warring siblings - any strategies?

[mitsuko]

I have a 19mnth old boy and a 2yr4mnth old girl. They have a good bond but are incapable of doing any activities with me without bugging each other - even when they are getting along it always seems to end in tears as the eldest gets over enthusiastic and a hug becomes an unintentional strangle......feels like I spend the whole day separating them and never do anything constructive. How do other people cope? They even annoy each other sitting side by side in the double buggy! Any tips appreciated.

have one adopted! pick your favourite and keep that one

when they are actually fighting / arguing let them sort it out themselves. you will only make it worse by trying to be the ref! intervene only if it crosses into bullying or if you are ankle deep in blood. have regular 1 on 1 time if possible. try to make sure they get time away from each other as being together all day every day would drive anybody nuts! Acknowledge their feelings but NEVER be seen to take sides. and so on and so forth!

good luck to us all, i'm told it settles down after they hit 30!

A nine month gap?? Maybe because they are so close in age they are, quite naturally, not quite ready yet to give each other some space. Do you have any help from family or othewise, so you could take them out one at a time, even something simple like feeding the ducks at the park for an hour or so? Good luck.

sorry, must be the sleep deprivation, dd is 3yrs4mnths old, not 2. that really would be hell

have tried letting them sort it out but it's hard - on the one hand I want them to be able to work things out, for when they are around other kids too as I won't always be there to intervene, but things can get a bit fraught and I'm also trying to teach them not to bite, hit, push etc....

one on one time is great as they are like different children then, so I try to do this as much as possible, but inevitably they have to spend a fair amount of time together

this morning I resorted to putting a stairgate across a doorway so they were on separate sides -not ideal but I could talk to and see both of them

a colouring book each at separate ends of the kitchen table next...

Toddler groups, seperate naps mights helps. Toddler groups are a very good idea. Where I used to live we went to one every day (in the morning) to burn off some energy. Can you start getting the 21/5 year old to start walking a bit (with reins) that might helps a bit. In a few months one will be a nursery 5 sessions (that will help

My 7 and 31/2 year old fight (not so badly) but my oldest goes and plays up in her room and if my 3 year is bugging her too much he is sent up to find something in their room to play with. 10mins apart seems to help alot