My sister is really struggling with her 8yr old DD, she is not sure where to turn

[SupersonicDave]

My sister has 2 DD's, one is 8 and one is 4. They have different dads, the 8yo doesn't see her dad but she calls her step-dad 'Dad'

She still wets the bed a couple of times a week. She gets into trouble at school, yesterday my sis heard a knock at the door - DD had climbed out of her window and gone round to the front door. She has recently moved school and is getting on better, but at the last school she bit a teacher and was constantly fighting. My sister has tried different approaches to her behaviour, but her DD just acts like she doesn't care. My sister doesn't get a lot of back up wrt discipline from her DP.

My niece is the sweetest child, so loving and kind, is tiny for her age, she looks like a little fairy. But my sister is so down about what to do with her.

Does anyone have any advice i can give her? Any place she can turn to?

Would she come on here Dave? I am sure people would be happy to support her/offer advice.

Could your sister speak to your niece's teacher to see what he or she suggests? We haven't had significant issues with my dds, but the class teacher has always been very helpful if we have approached him.

In some areas it is possible to access a parenting course, perhaps your sister would consider something like this?

I would find out who the school nurse is. Not a first aider who works at the school but the named nurse(from either the local school nursing team or 0-19 team) for the school the child attends. She will be able to offer help and advice on bed wetting and will have suggestions for behaviour.

Her local children's centre may have some ideas, they are generally for the under 5's but may have knowledge of what is available locally.

Thank you

She was meeting with the teacher today (with her DD) and the school have mentioned a play therapist(?)

She thinks the bed wetting is behavioural, due to the fact she does it almost in retaliation for being told off for something, but i am not sure it is that straight forward. She tried to speak to her HV, but they said there is nothing they can do as she is over 5.

She does sometimes come on here, but she worries about talking about her DD in case somebody recognises her and it complicates things. She is happy for me to post on here on her behalf though.

The school nurse kind of takes over from the health visitor once a child is of school age. The health visitor should have the number for the school nurse or the school secretary will know how to make contact.

It sounds as if the teacher is listening if they are sorting something out (play therapist)

Yes, this school seem to be very on the ball. The 3rd day he was there they asked my sister if her DD had ADHD (was it something that had been mentioned etc?) whereas the other school told my sis that girls can't have it and that her behaviour was a serious problem, put her in the 'remedial' group and she was bored. This new school has given her awards for maths and writing and there has been a huge improvement.

My sister was very similar at this age and also wet the bed for a long time.

I will tell her about the school nurse, thank you.

She, not he (damned netbook keypad!)

I think that there may be a link with the bedwetting. i.e. if your sister was quite late to be dry at night then it means that your niece may be more likely to have the same experience.

If you have time to a little search on it, there are some older threads I think. (I remember being reassured when my oldest dd seemed "late" when in fact she wasn't at all)

Thank you, i will let her know