6 year old boy tantrums

[rainbow26]

hello mumsnet.i have just recently joined this site and am after a bit of reassurance and help over my six year old sons behaviour.he is not enjoying school at the moment as he finds the days long and the work tiring.he is very irritable when he comes home from school and is especially worse when he is hungry.as a result of his tiredness and hunger he is prone to mood swings and temper tantrums when not getting his own way.he is also very whingy and reverts to baby talk which is very frustrating.any advice from anyone would be very much appreciated as when he is in a good mood is a lovely and caring little boy.

I think the shock of moving from the free and easy world of Reception into the (sometimes) much more formal and structured world of Y1 can be a huge shock to some children.

If hunger makes hime more irritable, are you able to feed him a little tea as soon as he gets in from school? I do this with my 3DSs and it really helps. They have maybe a boiled egg and soldiers or some pancakes with banana and honey. They then relax (play, draw, watch TV) until their 'proper' tea is ready.

I don't worry at all about homework at this age...if they are doing what they should at school, there is no need to do more at home, IMO. I usually hear them read at breakfast when they are more 'with it'!

If any one of mine is showing symptoms of extreem tiredness, they have lots more snuggles and cuddles and a nice early night (given as a treat, not a punishment, so often tucked up in my bed with a story tape!)

I hope your DS is soon feeling better. Meanwhile, do remember that the tantrums are a way of communicating with you. He may not know what he needs, but if you manage to find out and meet those needs, his behaviour will improve!

thankyou very much for your input its much appreciated.will give your ideas a go.i just need to find a way and for him to show his frustrastion in another way other than tantrums.its a long day in school for him i know-bless him.thanks again.

School can be such a long day when your 6 and I think that the tantrums are just a result of everything being too much for him,you need to try and stop it before it starts if you are walking home from school take a little snack for him,in the morning give him something to look forward to when he comes home in the afternoon a fave tv show or when I made ds bed in the morning I would put his teddy somewhere perhaps in his tent/playing near the trainset/with a book so it looked like Ted had been doing something - he used to dash in to see what Ted had been doing.

It wont be forever as the nights get lighter his mood will improve its just that harder work and cold dark weather makes anyone feel cranky plus he may be having a growth spurt.

I love amistillsexy early bedtime reward .

Nickschick, I love your Ted playing game! I think I'll use that one for DS3 .

Rainbow, I think Nickschick is absolutely right about the lighter evenings making things better. They do seem less tired in the summer months!

Regarding the tantrums, my DS1 has ASD and has alot of tantrums. One way I have learnt to deal with it is to see a tantrum (his are more like a rage! But we call them 'wobbles') as a 'panic attack', or to imagine how I would react if he had burst into tears instead of burst into anger...when you think about it, it's very similar- a way of showing his uncontrolable emotions (we call them 'big feelings'). You would be surprised at the difference this makes to the extent of his 'wobble', and my own feelings as I deal with it.

I know your child hasn't got ASD but sometimes some of the techniques I use for DS1 work like a charm on DS2 and DS3!

thankyou both amistillsexy and nickschick it is nice to have some outside imput.it can be hard to focus on solutions when you are feeling stressed out.i will definatly try giving a light tea before his proper tea and i also love the teddy playing game.brill.it is also nice to know its not just my child having tantrums i thought he was passed the tantrum stage,but school to them is just like a days work to a small child and a they have a lot of emotions they dont know how to deal with yet.thankyou both again.

amistillsexy it was interesting to read that your son has 'wobbles' my ds2 who used to have terrific 'meltdowns' on the way home from school purely through exhaustion (he had a disability then that wasnt recognised ) so bad that I quite often would make the toddler walk and sit 7 yr old ds2 in the buggy .....so it got to a point that by pre empting ds2s reaction meant that I could 'nip it in the bud'.

It didnt used to help when random men would say 'give him a slap that will stop him'.

Ds1 is 17 now and I still (sometimes) put his teddy near his revision notes or sit him with the xbox controller ....he doesnt get as happy about it as he did though .

Rainbow26, I hope some of these ideas work. As I was reading my post I realised I sound as though I am some saintly 'earthmother' who mystically tunes into her son's emotions and keeps calm no matter what.

Just to clarify...the above is just the theory...It's much harder in practice, and I have been heard to yell 'Can we just give the ASD a rest for one bl*y morning for goodness sakes!'

I'm only human and there's only so much saintliness in me!

nickschick, loving the teddy on xbox and revision [pombear]

Oh no, pombear's gone You'll just have to imagine!

amistillsexy:0 god knows we re all the same.lol.and dnt worry didnt get that impression of you it is lovely to have some imput.

as it goes i gave ds1 a light little snack yesterday after school and tried to focus my attentions soely on him for half hour after he came home(which was challenging with ds2 :) ).even though he was tired it seemed to do the trick as he had his mammy all to himself for a while.so thankyou for your ideas the snack was brilliant.

nickschick i am definatley going to do the teddy bear playing idea on monday with ds1 winnie the poo and ds2 george(peppa pig)-cant wait to see their faces :)

it's great to hear things went better for you.

Rainbow - My DS is 5, soon to be 6 and we are having exactly the same thing, so this thread has been very reassuring. My DS bursts into tears a lot at the moment, eats like a horse and is very irritable. I actually work at his school so see him around and about and he is fine then when I collect him at home time he is like a different child :( I've started taking a snack to school for our walk home and letting him chill with a snack and some milk before dinner. I think he must have a growth spurt as he is constantly eating at the moment. He is a minx though as every morning for the last week he is getting up very early and then getting tearful around tea time as he is so tired. I do hope he feels better soon as it's making us all feel sad :(
There is some good advice on the this thread thanks everyone.

berylmuspratt its good to know we r not alone isnt :).your ds sounds exactly like my ds1.he is constantly eating and he too is totally different in school.he wouldnt dream of crying and being grouchy in school.

it can affect the whole family when they behave like this though it can be very trying at times :(.

we have had a lovely day today though spent a lot of time together doing fun things and cuddling on settee watching film.:)

i hope things get easier for you though berylmuspratt as with myself.they are too young to be acting like teenagers yet

amistillsexy just for you -

Thanks Rainbow :) We had a particularly trying day today.

He was up at 6am - argh!! stomping about the house.

Went to a party this afternoon and on the way there, told me he didn't want to go. As I couldn't get in touch with anyone as it was too late in the day, I said oh you'll be fine.

Big mistake.

Walked in the room DS burst into tears, 10 minutes later, I handed over birthday pressie, gave lots of apologies and the little girls Mum was so lovely and gave him a hug and a party bag :(

Anyhoo, we got home and he went to bed and slept for 3 hours, got up for 2 hours, went back to bed at 7.15pm and is fast asleep !!

I do hope this is a phase!!!

Glad you had a lovely day though Rainbow, we are having a low key one and visiting Nana and Grandad tomorrow and have told him NOT to get up early again.

Fingers crossed :o

My DD is also six (turned six at Christmas)She sounds really like your DS,although in her case she was also so unhappy in year one that we had to take her out and we are home-eding at the moment.She is thin,hungry,growing fast,and just doesn't seem to have much in the way of reserves,either physical or emotional.I do wonder whether they have a bit of a blip as their teeth come in,the extra energy being expended or something.Certainly keeping her blood sugar stable seems really to help.

hellymellyits a worrying time isnt it.keeping the blood sugar stable and belly full work for my ds too.

i agree with the teeth theory too,my ds has his back molars coming through so certinaly could be a possibility.

hope things get easier for you and its just a phase:)

berlymuspratt sorry to hear about your bday party fiasco,sounded stressful:(. things will hopefully be better for you tomorrow with a more peaceful day.think i will have one of those myself.:)

hope your day goes a bit better for you tomorrow and you get bit more of a lie in.:)

hellymelly berlymuspratt p.s fell a lot happier now that i know other parents are in same boat as me.thankyou.:)

zuzu how did you do that?

[pombear]...[ pom bear]...[pom bear ]...

Sorry for the hijack, ladies. I'm glad you've had a nice day, Rainbow .

Sorry about the party, Berylmusprat , it sounds like you did theright thing to take him home...and letting him sleep! I wonder if children grow more in the Spring? All 3 of mine are shooting up!

amistillsexy Just miss out the 'pom'

rainbow and hellymelly - I feel better too, knowing I'm not alone :)

That is a very interesting theory about teeth.

Hope you had a nice day today, we had a lie in, he woke early, went to the loo and we packed back him off to bed, got a lie in until 8.30am !! have had a lovely day today, if only the party had been today and not yesterday - ho hum!!

We have been so worried about my dd,she went from a confident and sunny child in reception (although not there full time) to a shell of herself,in a matter of weeks.It helps me,too, to see that other six year olds have similar things going on,even if they are less extreme.My best friend says "you are only as happy as your least happy child" certainly true eh? I do believe that although there were several things that my dd found distressing about school,the fact that she is generally overstretched and gets overtired very easily didn't help at all.There does seem to be some big change around this time,a longing for greater independance but at the same time wanting to be a toddler again,growth spurts including teeth,emotional shifts too,its all quite a lot for someone who was a toddler only a very short time ago. .