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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Nearly 3 and won't potty train!!

16 replies

cashmeregoat · 16/03/2011 21:11

My DD is nearly 3 and understands what the potty and toilet are for but won't use them. She won't even tell us when she's done a poo in her nappy.
She will occasionally use the toilet for a wee but refuses to wear pants. When we've tried she just wees where she is and says 'I've done a wee' calmly. We've tried...
Sticker rewards
Sweetie rewards
Not reacting badly when she has an accident
Just relaxing and deciding to leave it till 'she's ready'
I'm assuming this is some kind of power/control thing as in ... 'you can't make me.'
Any advice please?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Bumperlicious · 16/03/2011 21:27

Do you have a garden? If so wait till the summer and just let her run around naked. DD1 was 3 last June and she only cracked potty training in the summer.

Cat98 · 16/03/2011 21:50

We have the same issues here cashmere goat. I don't really believe in the "reward" thing for potty training, but other than that we have tried lots of things.. imo ds is physically ready - he just doesn't want to!

We have decided to leave it completely for a few more weeks and see how we get on then.

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 16/03/2011 21:55

Watching with interest as ds2 is just the same. He often asks to have his nappy taken off, but then askes for another to be put on for him to wee or poo in. He's chosen pants but won't try them on.

We've not taken the plunge to really go for it yet, I think waiting for warmer weather could be a key factor. He'll start 1/2 days in school after the summer so we need him dry in the day in time for that.

MmeLindt · 16/03/2011 21:58

Stop panicking.

She is not yet 3yo.

Many children are not ready at that age. She might not physically be able to tell that her bladder is full.

Wait for a while then try again.

MmeLindt · 16/03/2011 21:59

Sorry, just re-read that. It was a bit rude. You are not panicking.

But perhaps getting a bit worried about it. And there is no need. Honestly.

Original poster

cashmeregoat · 16/03/2011 22:06

You're right, I do panic a (teeny tiny) bit.

It's nice to hear others are in the same situation. Whenever I speak to another parent of a similar age child Id loke to ask 'are they potty trained yet?' but daren't.

The summer sounds like good advice.

OP posts:

simpson · 16/03/2011 22:10

DD was 3 in jan and I treid to potty train her when she was 2.10 and she was having none of it

I tried again a few wks ago and she got it in 3 days so I guess its a question of waiting till they are ready...

I also think its soooo much easier to wait till they are ready as they "get it" much quicker iyswim rather than mopping up wee/poo

MmeLindt · 16/03/2011 22:10

DS was over 3yo and just not getting it.

We put him back into nappies then about a month later he suddenly declared that he was a big boy and that he wanted big boy pants.

She will get there.

MmeLindt · 16/03/2011 22:12

yy, simpsom.

I read research somewhere (I have forgotten where, it was when my DS was potty training) that stated that the later you leave it, the quicker they are dry.

Why spend months cleaning up wee and poo when you can be done and dusted in days?

TheNumberTaker · 16/03/2011 23:22

My DD has just turned 3 and, whilst knowing exactly what to do re using the potty and toilet, will sometimes, won't often, depending on the weather. There's really no rhyme or reason to it. I invite her to wear pants in the house and don't make an issue if she refuses. I have not tried to make her wear pants when we are outside, and we've had/will be having various upheavals in our lives in the near future, so I'm not pushing her. A wise friend told me that DD is unlikely to be wearing a nappy by the time she goes to school, and that's really all I need to worry about. I'm holding onto that one.

Not sure if that's helpful, just wanted you to know you're not alone.

Podster · 16/03/2011 23:53

Glad I'm not alone. DD1 is 3 in April and point blank refusing. She gets it, understands, we have the odd week when she will wear pants of her own accord, but generally won't and even when she does she either witholds and will go 4-5 hours without doing anything or just does it in her pants and doesn't even tell me.
Am getting a bit worried, but I think the issue is more her personality type rather than not understanding. She is very stubborn and won't be pushed into anything and doesn't like change. We have very similar issues with food and her general reluctance to eat anything apart the same 5 foods ......

sparkle1977 · 17/03/2011 11:06

My DS is the same too, he is 3 in May and point blank refusing to wear pants / use potty or toilet. We are going to give it a rest and try again in a few weeks or so.

My other DS was potty trained at 3 after again refusing pants/potty/toilet for months on end. Then we had another go some months later and he just got it and only had one wee accident, however poo accidents were a bit harder to crack but still not that bad.

As others have said there will be a time when they will just "get it".

TheNumberTaker · 17/03/2011 13:10

Podster, mine has an extremely limited diet too (6/7 foodstuffs), although when we took her to a paediatrician, he said she was getting enough of all the food groups and she is the picture of health, the little monkey! With our DD, it's all psychological, she's had a fear of pooing, which she is slowly getting through with the help of a bit of Movicol and lots of praise.

ERIC is a good organisation to contact if you are really worried, OP.

thumbwitch · 17/03/2011 13:16

DS is 3.3 now, and still hasn't got the hang of it although we're starting to see a breakthrough in this last week. He likes his nappies though - likes the security of them, so even if I try to let him run around bare-bummed, he will still come and ask for his nappy.

He has got around to weeing in the potty though, and yesterday he did a poo on demand in the loo, despite saying he didn't need to - but he's not too good at recognising the signs that he needs to go so he's still not ready and I am not going to force the issue.

I don't really care if every other kid in his playgroup is potty-trained before him - he will do it when he's ready.

B52s · 18/03/2011 15:05

DS was 3.10 when he started to wee in the toilet, was just 4 when he started to do his poos in the toilet. My friends were horrified it was so late, but it didn't bother me as he simply wasn't ready any earlier.

No-one goes to school in nappies, so they all get it eventually.

cheapFlower · 18/03/2011 15:10

have a DD (3.1). also sort of immune to potty training.

some children are simply not ready by the time th are three.

well, guess this wasn't really helpful but rest assured - your DD is not the only one in nappies at 3!

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