my 3yo is horrible to me all the time HELP!!!

[crazybubbasmummy]

Over the past month or so my 3 yo has started being horrible to me. Unkess im baking with him or colouring with him, taking him to the park or buying him toys he is telling me he dont like me and shouting at me kicking and hitting me.
If i ask him to eat his dinner he starts if i ask him to get in the bath he starts, sometimes everything can be fine and then he will just blurt out he dont like me and start!
ive tried to just ignore it and pretend i cant hear him that doesnt work ive tried telling him off but that makes him worse and we end up in a shouting match
the other day we just sat there and cried for ages at each other
i jnust dont know what to do, im due to have baby number 2 in 4 months and am starting to panick i wont cope with him, baby, tiredness and everyday living

Sounds like he is reacting to the uncertainty of what it will be like with a baby around.

Have you talked much about having a baby brother or sister?

Its really difficult but I think you need to not give him choices like "can you get in the bath" but just say "you are going in the bath"."Its dinnertime" "its bedtime" and sit him on chair/put him in bath etc.It sounds harsh I know but he is testing the boundaries as children are wont to do.You are the adult and you make the rules.He is 3 and needs the guidance.Reading that back it sounds like i am being harsh but i am not meaning to be.Also you need to be consistent and stick to your guns.Just my opinion though.Toddlers are very hard work xx

yes that's a bump jealousy- thing
poor you, you must be knackered, my 2.8 little boy can be a swine and Im not pg!!

can you cuddle up on sofa and have a big talk about how he's your special big boy and tell him how much you love him etc.
the shouting match thing - I always get into that with my son.

boys. they have bad stages then a few weeks on it all changes again

Ok I am going to sound harsh but I have learned this the hard way.

He treats you like that because you let him.
Do Not argue with him
move him or you out of the way for 3 minutes (to give you time to be calm as much as him)
I don't think ignoring is the right approach to him hitting and kicking you. He has to be told clearly and firmly NO.
not don't do that to mummy or gently softie stuff just a clear firm NO.
As for the disobedience, so he doesn't eat his dinner.. so what, it will be intereting to see how he reacts if you just say ok there is nothing until dinner / breakfast etc and let the meal finish.
If you ask him to get in the bath and he refuses, how about a strip wash with a flannel and the sink as an alternative choice, he gets clean either way but it takes the pressure out of the situation for both of you.
The thing is as you get tired and he knows the baby is coming soon you are both probably more nervous and edgy than normal.
So I would also add that at times when he is being lovely (which I hope does happen sometimes) I would really lay it on thick with how much you love him and what a fabulous little boy he is.

I have written too much, I am still learning I have a 6 year old who dominated our family for 5 years and it is only in the last year I have realised that I HAVE to takle him hitting me, kicking me etc.
Be kind to yourself, things will be fine, you just need to be a bit firm with him x

Oh yes,and praise good behaviour:)

ps he doesn't really not like you,he is being 3.:)

i have really praised him when he is being nice and ill txt daddy and tell daddy when he gets home to praise him for being nice and i can tell he laps it up but as soon as we stop giving him the attention he flips at me! or he can be fine for example tonight he gets out the bath (i play with him in the bath we have a game he loves) i get his pjs and say come here so i can put your cream on (he is starting to get eczema) and he stands there talking to me about the cream like are you putting in on my tummy, yes darling im putting it on your tummy everything is fine nearly at the end just finishing his arms and he starts shouting i dont want cream i dont like you i dont want cream i dont like you totally from no where was all in a good mood then he just flips! how do i deal with that the cream is on so i cant say ok dont have cream!! im really struggling :( ! thank you so far for the advice i will definetly try some different things xx

My son is 4 and if he tells me that I'm 'not his friend', I just say, 'oh well, it's a pity that I won't be able to play with you then, if you're not my friend'. That usually stops him in his tracks.

If he starts making a fuss about the cream, just shrug and say, 'oh well (my favourite phrase, obviously), it's done'. If he keeps yelling tell him he's hurting your ears and you will have to send him to his room until he stops yelling. That's what I would do.

Where it's possible to do so I'd remove yourself from the situation, he starts having a paddy I'd walk off probably saying something like "I'm going to start reading x y z now"

Sounds tough for you at the moment.