Shyness - what do you do?

[WreckoftheHesperus]

DD (3) is crippling shy with new people or even friends and family that she hasn't seen for a few weeks. She often refuses to speak and hides under the table, or hides in my arms. She warms up usually eventually, but needs an hour or so which we sometimes just don't have in social situtions.

It is getting embarrassing as she gets older, and seems to snub friends and greandparents!

I have tried jollying her along and explaining that it makes people sad if she isn't friendly when they try to be friendly; what more can I do to help?

I was a very shy child. I found the more people commented on it the worse it made me feel - it made feel as if everyone was looking at me. Please ignore it and let her come out of her shell in her own time.

FWIW, I am now quite outgoing and although secretly I don't like new situations, meeting new people or being centre of attention, I don't think anyone would call me shy!

I was like this at her age. It's part of her personality so I wouldn't try to make it seem negative.

As I got older, my parents encouraged me to do things such as drama to 'bring me out of myself'. I loved it and still do it to this date.

However, I will always be somewhat of an introvert and find social occasions quite stressful. It hasn't stopped me from going to University and fast-tracking to the top of my profession which does involve making presentations to senior clients.

It's just who I am and you have to accept that this is just how she is too.

Sorry meant to say, try and build her self confidence in other ways, rather than jollying her out of her shyness. She is only 3, so friends and grandparents should understand!

DD was very much the same - when I left her at nursery in her first term, I heard one of the other children ask if she did ever speak. She wouldn't say hello, or goodbye, or wave or talk to anyone she hadn't known for a long time. She's now 4 and has pretty much got over it. As other people have said, we realised that the more we tried to force her, the worse it got.

I was also shy, and although I used to work in a very outgoing profession, I still think I'm just a well-trained introvert!

thanks all; I too was shy (much worse than DD), and am also now outgoing in social situations, so I know that it changes, but I wanted to be able to help her deal with it now....guess I just need to be patient