How to handle mega tantrums in a 16mth old?

[pastamouse]

DS is only just 16mths and over the past week has started have major meltdowns at least once or twice in the day as well as once after a night wake up.
This is in addition to the minor wobbles that can be diverted/nipped in the bud or he simply loses interest in.

I knew this phase was coming, but thought DS would be a bit older and didn't realise it'd be quite so bad!

I'm a bit unsure how to handle it with him being quite young.

I know it's just his frustration at not being able to communicate/assert his will/realisation the world doesn't always work the way he wants it to etc. At first I try to reassure him/distract, but this seems to make it worse sometimes, so yesterday we tried ignoring. Dear god I thought he was going to bust a blood vessel!! Went on for about 30mins.

Problem is more at night though.
He's never been the best sleeper. But last night, for example, he woke at 9.30pm and scream/cried with varying intensity for nearly an hour till I gave up and brought him into bed with me. (I had been going in about every 5-10 mins to reassure). He still tantrummed for a good 10mins when in bed with me before he settled.

Suggestions from those who've been through it?
Or solidarity from those who are going through it ?

I discovered at parenting class last week that what we should always do is acknowledge how they are feeling. So if they are angry we should tell them we know they are angry and why and not try to fix it by diverting their attention. Apparently, just like adults, they like to moan at us because they need some empathy. Kinda makes sense and not sure i've explained it very well.

Are you sure he's not teething, or suffering from an ear infection? That can make them incredibly grumpy and miserable.

If it is a genuine tantrum, though, I found the best thing was to leave them in a safe place where they can't hurt themselves (like their cot, if they're not capable of climbing out) and leaving them to it. I'd go in every five minutes to see if they were ready to calm down and be cuddled, but when mine were in full meltdown it made no difference if they were held or not (and actually made things worse if they were held, because of the danger from flailing limbs).

Ta for replies.

Pretty sure he's not teething. Has only his 2nd set of molars to come through and he's quite good with the pain sign.

OK, so I guess if my attempts at diversion/reassurance aren't working, it's a case of move to a safe area and let him thrash it out.

Did anyone's DC have tantrums at night? Is an even worse peroid of broken sleep likely ahead of us???

Hello there, ohhh i sympathise with you, our DS of 21 months has just started his temper tantrums and we have had a 3month period of him wakening through the night 4-7 times a night!!!
He wakens and starts screaming and lashing out and just wont settle back to sleep we try to cuddle him and tell him everythings ok but he tends to get worse. He does suffer from night terrors but along side this many nights he is fully awake and has these screaming episodes i dont know whats causing this although just tonight after an hour of crying iv felt a sharp tooth breaking through at the back of his mouth, soo that could sure be the reason.
Best of luck its hard aint it??