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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

'kissing' has become biting

10 replies

mabel1973 · 21/10/2005 21:18

my 10 month old ds's kisses (sucking your face!) have now turned into biting since he now has 6 teeth. Which doesn't bother me, but he has started doing it to other babies at playgroup. I realise that he has the urge to bite on something as he is teething, but would prefer it not to be another child! Should I be telling him 'no' to teach him that biting is wrong or should I just try and intercept him before it happens? I am worried that he just wont understand what he's done wrong as it is a natural urge for him not an aggressive thing and I have been told that you shouldn't say no to them at this age as it can affect their confidence. Any advice on how to handle this would be really appreciated!

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CountessCatbertula · 21/10/2005 21:25

Tried everything with DD1. And I mean everything. Totally unsuccesffuly. Her biting became a problem, and I just couldn't get a handle on it, until she "grew" out of it.

DD2 looked to be heading the same way. On reflection I think it really is that when they have no teeth you don't mind the gumming and such - and then they get teeth and "OUCH!" and they really LIKE this reaction... Mine were very late teethers too, so they had been used to being able to gum without anyone bothering.

SO. What I did that really DID work, was to change her behaviour from nasty biting to lovely kisses. Whenever she bit, I would react very calmly, and say "No - no we don't like biting. Kisses please", and would kiss her. She then started to kiss back, and when she did we would THEN react hugely saying "Lovely kisses, we love kisses" (etc). Even now at 18 months, she occasionally goes to bite, and then stops, looks at me, and then gives a big kiss. It worked when she was going to bite other people / children too. I would encourage my friends to take the same approach with her, being honest and saying she could get bitey when excitable and this is what they should do.

It has saved me from being the mother of the bitey child, because that really was a miserable time with DD1.

staceym11 · 21/10/2005 21:33

i use the 2 methods to discipline dd, either ignor behavior (kinda hard when its biting children) or time out

i know the time out is kinda boring etc etc but it does work, dd started biting and she got warned if she did it again she'd spend a minute on mummy's lap, and then i stuck to it, after the minute id sit her down and say you got a minute on my lap because you did x, you can now go and play but if you do it again you will sit on my lap again. sometimes it could take 4/5 times but she gets it in the end.

it can be hard coz she screams but it does work and stops bad/dangerous behavior, she now knows not to play with wires, shes not allowed near my glass ornaments, she cant touch the tv, she's not to play in the dogs water, she isnt to go near the back door (theres lots of steps) and she isnt to bite/hit people, sure theres more but just cant remember, and shes not one yet (well she will be tomo) so i think its really effective, but it probably depends on the child

sorry long post!!!

Original poster

mabel1973 · 21/10/2005 21:34

Thanks - I will give that a go. Thinking about it when he does make me squeal it makes him giggle, so I suppose the reaction is just reinforcing his behaviour.
I assume that you have to make sure that Grandparents etc are going to take the same approach - he has got in to the habit of biting my dads nose....

OP posts:

CountessCatbertula · 21/10/2005 21:37

I am bearing in mind you have a 10m old. As they are still just babies at this age, they can't really follow any timeout approaches etc - it is about changing their behaviour to something more acceptable before it becomes habitual (like it did with DD1)...

CountessCatbertula · 21/10/2005 21:39

Noses Yes!!! And DD2 liked biting babies toes. Much to my horror and the horror of said babies mothers (only happened twice, and then I wouldn't let her within a mile of a baby with bare toes) Anything which was just there and asking to be munched really...

Original poster

mabel1973 · 21/10/2005 21:43

lol!!! a friends lo has very little hair on his head and I am sure the reason ds tries to bite it is he thinks it a big juicy peach or something!!

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staceym11 · 21/10/2005 21:45

i started timing out dd as soon as she started moving (soon after 10mth) and it works with her, they are often more intelligent than people give them credit for

Original poster

mabel1973 · 21/10/2005 21:47

I think ds is just coming to an age now where he is just starting to test me and realises he can control situations by behaving in certain ways - so I guess I really need to start being careful now how I react to him.

OP posts:

staceym11 · 21/10/2005 21:53

they know very well fro ma young age how to manipulate, and you've guessed it he's starting to do it now! lol, whatever you're method make sure it is consitant throughout (even if you're tired or grotty) even with (as you said) other family members etc, coz they soon know if you give in once you probably will again!!!!

good luck, my dd is now 1 and shes finding more new and interesting things to get into mischeif with!! (like climbing the stairs while her nan is hoovering them )

izzybiz · 22/10/2005 11:10

my 17month old DD has only just started biting, yesterday in fact. im really trying not to show any response, and just move her away,and try to get a kiss instead. im actually amazed that she hasnt bothered before now! i think its just a thing that most kids go through.

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