottle the first night or so but she'll soon get use to drinking her milk downstairs and hopfully sleep through the night too!

hope this helps :)

kreecherlivesupstairs · 20/03/2011 09:33

Do you mean an actual bottle with milk in it? I think they should be drinking from a cup by that age. OTOH, DD still takes a cup with a spout to bed with water in it. She knocks non lidded cups all over the place otherwise.

Original poster

frannyzooey · 22/03/2011 17:31

Yes they do still have actual bottles with milk in them! As my 10 year old happily gave up his bottle aged 2, I never assumed my two later ones would become so attached to theirs. Think the Easter bunny idea is a good one, I have discussed stopping and they seem ok about the idea ...

OP posts:

painfullyhonest · 23/03/2011 21:54

I was pretty brutal with DD and one night after washing the bottle and checking the teat for the umpteenth time I said right, you're having milk in this (anywayup) cup and we had story time with her sipping the milk, then I put her in bed with the cup and said she could keep drinking it in bed, and that was that. She wasn't remotely fussed and I wished I'd stopped earlier!! She was nearly 2 I think.

evolucy7 · 23/03/2011 22:43

Bottles are for babies, I think you need to be brutal.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 23/03/2011 22:50

You need to be nothing of the sort. You wouldn't dream of 'brutally' taking away their teddy or blankie if they'd latched onto that instead of a bottle so why is it ok for this? I have a 3yo who loves her bottle and we are working up to getting rid of it. I have no intention of being brutal about it.

If you feel they are ready to give it up then the Easter bunny sounds like a plan. And dont worry about what anyone else thinks. I wouldn't dream of taking away dd's comfort object just because someone else's judgy pants are too tight. Do what's right for your dcs and you, sod everyone else.

evolucy7 · 23/03/2011 22:56

But bottle are for babies, teddies aren't!

Danthe4th · 23/03/2011 23:00

I would get both children involved in choosing a couple of gifts that they will swap for the bottles.
You can make it a big event if you wish 'a goodbye party' with a cake and the present wrapped up.
Then cut up the teats and crush the bottles with a hammer, they should enjoy that bit!!
Then in the morning you could have another present wrapped up for them to open as a well done gift.
The week before you could try only having them at bedtime and not taking them out, depends how you think they will cope with going cold turkey.
good luck

BooyHoo · 23/03/2011 23:04

"But bottle are for babies, teddies aren't!"

the child doesn't see it that way and may be as attatched to a bottle as a teddy. no need for this to be traumatic.

evolucy7 · 23/03/2011 23:15

Yes if they have been allowed to be beyond being a baby!

By brutal I guess I actually mean just get on with it, my 2 DDs sucked their thumbs I decided after a visit to the dentist that they needed to stop, so we got some nail biting stuff, they got 50p in the morning each night they didn't suck their thumbs and lo and behold they stopped straightaway! No 'fairies' or 'parties'

NonnoMum · 23/03/2011 23:19

Watching with interest...

BooyHoo · 23/03/2011 23:24

"No 'fairies' or 'parties' "

some parents like to do nice things for their children. it's ok if you dont but dont judge others for their way of doing things. not all children can cope with 'tough love'.

Kleftico · 23/03/2011 23:30

Mmh having similar issues with the dummy and my almost 3 yr old DD. dS gave up the dummy at 2 by chucking it in the bin voluntarily. DD not having a bar of that!!
I tend to think what's the harm, it's only bedtime. But presume you just have old bottles and they are deteriorating so that could be one way of getting rid. But what about sleepovers or using a bit of peer pressure? Don't out them, but ask if they think their friends have bottles?

Kleftico · 23/03/2011 23:32

I'm considering the money bribe and nail bite stuff on the dummies now.

MadameDefarge · 23/03/2011 23:35

My ds gave up on his fifth birthday. We talked a lot about it before, and he decided to give his bottles to a baby that needed them (ahem).

he is 10 and I think he still kinds of misses it, but he is dyspraxic, so I think that had a lot to do with his attachment to it. A very comforting sensation in a world full of "hurting" sensations.

Original poster

frannyzooey · 24/03/2011 14:35

Thanks everyone for all these good ideas, I don't think my boys would give up the bottles for 50p, they are too attached to them! I think what evolucy meant by being "brutal" is right in that they should just get on with quitting - secretely I am sure they are ready to give up the bottles and are only hanging on out of habit, and will probably sleep better if they are not fussing around looking for them in the night. That's not about forcing them to conform to other children's timetables, it's about doing what's best for them. I do think the bottle is as much of a comforter as a teddy and should be respected as such. I like the idea of the party (and the scissors!) and perhaps their new toys could be comforting type things. I don't agree with readers judging me and them because we don't conform to a parenting timetable. We're not on a time trial obstacle course here, this is meant to be fun. We had a family breakup 14 months ago and this is partly why I've delayed this step. I feel they needed a bit of extra time!

OP posts:

TheVisitor · 24/03/2011 14:37

The bottle fairy. They leave them in a bag overnight and in the morning, the bottles are gone and a present is in their place. Make sure the bottles are well and truly gone in the outside bin though! For their teeth's sake, you need to do this. Milk is a tooth rotter when left in the mouth all night. x

GwendolineMaryLacey · 24/03/2011 15:42

Yes if they have been allowed to be beyond being a baby!

Horse manure. A small child having a comfort item doesn't mean they've been babied. Sure you don't need to let the waistband out on those judgy pants a bit?

fustyarse · 24/03/2011 16:05

my dd was very attached to her bottles, esp at night as part of her bedtime routine

what did it for us was a trip to the dentist - he told me that her teeth were starting to show signs of acid erosion - at that point it was minimal but he said if she continued with the bottle it would get worse. I then explained to her what the dentist said and that he said she was too big a girl for her baby bottle now; I didn't force the issue and she quite happily stopped using the bottle that day. She was about 3 1/2 I think. With ds1 he was stll using his up to the age of 4 - I started telling himhe was getting far to big and after a few weeks (months?I'm a wimp) of repeating this I finally said one day that enough was enough- he agreed readily and it wasn't a difficulty.

What would happen if you just said he needed to stop?
Could you play on the 'you're such a big grow-up boy now' bit?

messytimemum · 24/03/2011 19:53

well said gwendoline on both posts, couldn't have put it better myself :)

Franny - don't let other people get to you, some people have nothing better to do than judge. I'm with you about people judging because you haven't done this at that age, or you've done this when you should've done that,etc. The amount of times i've had people give me dirty looks because i'm letting my children grow up at their own pace, so what if they still have a bottle at 5? Whose to say still being in a buggy at 4 is wrong? (My DD2 &DD love theirs) They are only little once, let them enjoy it. As you've said, its not a race, childhood is supposed to be fun!

Don't feel pressured into anything, i believe you did the right thing by giving them time after the family breakup. Don't let anyone else tell you different.

evolucy7 · 24/03/2011 21:24

As Fustyarse said, it is not good for teeth for one thing.

Gwendoline...bottles are for a baby to drink out of, that is their purpose. I don't think that children over 1 should be drinking out of bottles, that is my view, and oddly enough that of health professionals too.

The OP now wants to stop the bottles and has asked for advice and experiences. I have said that I think that the just get on with it approach is best. It is all very well saying they are only little don't worry, but it is not good for their teeth, nothing to do with being a race or anything. They might like to eat sweets all day, that would be fun, but you wouldn't allow that.

messytimemum...unless a 4 year would be required to walk a very long way regularly then I would think that being in a buggy is not healthy, regardless of whether they like it or not.

Original poster

frannyzooey · 02/04/2011 08:40

Hi it's Franny, For anyone who might be interested, both boys kicked the habit five nights ago. We took the bottles out to the bin (5 year old crying the whole time), and when we got back to the house there were lego sets from the bottle fairy and a new cuddly toy each. They have a chocolate drink at bedtime with their story and although it takes them a lot longer to settle and they are still asking if they can have the bottles back, they are sleeping much better at night and are not that upset. I'm glad we didn't do this earlier though. With the family troubles sometimes you have to forget about sticking to a rigid schedule and make sure it's the right time for them. Thanks everyone for the good ideas!

OP posts:

OnEdge · 02/04/2011 08:44

i am in the process with my 18 m son. Have to provide him with lots of emotional support because he is really suffering. I would be happy to leave it but it gives him tummy ache in the night and the whole family were not sleeping because of it. Also he didn't eat much food, because he was drinking milk all day.

OnEdge · 02/04/2011 08:45

Forgot to say, I use milky buttons now as a substitute, sometimes he is so pissed off, it just relieves the misery.

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