labelling of yourchild by other parents and other children

[bringonthepancakes]

Im a little bit worried about DD and the labelling she seems to be attracting after only starting school since jan.

Shes a very loud, confident, articulate girl and yes, i supose quite bright.

( this is not a boasting post in discuise)

I just assumed she was mostly the same as everyone else. But shes spending most play times playing with older children and then one of the other mums said to be about how grown up my dd was ( having not said anything much to me before)like shes an 8 year old in a 5 year olds body and then another said how bright and how its clear shes very intelligent. ( im not so convinced)

I dont want her to have this label im really worried shes going to end up isolated.
Or that people will begin to think shes difficult becuase she just asks questions or talks constantly.

Shes poilet and plays nicely.. but she is bossy and quite assertive and im just a bit worried shes going to get left out.

I dont know if i should talk to the teacher and she how she is in class?
or just leave it? ( DD has friends and is happy)

But it is becoming apparent, that she is quite different to a fair amount of children in her class.

or am i just worrying about notihng.

she seems to get on with older children a lot easier.
She gets annoyed with the ones in her class because they cant do things.

I have tried telling her that not everyone can do everything. but she just comes out and says ( i overheard ' why cant you dress yourself, i can, you should try. i can show you'
there isnt any malice... i guess she doesnt have any tact, shes 5.

but im just worried someone will take umbridge and then the mums playground comments after only such a short time means they have noticed as well.

:(

I think you are worrying about nothing. Dd1 is quite old for her age. Given the choice outside of school all her friends are older than her by at least two years. She still has lots of friends in her year group and class.

DD does too.
At the momment.

And shes fine... i just think its odd that some of the mums have commented to me. Its maybe just made me paranoid.

My DD1 has a girl in her class who is bright, bossy and very assertive - she is constantly commenting on everything DD does and whether it is okay or not okay. This girl has lots of older friends outside of school and has really upset my DD on many occasions with her patronising comments.

I saw the teacher about this because DD was getting upset about it every night. She talked to both girls and to this girl's mum. Both teacher and mum have done a lot of work in helping the friend to understand what is and isn't acceptable behaviour with her peer group. Because she is bright and really longs to be accepted, this seems to have worked a treat. DD has warmed to her and we have put some strategies in place to fend off the girl's less-attractive qualities.

I think lots of girls seems to be very bossy (DD certainly is) but you need charm to get away with it. This girl has been a source of upset for several other children in the class and I think she and they needed strategies set in place earlier (they are now in Y2) to help them relate better. Part of the problem was that this girl is very chatty and charming to grown-ups - I thought she was great for ages.

So I would talk to the teacher - she might be very pleased to have you on board and it will benefit your DD if she can learn to get on with her peer group without telling them what to do.

Being bright won't make your dd isolated. Being bossy might- but then that is something that you can help her work on.

Personally, this is what i think Reception is for. Forget reading level stuff, help your child learn how to work with 29 other children who may or may not be like them. Some children are confident, some calm, some kind, some creative... etc etc.

the bright thing is fine but I'dworry about the bossy part. that isn't nice and children will keep away fromher if she s really bossy.

The good news is that children forget really quickly and are usually happy to move on. So if your dd can sort her behaviour, chances are she will have a totally different label in a few months time.