16 month old

[kaylee1987]

Hi, My 16 month old boy has developed a problem with hitting out for no reason.
He has had problems with his ears for a few months now and has is pushing through several Teeth at the moment, but for the last few weeks has taken to hitting people for no clear reason. We have started saying no first time then putting him into his cot alone for a minute but when one of us goes to get him out he will be very grumpy and will turn his head as not to look at us.
I understand he must be in the least in a little discomfort most of the time but how do we effectivly combat this willfulness and violent tempremant? Our 6 year old has been the aim of some of this (once after our 6 yr old was told off the, littlest decided to dish out some disapline of his own on him)I have never known such stubborness and willfulness in a child so young. really need help.

He sounds like a typical boisterous little boy.
He is bright and intelligent by the sound of it, so telling him firmly "No" immediately after he has hit. Also maybe firmly hold his arms so he cannot continue. He will understand you are stopping him hitting.
Then, removing him well away from the object/person he is hitting. Also say "No hitting, you do not hit DD" He will probably cry loudly but try hard to ignore (know its hard)
He is only 16 months, but he understands a lot more than you think.
He is still a baby though and cannot control his behaviour. But persevere and he will learn that bad behaviour is unacceptable and that Mummy doesnt like it at all. He will want you approval so praise all good behaviour, even if its only sitting quietly eating Tea etc. When he is friendly to his sister/parent/friend praise him lots. He will soon learn that being gentle and friendly is good and being aggressive is not.
Good luck, know its not easy, but hang on in there. xx

Maybe try telling and showing him that you do not hit and show him an alternative like stroking his sister. Show him how to stroke her hair,, saying " No, dont hit your sister, look, you must stroke her, like this ",, and say "AAHHH !" When he does it praise him lots with hugs/ cuddles and tell him what a good boy he is.

I think your child might be related to mine. My son is three and gets frustrated that he's the littlest and therefore feels that the one way he can communicate is by hitting, screaming etc. He's so wilful but little which makes it always so difficult to know how to manage him.

Punishing him has only made him worse, so now we try to ignore his attention seeking behaviour where possible. When he hits his elder brother, who is six, I ask him to say sorry and then move him to the other side of the room. If he tries to do it again, I move him further and further away until he's out of the room. He soon gets bored. Good luck

One of the problems is he also is refusing to try to talk, we have another on the way due in september and want to help him over come this 'phase' before no.3 comes along!

I wouldnt worry about the talking bit yet, He is still only 16 months. It will come.
Boys can sometimes be late talkers.
I always think girls are quicker to talk, potty train and are just more advanced than boys at the same age, and he sounds like a typical little boy.

Thank you for all the help, we went to the doctor yesterday and he said it was pent up fustration due to his ears as he wants to communicate but cant hear properly to decifer how words are formed properly, so he ends up with bar abr and blowing different pitched raspberries!

aaahhh, bless.
well its good you went and found out what the Doctor thought the problem to be.
I guess you have be extra tolerant of little one then and cut him some slack when he gets furious. Its still important though to still tell him hitting is a No, No and remove him from the situation.

He is bound to get very frustrated, as they do at this age, cos they know what they want or are trying to do, but havnt got the words to express what they want. When he gets angry try to remain cool and you can use you words to try and help him, like,:
"Whats the matter?"
"What do you want"?
"No, You mustnt hit,....... come on , look what has Mummy got here?'
and quickly distract him form the offending object.
Finally, I have found a good way to get little one to talk is to offer him his favourite food, and say "Do you want some cake, Yes?" and when he looks really keen, say to him , "Say "Cake" ... ....before you hand it over to him.
If he doesnt finally try to say the word after a few attempts , then just play it cool.
Hoping he will get over the ear problem, and talk eventually.

Yes have tried the food thing but he got very upset and sat in the corner facing the wall and wouldnt look at anyone for ten minutes!! bless him.
just as with any parent I want to give him the best start and help him along as best I can.

Aawwwhh,, bless. He sounds a serious, head strong little chappy.
My oldest DS was a serious determined young man and he still is.
He is 22 yrs now.!!