Difficult meal times with 2.4 yo

[bessie26]

DD has always been VERY keen to come to the table to eat her meals , until about a month ago when she started occasionally throwing tantrums about it.

We've tried a variety of things, ignoring her & eating lunch without her, trying to get her to sit down at the table to do some coloring, offering her favourite foods before her main, cutting out snacks/drinks between meals...

Each has had varying success. For example today I managed to lure her into her highchair with crayons, but as soon as I brought out the food (li didn't take the crayons away) she threw a wobbly (and tried to throw the plate) I sat next to her (eating my lunch) and after about 5 mins of screaming she suddenly stopped, started eating some breadsticks & humus, then ate her lunch, and then demanded more! (so she was defn hungry!)

So, has anyone got any other suggestions of what I should do or do I just resign myself to the fact that this is what toddlers do?!

DS1 is sometimes like this when he's particularly tired (He's normally a fab eater too). I just say it's mealtime, and we sit down and eat. After refusing for a few mins (sometimes as much as 10) he will just dig in and eat the whole thing up! You have to sit through the screaming but it's worth it for them to know that it is mealtime, and no tantrum will change that, and you're not going to provide anything different. It should be just a short phase, ride it out!

What worked for us was ditching the highchair and buying a small toddler table and chairs. DS felt more 'grown up' - got him to 'help' pick it too.
He was younger than 2.4 and did fall off a couple of times when experimenting with leaning back - but he soon learnt!
Also, we jiggled the timings of mealtimes around, sometimes if he hadn't eaten breakfast til 9am I was still serving lunch at 12.30 but he actually wouldn't really be hungry uintil much later, around 1.30pm...

Ds is 2.6 and tbh we don't really do mealtimes - he asks for a cereal in the mornings and some other food (and I repeat 'No biscuits for breakfast. We never have biscuits for breakfast' x100. Ditto cake...), and then I'll manage to give him a banana and sandwich at some point, but usually I put his food on the table and get on with something else, and he eats some eventually. Sometimes leftover breakfast or lunch gets eaten for tea!

On the weekend we make aneffort to do proper meals (with snacks to keep him and dn going until then), and enforce no-throwing, eating something before getting down,and similar level of manners. They tend to kneel on big chairs. He and dn are pretty good in restaurants, so I think that's OK.

notcitrus slight hijack alert - how do you enforce no-throwing? This is a recurrent problem with DD (2.2) as is turning her plate over and generally messing with her food. We were away for a few days, and she was much better (1) away from home (she is fine at nursery) and (2) not in her high chair

I would agree with pipkin, ditch the highchair. Get her a booster or sit her at table. Make a big deal of it, maybe give her proper cutlery and a small side plate so she is like Mummy and Daddy.

My 2.4 year old sits at table with us now and will not entertain going in a highchair (which is a bit crap when we are eating out though).

driving - if food gets thrown, then the rest is removed, ds is picked up and put on the floor, and made to pick it all up (or held in place while I clear it up...)

Then no more until he asks for it. It worked well until very recently when he started having a new type of tantrum when he gets too hungry to realise he's hungry. Offering food/juice at regular intervals seems to be the only solution to that one.

When out, there's the option of pure bribery - 'if you eat your xxx nicely, then you can have an icecream after', but generally he's very good if he's got something to munch or chopsticks to wave or grandparents doting on him. Getting a drink with a straw usually works. Except for the recent meal when I spent 45 mintues outside with a howling monster... I don't pretend I've cracked it!!!

Thanks for all your replies!

As she's only doing it occasionally, I'm hoping it's just a tiredness thing like MrsJ suggests. Am hoping it's not the highchair as we've got one of those wooden ones you can sit in forever & she hasn't worked out how to get out of it yet! (#2 due next month) but might try the booster seat out next time she plays up. She's already eating off the same plates as us, & she prefers to eat using her own cutlery to ours (think she likes the pink handles!)
Have also been trying to get her more involved with making the food. She "helped" me make a pie for lunch today & was very excited about getting to eat it

pipkin we have to have breakfast around 8 for that very reason, she's ready for her nap at 130 so have to have lunch by 12 so we have a bit of time to let it digest before sleeping!
So do you all eat at your DSs little table or do you eat at separate tables?

driving if food/plates/cutlery get thrown then they get taken away. I've always tried to be very relaxed at mealtimes, I don't care how much she eats, if most of it ends up on her face or if she uses cutlery (although I do encourage it) but I have never tolerated food or plates being thrown. I figure if I only have one mealtime rule, I'm allowed to be strict about it!!

notcitrus ahhh the magical power of straws! DD also thinks they are fab, especially if they come with a little box of drink! Those Ella squeezy fruit things will work miracles too!

Am I the only one reading this thread to be a little about children of that age either "not really having mealtimes" or having to sit by themselves at a table of their own rather than to sit with everyone else at the dining table?

MrsJamin - DD definitely has set mealtimes, and sits at the table for all snacks and drinks. She more often than not sits with us at mealtimes, but she does occasionally eat her porridge (which she has before we eat breakfast usually) at her little table, looking over the garden. She likes to, and it's easier for her to manage than sitting on a grownup chair at the big table (she's very short!). I think I need to get her some kind of booster seat, but she's been much better about throwing since we took her out of the high chair. She even gets down and 'helps' with the mess (not deliberately created).

driving we have this booster seat, it lives in the boot of my car for when we goto friends or discover that the only restaurant highchair available is one of the real "baby" ones so we haven't used it alot, but am very happy with it. DD is also fairly short so wouldn't be able to reach the table properly just sat on a normal chair!

that looks like just the thing, bessie thanks for the tip. Cheap, too :)