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Nightime fears, really need some help and advice. (a bit long sorry)

5 replies

cep · 12/03/2011 09:18

Really need some advice, My ds is coming up to 34 months, i have never had any problems putting him to bed (didn't always sleep through but always went to bed ok). Suddenly wednesday night he starts not wanting to go to bed, keeps climbing out running off etc. not for very long though after a few attempts he stayed in bed and read. Friday morning he woke up at 1am and stayed awake until 4am, mostly staying in his room but repeatedly coming into ours, eventually (when i lost the plot a bit) he said he was scared, and when i asked of what he was pointing at toys and things that had never scared him before. So i took the toys out of sight (not convinced they were the problem). When i picked him up from nursery i asked him to show me in his room what was scaring him, he pointed to the gap between his chest of drawers and the wall, the drawers are as close as they can get due to the top lip of the dresser. we pulled it out and showed him nothing was there and he seemed happy enough saying oh it's gone now. no problem was saying not scared anymore for the rest of the day, until bedtime. He was hysterical screaming, wouldn't stay in bed for a second, asked him what was scaring him pointed at another toy, i removed it, then started pointing at his books. I said is that really scaring you and he pointed back to the gap. I think it's the shadows the curtain casts due to the light being on, he wants the light on to go to sleep (another new thing he never needed that until a couple of months ago) Then this morning went to go talk to him about it and found a big wet patch. DS still wears a nappy to bed, his pj's weren't wet so basically he took nappy and pj's off and peed on his bed, that could either be a vivid dream that he'd gone to the toilet (i used to do that when i was little) or he knowingly took them off and peed. I just don't know what move to make next. If anyone has any experience of nightime fears (or even if you don't but have fantastic advice) please help.

OP posts:
mumsiepie · 12/03/2011 18:30

I think this is the age where a child begins to realise the world is not all snug and safe (unless they have been exposed to scary stuff early on).

In the few minutes before a child goes off to sleep they are at their most suggestible (it is called the hypnogogic state) so I would be sitting on his bed at that time maybe stroking his face or arm whispering positive reassuring things eg repeating over and over how everything is fine and "we are all safe in this lovely warm house" and say how mummy (and daddy)know everything is alright and everything is safe.... repeat it over and over and he will take it on board.
Good luck xx

cep · 12/03/2011 19:54

Hi mumsiepie thanks for your reply. Have just put him to bed to then find your comment. Grin we put an extra lamp in his room and let him choose to have it on the table or floor, when i started to put him into bed after reading, he got out and said he was scared, when i said i'd stay in with him he seemed fine with that, he kept opening his eyes to check i was still there but then drifted off. I think it helped he was exhausted though. i'll try the reassuring comments tomorrow i think. Thankyou so much for your help.

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EyeoftheStorm · 12/03/2011 20:13

DS1 did something similar at this age. He was scared of a lion in the garden outside his window. I made up a story about the Man in the Moon who watches over little boys all night and used to tell it to him at bedtime and if it was a clear night we'd look at the moon before settling down.

The Man in the Moon was a good one because he could follow us on holiday as well. Maybe you could do something similar with a toy or object he really likes.

cep · 12/03/2011 22:08

eye that's a good idea, he loves looking out for the moon. Thankyou.

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pranma · 14/03/2011 16:51

My dgs was afraid of the church tower which can be seen from his window-even with the curtain closed he was scared because it was there-wont bore you with all we tried but what worked was standing a plastic[megabloks I think] knight on his table and saying this knight will protect you!He was 3 when the fears started and is now 4.6 and although a bit nervous of the dark is happy with a plug-in night light and always sleeps through.

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