3.5 DS suddenly losing plot at being left with nanny - help!

[RamonaFlowers]

We've had our fabulous nanny with us for 18 months now. She's amazing with the kids and have always been so excited to see her at the start of every day, clinging on to her ankles when she leaves at the end of the day etc. She's really warm and creative and seems to actually, genuinely be interested in role-playing with lego characters , for e.g.

Anyway, long story short, I had an accident around Christmas that meant I was at home for about 6 weeks, but unable to get out of bed. DS found this very confusing . When I returned to work, things got better, but somehow it seems to have had quite an impact on his relationship with our lovely nanny.

He's basically gone from wanting to marry her to crying when we DH and I walk out of the door each day. He's always happy as Larry when we get home, and nanny says the crying stops within 5 mins of us going, but he does wake up everyday asking the same question: "who will be looking after me today?" and if I say our nanny, he just goes on an instant downer.

He is in pre-school, and starts reception in September.

What can I do? Just ride it out? Weird thing is, the behaviour didn't start until about 3 weeks ago maybe, and I've been back at work since early Jan.

Sounds like separation anxiety. Have you discussed with him, in a way he understands, about your accident and why you were then in bed for so long? Does he now understand that you are better again, so can now do fun things with him at weekends (or whenever it is you are not working).

Does your nanny work fixed days? Thus the timetable is always the same. Perhaps try drawing up a pictorial timetable with him, so he can see who is caring for him on which days.

He may also be anxious about school if people have been mentioning that to him. Avoid mentioning it too much, September is a long time away for a young child.

You need to ride it out but try to keep things in a routine so he adjusts back to that routine again. Reassure him about any worries he has.

Thanks nannynick. You helped me long ago when I hired this nanny, but I had a different name then. I think I started a thread in celebration of you....

No, we haven't talked about school, but your other advice is really good and sound. I think I underestimate his comprehension because his speech isn't as advanced as our DD's was at the same age.

The chart is a good idea. Yes, our nanny works fixed days, four days a week, but the fifth working day can vary in terms of who is looking after the children, and it's not a Friday, so I can see how for a small boy, the pattern of childcare isn't completely easy to get a grasp on.

I will talk to him about the accident. Good idea. I haven't done that, at all.