4yo DS hitting me... help

[cathbath]

DS has gone through phases of hitting in the past, but I thought we were on top of the situation. Recently however it has started again... He is 4.5 now and very big for his age, easily the size of a 5-6 year old. I don't know how to handle it...

For example, the other night DS, DD and I had been having a nice time laughing at funny cartoons and then I said (after a couple of warnings) that it was bedtime. DS refused to go upstairs and when I insisted, he hit me in the face. I lost it and yelled at him (I have never hit him), and bundled him into bed. I was absolutely livid and ashamed and upset at what had happened.

He doesn't seem to care and often looks quite happy when he hits, like he thinks it's funny. Though he sometimes cries and say sorry afterwards (if I take his favourite toy away, for example).

In the past he has hit DH too and even once his preschool teacher (I was mortified, and went in to talk to her). In general he's actually pretty sensitive and caring - he is kind to his little sister, sociable and popular at preschool and a real bright spark. However he is extremely strong-willed and gets frustrated easily.

DH is away this week and DS's behaviour has been particularly difficult. I try to be firm and fair, but when his response is to hit me I am just not sure how to handle it...

Hi there I have a 3 yr old who has a strong will as well. Do you put him in timeout and no attention when he behaves this way? My daughter does hit home but she has at nursery and even bit teachers there. I found that being firm and consistent and ignore bad behaviour help in my case.

Hi arista, we have tried timeouts in the past but they haven't worked at all well. DS just gets angrier and it is impossible to get him to sit still anywhere.

I try to be firm and consistent in other ways. For example, if he messes around on his scooter, he knows I will take it away and he won't get to scoot to preschool. There are certain behaviours I can deal with as there is an obvious and immediate consequence. He rarely co-operates with simple requests, but I try to make a game of things like putting shoes on, getting ready for bed... However it is exhausting and this week I've been feeling worn down by it all, and especially as he has been hitting more.

I feel like I need an immediate consequence that will show him that hitting is not ok. When he hits, things have usually escalated already and he is beyond reason (and so am I...). It's just so hard for me to deal with the hitting emotionally and stay in control of my reactions.